Chapter 51
VICTOR
I plunge into the clear blue water of the lake, and I am suddenly hit with a refreshing taste of the cold. The chill eats into my bones like fire. I feel it burn my insides. But, despite that, I like the icy experience. I like the way the extreme temperature makes my body ache and burst awake. I like how the water flows around my muscles and the power and speed I have swimming through it even as it stings.
I’ve really needed these past few days - that’s the realization I have as I plunge in. I’ve needed this villa and this vacation. I have spent too damn long working at my craft or simply just thinking and thinking and thinking about getting that best actor award, and I have not set aside the time to just... relax. But now, here at the villa, I finally can.
And Josie has helped, in her own special, unique way.
Josie has allowed me to relax, whatever that has come to mean. Look, I’ve truly never spent time with someone like this – someone who makes me feel at peace. It’s strange. It’s kind of scary. I don’t know what to think about it all...
We’re going out on the boat here on the lake tonight. I didn’t have that planned this morning, but I organized it because of the awkward feeling today when I saw that pretty face and those intelligent, inquisitive eyes staring at me. I mean, I never feel awkward. But I did today.
She kissed me...
And I kissed her.
And it felt good. Damn good. Better than I could have imagined.
But this was all meant to be fake. Nothing more...
But something else is driving me and my emotions, and I can’t place it. I am feeling things I’ve never felt before. I never wanted this, but now that I have it... I don’t want to let it go. I don’t want to let Josie go...
What am I thinking?
Do I trust my gut or my heart?
I don’t know anymore. And that doesn’t happen to a Penmayne. And certainly not me.
Damn it, Victor.
This girl has got me. It’s undeniable, even to me.
Fuck.
I swim over to the shore and pull myself out of the water. I can’t keep going while my thoughts are plagued like this. I feel heavy. Demotivated. I just want to be alone with my thoughts.
The water drips around me as I start to make my way back inside the villa with my towel wrapped around my waist.
And I can sense Josie watching me from the villa. She’s watching every step I make. She’s somewhere up there in some window or something – I just know it.
I can feel her eyes on me.
It’s like a sixth sense.
I can sense that girl like no one else.
I want to see her again.
I want to kiss her again.
I want to make love to her.
Fuck, how long can we stay under the same roof without all this falling apart?