Chapter 22 #2
He didn't leave his room. Didn't eat. Didn't check his phone.
The device sat on his nightstand, silent, its screen dark, and he couldn't bring himself to touch it.
Couldn't bring himself to look at whatever messages waited there.
Couldn't bear to read Landen's words, whatever they were; explanations, excuses, apologies, confessions.
None of it mattered. None of it could undo the damage.
He lay curled on his side, the curtains drawn tight against the daylight, the world reduced to the quiet hum of the apartment and the weight in his chest that wouldn't lift.
It pressed down on him constantly. A physical thing, heavy and suffocating.
He breathed around it, through it, but it never went away.
It was there when he closed his eyes and there when he opened them, there in the silence and in the occasional sounds from the rest of the apartment; Jenna moving around, the TV turning on, the faint smell of coffee.
Sometime in the afternoon, there was a knock on his bedroom door. Soft at first. Tentative. Then firmer.
"Adriel? You okay?"
His throat tightened instantly, fresh tears burning behind his eyes. He pressed his face into the pillow and willed himself to be still, to disappear into the mattress and never come out.
The door opened anyway.
Jenna stepped inside and stopped short when she saw him.
He must have looked terrible. He knew he must have; could feel it in the way his skin felt tight and raw, in the ache behind his eyes, in the heavy drag of his limbs.
He was naked, wrapped into his old blanket.
His hair was a tangled mess, still damp from the shower he'd taken who knew how many hours ago.
His eyes were red and swollen, evidence of tears he couldn't hide.
Jenna didn't say anything right away.
She crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. The mattress dipped under her weight, pulling him slightly toward her. Her hand came to rest on his shoulder, warm and solid through the blanket.
"Hey," she said quietly.
That was all it took.
Adriel broke. He turned toward her, the sound that came out of him somewhere between a sob and a gasp. The words tumbled out before he could stop them, before he could think, before he could try to make himself sound less pathetic than he felt.
"I saw him. Zach. He was there. He was with Landen. They were… they were standing together, laughing, and he saw me and he…"
His voice cracked. He kept going anyway.
"They know each other. They have to know each other. And I kept thinking… what if this was the whole thing? What if Landen only… what if they planned it? What if I was just a… a joke to them? Something to laugh about?"
The words dissolved into sobs before he could finish them.
"I'm so stupid," he gasped. "I should have known. I always know. This always happens. Why do I keep letting this happen?"
Jenna pulled him into her arms without hesitation. He went willingly, collapsing against her, pressing his face into her shoulder. She was warm and solid and she smelled like home. Her arms wrapped around him tight, holding him together as he fell apart.
She murmured nonsense sounds; soft and steady. Her hand rubbed slow circles into his back, grounding him, reminding him he was still here, still real, still breathing.
When he finally quieted enough to breathe, she pulled back just far enough to look at his face. Her eyes were wet too, he noticed dimly.
"Hey," she said again, firmer this time. "Slow down. Start from the beginning."
Adriel wiped at his face with the heel of his hand. It came away wet. He took a shaky breath, and started over.
When he was done, when the words finally ran out, Jenna exhaled slowly.
"Oh, Adriel," she said. She pulled him back into her arms and held him tight. Her hand found the back of his head, cradling him against her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
He clung to her like a lifeline.
The anger was still there, churning beneath the surface. But Jenna's presence dulled the edges just enough that he could breathe again. Just enough that the weight in his chest felt slightly less crushing.
He didn't know what this meant yet. Didn't know what came next. Didn't know if he would ever talk to Landen again, if he would ever get answers, if he would ever stop feeling like his chest had been hollowed out.
He only knew that whatever he'd thought he had was gone.
And the hurt felt bottomless.
∞∞∞
Landen
By Sunday evening, the panic had gone full-bodied.
It crawled under his skin, constant and unrelenting. He couldn't sit still, couldn't focus, couldn't do anything except pace and check his phone and think about all the things he should have done differently.
He’d went to Adriel’s apartment that morning, pounded on the door until his knuckles were bloody, until a neighbor appeared and threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave.
He did, eventually, going back home feeling worse than before.
He'd tried to work. He'd gone to his home office, sat at his desk, opened his laptop. He stared at the screen for twenty minutes without seeing anything.
His phone sat beside him, face-up, screen dark. He kept glancing at it, willing it to light up, willing Adriel's name to appear. It stayed stubbornly dark.
He tried to read an email. Got through the first line before his mind wandered. Tried again. Gave up and just sat there, staring at nothing, while the panic wound itself tighter and tighter inside his chest.
When the email notification popped up, he almost didn't look at it.
Then he saw the sender.
Adriel Alvarez.
For a split second, relief surged through him so hard it almost hurt.
Finally. The word formed in his mind, bright and desperate. Finally, he's…
Then he opened it.
The email was short. It thanked the company for the opportunity. It stated that due to personal reasons, Adriel was resigning effective immediately. It was signed with his full name, formal and distant.
There was no explanation. No emotion. No goodbye.
Landen stared at the screen. The words blurred. He blinked, tried to focus, read it again. Then again. Each time, the meaning stayed the same. Each time, the finality of it settled deeper into his chest.
He scrolled down, searching for more. For something hidden. For a note only he would understand. For anything that would make this make sense.
There was nothing.
"No," he said aloud.
He reached for his phone. His hands were shaking, he noticed it dimly. His fingers fumbled, nearly dropped it, finally managed to dial.
The phone rang.
Once. Twice. Three times.
Voicemail.
He hung up. Called again.
Voicemail.
He left a message this time, his voice breaking despite his efforts to keep it steady.
"Adriel, it's me. Please call me. I don't know what happened, but please… just call me. We can talk about this. Whatever it is, we can…"
He stopped. Swallowed. His throat was tight, his eyes burning.
"Please," he said. "Just call me."
He left another message. And another. The words tumbled out, questions and reassurances and apologies he didn't even understand yet.
He said things he couldn't remember saying, made promises he couldn't remember making.
All of it tumbled out in a rush because the silence on the other end was unbearable.
He lost track of how many messages he left.
All he knew was that none of them were answered.
Eventually, he stopped. Set the phone down on the desk. Stared at it, waiting for it to light up, to buzz, to do something.
It stayed dark.
∞∞∞
Eventually, he called Gael.