26. Chapter 26
Chapter 26
H e never kissed me again. I thought there might have been a moment after the second frigid plunge, when he held me again to help warm me up. That time, it wasn’t just his body heat that helped—his nearness had my heart beating double time and my blood pumping again.
As we hiked back to the car, the sun setting along the way, I started to wonder if it was all in my head. Chase never said anything about it, never once brought it up. I almost asked, but then didn’t. It was just a kiss … that I still keep thinking about.
It’s now Sunday night and he’s been texting me all day, just like old times, and it kind of annoys me. I think I want him to think of it as more. I think I want it to mean more. How did he go from Chase to Chase?
Hannah and I are currently sitting in our mostly dark apartment, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills playing on the television. Trashy reality TV is one of our favorite things.
“I think I like Chase,” I blurt out during a commercial, no longer able to keep it in.
“Oh, yeah?” Hannah says. “Glad you finally caught on to that.”
I swing my head to her, the light from the TV dancing around her face. “What?”
“It’s been obvious to me for a while,” she says.
“And you didn’t think to tell me? ”
She reaches over and pats me on the hand. “Oh, sweetie,” she says, her voice full of faux condescension, “you needed to realize it for yourself.”
“Well, I do now. And … he’s leaving.” I slump back in my seat.
“Only for six months.”
“That’s a long time.”
“You’re also assuming he likes you back.”
I whack her on the arm. “You’re supposed to be my best friend. My cheerleader, remember?”
“I’m just keeping it real.”
“Do you think he does?”
She contemplates this for a second. “I don’t know. I haven’t spent all that much time with him.”
“That’s true.”
She pats my hand again. “What does your heart tell you?”
I pull my chin inward. “Since when do you care what the heart says?”
“Well … I have one. I’m pretty sure.”
I take a breath. “What do I do?”
“Tell him,” she says. “See what happens.”
I feel a tiny jolt of anxiety at the thought of telling him, though it’s not the heart palpitations and sweaty pits I used to get around Dawson. It may not even be anxiety, what I’m feeling now. It’s more like … excitement. I want to tell him. And I don’t know if he reciprocates, and I don’t seem to care all that much. Why is that? Shouldn’t I feel the same as I did with Dawson? I tell Hannah as much.
“I have a theory,” she says.
“Do tell.”
“I don’t think you really liked Dawson. Like-like, I mean. ”
I eye her, dubiously.
“Hear me out.” She holds up a hand. “Maybe you could never tell him because, deep down, you just weren’t that into him.”
“Are you serious?”
“Serious,” she says, and then gives me a shrug.
That seems ridiculous. Of course I liked Dawson. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.
“I know he’s the most beautiful man,” she says, and I wonder how she just read my mind. “But … maybe that’s all he was to you: a beautiful man.”
“I’m not that shallow.”
“What else do you know about him?”
“He’s thoughtful, caring, and hard working.”
“He also picked Natasha for a girlfriend.”
I twist my lips to the side. “He does lose points for that.”
“I’m just saying: it’s something to think about.”
She’s not just saying that. She’s made up her mind about it.
My phone beeps in my lap.
I look down and see Chase’s name on my screen and open up the app. My heart does a little speeding-up thing.
Chase: I just found a wolf howling at the moon on my ceiling.
Maggie: Very nice. You should make a wish on it.
Chase: Is that a thing?
Maggie: No
He sends me a laughing face.
Chase: We’re running out of adventurous things to do around here. We’d have to drive 4 hours to bungee jump .
I say a prayer of thanks for that. I do not like bungee jumping. Once was enough for me.
Maggie: Bummer
I send him a frowning face. But really I should be sending him the one with the star eyes.
Chase: I never realized how boring Phoenix is until I decided to be adventurous.
Maggie: Yes, you’ve got to travel to do the really crazy stuff.
Chase: Tell me something you’ve never done.
Maggie: Hmmm
Chase: How to impress the girl that’s done everything …
I try not to read into that, although my hormones did not get the note. Neither did the butterflies in my stomach.
Maggie: Short of hiking Everest, I don’t know what to tell you.
Chase: Everest it is!
Maggie: Hard pass
Maggie: I’ve actually never tried heli-skiing.
I send him one of those shrugging emojis.
Chase: I don’t even know what that is.
Maggie: Helicopters that take you up to remote places to ski. It was on my mom’s list.
Chase: Might be a little warm for that.
Maggie: Wait. I’ve got one. I’ve never been in a hot-air balloon .
Chase: Really?? Seems kind of basic.
Maggie: You’re basic! Always seemed kinda romantic to me.
I throw that line out there. I want to see if he catches it. Romance, Chase.
Chase: Yes, with a third wheel. Someone has to fly the balloon.
Line not caught. But also, he has a point.
Maggie: Well, maybe you should save up all your nerves until your big jump.
Chase: But I want to do something else. Just one thing more. With you.
I feel a fluttering in my belly. I could tell him I’ve got a perfect adventure for him: return my feelings and let’s see where it takes us. Feels like a daring thing to do for both of us.
Chase: I’ll think of something. Be ready on Saturday.
Maggie: I’ll be ready.