Chapter 28
JOSIE
Victor somehow doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest by that interview with the journalist, and I find that unbelievable. He’s a complete professional when it comes to exposing everything in front of an interrogator, totally undisturbed and unthreatened by her personal questions. That’s very unlike me – my own heart is still racing at a million beats a minute even as we drive away from that strange old warehouse.
I sit next to him in his fancy sports car and try to calm my breathing.
That was one of the most intense experiences of my life.
And the man next to me has taken it in his stride.
I’ve never had to talk about myself like that. I’ve never had to lie like that.
Victor looks intently ahead. He’s silent but relaxed. I feel like a wound-up ball of stress next to him. I’m certainly bringing down the mood.
“Did I do well?” I ask him, my voice super tiny.
“Yes.”
“God, listen to me. My insecurities are showing. I have to keep running my mouth. I feel like I have no confidence at all.”
“You were fine, Josie.”
I take in another deep breath.
“When will the interview be out?” I ask.
“A month or two,” the actor replies. “Evelyn will let me know.”
He’s stilted. I don’t know why. Did I push him too hard to answer that question about his passion for movies? It felt like the right thing at the right time, but now I am second-guessing myself. I don’t want him to feel bad about it. I wanted it to be a good thing.
I want to help his image.
“I’m proud of you for talking about your love for movies,” I say.
Victor merely nods and continues to stare ahead at the road. I feel that distance from him.
I am beginning to truly realize that this isn’t an intimate relationship. It truly is fake. It truly is all a fa?ade.
Victor doesn’t have to care for me as much as a real girlfriend. That much is true.
Even when I was answering that journalist’s questions, it all felt fake to me. A real lie. That feeling really was eating me up from the inside.
I hope it isn’t going to be a long-lasting thing during the length of our little agreement.
But I’m afraid it might turn out to be...