Chapter 7
Confession
Something was moving across Zach’s body, and he woke, but he didn’t move or open his eyes as he assessed the threat.
It didn’t take long to determine what it was, especially as a hot, wet tongue licked up across his stomach, finding its way to one of his nipples where it twirled inexpertly around it.
“Drew?” he murmured, keeping his eyes closed.
“Hmmm?” Drew responded, not ceasing his exploration.
“Whatcha doing, sweetness?”
“Just making sure we’re even,” he replied.
At that, Zach opened his eyes and raised his head so he could peer down at him.
Drew was avoiding his gaze, concentrating on the bare skin of Zach’s chest and stomach, and he was blushing, his inexperience written plainly on his face.
He reached down to palm the bulge at the front of the tight black boxer briefs Zach wore, but it wasn’t firm enough to do much more than lightly tease.
Something twisted sharply in Zach’s stomach and he reached down and tugged Drew upwards until he was lying comfortably in Zach’s embrace.
“What did I tell you, Drew? Hmmm?” he asked softly.
Drew’s reply was a confused quirk of his brows.
“I told you that you don’t owe me anything . . . that I’d never extort anything from you.”
“But this is different, isn’t it?” Drew mumbled.
“No, it’s not. Hey, look at me, sweetness.
” He gently took hold of Drew’s chin and tilted his head until their eyes met.
“What happened last night was just as good for me as it was for you.” He held a finger to Drew’s lips as he began to protest. “Sex isn’t about keeping score of orgasms, okay?
It’s as much about finding enjoyment in the pleasure of your partner as it is about the physical pleasure you receive yourself.
I enjoyed last night very much, there’s no doubt about that.
Do I want to do more? Of course, I do, but I want us to take our time .
. . to savour it. I want to be able to savour you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Drew nodded slowly, but his pale blue eyes were still puzzled. “I do, but . . .”
“But what?”
“Well, it’s just that, to be completely honest . . .” He trailed off once more.
“You can talk to me, Drew. I want to do right by you.”
“That’s just it!” he exclaimed. “You’re a demon, Zach! Demons aren’t supposed to want to do right by people! It’s weird and confusing!”
This was it. Time to come clean, to tell the truth. Fuck. He’d been running from the truth for so long now, it was going to be painful to relive it once more. “That’s not technically true,” he admitted.
Drew cocked his head to one side as he regarded Zach. “What’s not technically true?”
Zach took a deep breath and ripped off the metaphorical bandaid. “The part about me being a demon. Technically, I’m not.”
Drew’s brow furrowed even further. “Oookay,” he said, drawing it out. “So what are you, then?”
“It’s a bit of a long story,” Zach said.
“I have time.” He shifted pointedly, getting more comfortable against Zach’s chest. Settling in.
Sighing, Zach prepared himself to tell the story of his betrayal and his consequential fall from grace.
The feel of Drew in his arms brought him some measure of comfort, however, and as he began to speak, he found it easier to tell his story than he thought it would be.
“Once upon a time—a very, very long time ago—I was actually an angel.” Drew’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t interrupt.
“I’m sure you figured out that if one side existed, then the other side would have to exist as well.
It’s not quite like the major religions of the world would have you believe, but they got the names right, at least. There are angels and there is a God, though they aren’t a man, nor are they a woman.
They are just Them, a being of immense power that oversees the creation and evolution of life on all of the planets. ”
Drew sucked in a breath, probably to ask about that final statement, but then he let it go, and as if it was taking all of his willpower, he held his tongue.
“I didn’t ever meet Them myself, very few of us did.
There were higher angels—I guess you could compare them to upper management—and they were the ones who did the day-to-day running of Heaven.
” He smiled wryly. “It was all very corporate when I think about it. Anyway, one of those upper-management angels, Oberon, was like an uncle to me. He took me under his wing, quite literally, and taught me all he knew. I think he was training me to become like him, but I didn’t think much of it, being too caught up in the work I was doing.
I got so involved in my projects that I became oblivious to all that was happening around me, and so I didn’t see what Oberon was doing until it was too late.
He had a plan to seize power from Them, to become the supreme ruler of the universe, but he was discovered and he was judged.
During his trial, he threw me under the metaphorical bus, telling the court I was also involved .
. . that I was in partnership with him.”
“They surely didn’t believe that, did they?” Drew asked, aghast.
Zach shook his head. “No, they didn’t, not really. They announced that I’d be kept under watch and supervised until such time as they could determine with accuracy that I was trustworthy, but Oberon would suffer another fate. He was to be stripped of his wings and then he was to Fall.”
“Fall?”
Zach swallowed loudly. “The Fall was the worst punishment that could be meted out to an angel. It meant banishment from Heaven, to be exiled to Hell, to the Underworld, for all eternity. To no longer be an angel but become a demon instead. I was made to watch as Oberon’s wings were hacked off—a warning I suppose, for what would be in store for me if my heart was as black as his.
Afterward, as he lay there shaking and bleeding, he begged to be able to speak with me one last time.
He confessed I was innocent, that I’d had nothing to do with his schemes, and told them he wished to beg for my forgiveness.
Compassion is one of an angel’s virtues, and so they granted his request. He gestured for me to come closer and I did, eager to hear the apology for his betrayal.
” Zach fell silent for a moment, and his eyes closed as he relived the next moments once more in the privacy of his own mind.
When he opened them again, Drew was watching him with kind eyes and linking their fingers together, feeding Zach the strength to continue.
“Oberon had no intention of apologising. He grabbed me instead, locking my wings by my side with his arms so I was unable to fly, and then he jumped, taking me with him.”
Drew gasped but didn’t press for more, granting Zach the time he needed.
“What happened when we reached the bottom does not bear repeating. Suffice to say, an angel who finds himself in Hell is not in for a pleasant time.”
“The others,” Drew said, frowning. “They didn’t come to rescue you? They knew you were innocent.”
Zach shrugged. “If they tried, they did not succeed. I never saw any of them ever again. Oberon embedded this gem in my chest and it binds me to him and prevents me from escaping the confines of Hell. Only the most powerful magic users have ever been able to summon me, and none of them have ever been able to break its hold on me.” Zach took a deep breath and then met Drew’s eyes.
“Until now, Drew. I truly believe you have that power. I think you’ll be able to free me from Oberon’s grasp. ”
“Me?” Drew squeaked. “I don’t know anything about magic!”
“I know, but Kensington said you have immense power within you. I believe with some training from Kensington, who will be able to help you master that power, you’ll be able to break my bonds. I suppose the question remains . . . Do you want to?”
Drew looked at him in astonishment and shook his head. “Are you fucking insane?” he demanded. “Why the hell wouldn’t I want to help you, Zach? Of course I freaking will!”
Zach relaxed at the words. Being almost certain was very different from knowing for sure and he hadn’t realised how tense that had been making him. “Thank you,” he whispered and then leaned forward to capture Drew’s mouth in a soft kiss.
“You know this explains an awful lot, don’t you?” Drew said a little smugly, as he pulled back.
“What do you mean?” Zach asked.
“Well, to be brutally honest, you’re a really shitty demon,” Drew said, grinning. “Like, you are way too nice. Nowhere near evil enough.”
Zach laughed and conceded the point. “I must admit, there are things I’ve done since the Fall that were not at all angelic, but one does what one needs to survive, I suppose.
I had no way to escape and certain things were expected of me if I wanted to live, and so I did them.
I never took pleasure in them, though, not the truly awful things anyway.
Morals do get a little hazy after such a long time and I doubt I will ever be welcomed back up top, but my hope is to be able to stay here, in this place.
” The with you he left unsaid, unsure if Drew would even be interested in anything long term with him.
As far as Drew had been aware, this was a limited-time-only deal, and maybe he preferred it that way.
He would have to cross that bridge when he got to it.
“Can I ask a question?” Drew asked.
“Of course.”
“What happened to your wings?”
“Oh, those.”
Drew suddenly looked ill. “Oh, fuck, did they cut them off? When they did those horrible things to you?”
Zach shook his head. “No. Yes, they used them to hurt me, but they didn’t cut them off.
Not to say they didn’t try, but for some reason, the only blade that has ever been able to sever wings from an angel is the one used by the most senior of the higher angels.
No, they kind of just . . . faded. It took a long time as they became less and less substantial, until one day they were just gone.
I don’t think they could survive in that sort of environment. ”
“Will you ever get them back?” Drew asked.
He shrugged. “No idea.”
“Do you miss them?”
He smiled sadly. “Every single day.”
“They must have been beautiful,” Drew said wistfully.
Zach nodded. “They were. They were magnificent. Each angel’s wings are a different colour.They’re not all pure white like books and movies would have you believe. Mine were the deepest black you can imagine, but in the light, the feathers were tinged with a deep red.”
“They sound amazing. Maybe once I’ve worked out a way to free you, they’ll come back and I’ll get to see them for myself?”
Zach smiled, and he leaned in for another kiss. “Maybe.”
“Right,” Drew said, and he climbed out of bed. “It looks like I’ve got a lot to learn. Best get to it. Shall we drop by for a visit with the Grand Master and see what he can teach me about tapping into this supposed power of mine?”
Hope welled in Zach’s chest, and he had to blink back tears. “I like the way you think, Drew,” he whispered, and as he climbed from the bed, for a fleeting moment, he felt the weight of his wings at his back.