Chapter 54
VICTOR
Josie snuggles into my arms as our boat bobbles gently in the dark and empty lake. The fireworks are over, both in terms of the explosions in the sky and in our sensual contact. We’re both so overcome with what has just happened. All we can do is touch each other. Connect with each other.
I’ve never wanted to connect with a girl post-sex before...
“That was nice,” she whispers as she pulls in closer.
I hold her tighter. I smell her. Her skin is warm and soft.
And I know I’ve really done something here - something I don’t know if I could escape even if I wanted. It’s like I’ve committed to something, and it’s too damn early to figure out what it is exactly...
We sleep together in the same bed when we get back to the villa. No one made that decision, but it just felt right to the both of us. To be honest, I’m relieved we did. Somehow, I wanted to be physically close to Josie. I wanted to hear her sleep. I wanted to feel her next to me.
What is going on, Victor?
This is truly a unique experience for me. No way in hell could you have found me actually wanting to sleep next to a girl with no sexual pleasure. I usually liked to leave the minute the fucking was over, but not with Josie.
Josie wakes up first. She stirs, and I stir with her. It’s like my body is attuned to her, for some crazy reason. I am normally a deep sleeper - the other person in the bed doesn’t wake me usually. But Josie merely moving makes my consciousness want to get up with her.
Really? What the hell is going on, Victor?
I stay in bed as she slides out of it.
“I’m going for a swim in the lake,” she whispers to me. “A little morning swim.”
I simply nod in acknowledgment, overwhelmed with all these new emotions peppering my mind.
Before she leaves, she bends over and gives me a soft kiss on my cheek.
And then she’s gone.
And I’m freaking the fuck out.
What?
I hate how vulnerable I am around her. I hate how she makes me feel so exposed. I hate that all my normal defenses simply crumble away around her, and I just want to be giddy and to kiss her every waking moment.
This truly has never happened to me.
Am I going crazy?
What was last night? What was all that effort? The fireworks?
I don’t do that. I take girls back to hotel suites, fuck them, then let them go back into the wild. I don’t do any of the stuff I’ve done with Josie.
Playboy, my ass.
My hand is shaking. My heart-rate is super elevated.
I know what I have to do.
I need a way to think straight.
I call my brother August. The phone barely rings before he answers.
“Victor?”
“Hello, August.”
“There must be a problem if you’re calling me,” he says with a smug tone.
“No problem is happening, brother,” I reply. “Well, actually...”
“I knew it. A problem. What’s up?”
The smart bastard...
August is a doctor - a pediatrician, in fact. One of the best in the country. He’s worked hard to be where he is today. We might be totally different personalities in that he’s gone into medicine, and I entertain people for a living, but we still have the same Penmayne work ethic - that’s something that binds all of us Penmayne brothers together.
I know that August is way too damn busy to follow the news, especially trivial tabloid gossip - he won’t know shit about Josie and me, which makes him the perfect candidate for me to call and get all this craziness off my chest. He’s so damn smart and level-headed. Surely, he can explain how my dumb brain is malfunctioning.
“Okay, if I explain this to you, I don’t want you laughing me out of here...”
My brother is already laughing.
“Go on, Victor,” he says. “I promise I won’t laugh too much. Tell your brother what your big old problem is.”
I sigh. Maybe revealing all this is going to be a big mistake...
“It’s a girl, August.”
There’s a long pause.
“What do you mean? A girl? What have you done, Victor?”
“I’ve got myself involved with a girl, August.”
There’s an even longer pause.
And then a sound that sounds suspiciously like August trying to hold back laughter.
“No way. A girl? Not Victor Penmayne. Not a girl.”
“This is no joking matter, brother...”
“I just can’t believe it,” August says. “You?”
“Yes.”
“You’re involved with a girl?” he asks.
He’s really starting to repeat himself now, and that’s pissing me off.
“Yes. How many times am I going to reiterate that? I’ve got myself involved with a girl, brother.”
“And what is the problem with this girl?” he asks.
I sigh again.
“I don’t know what to do next,” I admit.
August’s flippant tone flips back to his usual more serious self.
“Do you like this girl?” he questions somberly.
“Yes.”
“And does she like you?”
“I think so,” I reply.
“And does she know what she’s getting in for when she signs up for a life with you?” my brother asks.
“I think so.”
“Good,” August says. “Then it’s up to you and how you feel about her. Think about what happens next. Think about your future together.”
“And what happens next?” I ask my brother.
“It’s on you,” he replies. “It’s totally on you. Just don’t you break her heart.”