Chapter 19
LACHLAN
The sun glinted off the sea, somewhat lightening my strange mood. The spectacular view across Ardnoch Estate toward Ardnoch Firth, the inlet that drained into the North Sea, was the reason I’d chosen the smaller apartments for my personal use.
Hands in my pockets, I contemplated my family’s estate, and wondered (not for the first time) if creating the club had been the right route to preserve it.
There was no question something had to be done.
Estates of this size were a fortune to run, and I’d known if I didn’t transform it into some kind of business, I’d end up having to sell it bit by bit.
I’d already sold off Adair land to provide my siblings with some form of inheritance.
That land hadn’t been our home, though. The thought of being the Adair who lost Ardnoch was unbearable.
Yet, even with its success, I admitted to a feeling of discontent.
I’d put it down to the strange and dangerous stalker situation that had grown ominously quiet since the security system was no longer a liability.
However, I’d been feeling this way before the stalker started messing with the lives of the people I cared about.
My phone abruptly rang, vibrating on the desk beside the window. I reached for it, relieved to see Brodan’s name flashing across the screen. I answered, “It’s about time.”
My brother chuckled. “I thought I better call you before you drive my agent mad with your constant harassment.”
“If you’d answer your bloody phone now and then, I wouldn’t have to harass your agent.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s been a busy time.”
“Yes, brawling with club bouncers will certainly keep you busy.”
Brodan huffed. “Lachlan—”
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing’s going on with me,” Brodan answered tightly. “And don’t speak to me like I’m a child. I got into a fight when I was drunk. Big deal.”
“It is a big deal. One, you’re thirty-five years old. Maybe, I don’t know … grow the hell up?”
“I don’t need this—”
“Two, you wanted to act, and you said you could handle the fame. It comes with the responsibility of maintaining this family’s reputation when you’re out there. That means not giving those tabloid vultures fodder.”
My brother was deadly silent.
I sighed. “Brodan, you promised me when I got you into that life, it wouldn’t change you.”
“How has it changed me?” he snapped.
“You’re never home. You don’t call your family. You have no idea what is going on with them most of the time, and you’re out there living it up as this drunken, wild party boy that wasn’t you even when you were a boy.”
“I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on with his family half the time.”
I tensed. “And what does that mean?”
Brodan hesitated. Then, “Arran. At least I know where our brother is.”
Wincing at the reminder that I’d failed my youngest brother, I leaned against the desk and bowed my head. “Is he okay?”
My middle brother’s tone softened. “He’s fine. He’s in Thailand, working at a bar on the beach and having the time of his life.”
Not sure Brodan was telling the truth, I didn’t respond.
Brodan exhaled heavily. “I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping in touch. I’ll do better. As for the brawl, it was just me letting off steam. That role in Dick’s movie was brutal, Lachlan. I had to go to some dark places.”
While I had been typecast in action thrillers and romantic comedy action movies, Brodan was a far better actor than me.
He’d started out in those kinds of roles, too, but had broken out into dark, psychological work.
The movie he referred to was one in which he played a serial killer.
Although proud of Brodan, I wasn’t sure I could watch a movie in which my wee brother played a psychopath. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, honest. It was just hard going. Partied a little too much after to let it go. This next movie is a rom-com. Script is a bit ridiculous, but it’s fun. A nice change of pace.”
Deciding my brother did sound better than the last time I’d spoken to him, I let it go. “Okay. As long as you’re all right. Your family misses you, though. Take a break after this movie, eh? Come home for a bit.”
“Yeah, yeah, definitely. I have to go. Director wants us back on set.”
“Where are you, by the way—”
The line went dead.
Sighing, I tucked my phone into my pocket.
For a long time, I’d felt more of a parent than a brother, but my dad had convinced me to take the break that was offered to me in Hollywood.
So I had gone, and a part of me was ashamed to admit that I’d enjoyed no longer bearing the responsibility of raising my siblings alongside a perpetually distracted father.
Then everything changed, and I was all they had.
It didn’t matter if there were very few years between us. I was the oldest, and it was my natural role to step in as patriarch.
Family mattered more to me than I could ever say, and there was a selfish part of me that just wanted everyone at Ardnoch, living our lives together. But if I couldn’t have that, then I wanted my family to be close despite physical distance.
Yet somehow, I seemed to have only pushed my two youngest brothers away.
Movement outside on the drive caught my attention, pulling me from my worries. At the sight of Mac walking alone, I cursed and hurried out of my room to find my friend.
It took me less than two minutes to race to where Mac was strolling as if he hadn’t a care in the goddamn world.
“You want to explain what you’re doing?”
Mac’s head whipped toward me.
I sucked in a breath.
My friend looked wrecked. Haggard and tired. And there was no hiding the turmoil roiling in his eyes.
“What happened?”
“Robyn. We talked.”
Guilt stabbed at me. Yesterday, after I’d kissed Robyn (something I was assiduously trying not to think about), I’d avoided my friend. I hadn’t wanted Mac to take one look at me and somehow know.
How selfish. “Oh Jesus, Mac. Did it go that badly?”
Mac started to walk again, slow but steady, staring across the estate, watching members play golf in the distance.
I waited.
Finally, Mac turned to me, his anguish palpable. “It was everything I was afraid of and more.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know if we can come back from it.
I’ve hurt her beyond bearing.” He glared at me fiercely.
“Never do that, Lachlan. Never break the heart of someone you love. It’ll hurt you more that it will ever hurt them.
Whatever Robyn’s feeling, I think I must feel it a million times worse. And that’s only right. I deserve it.”
“No one deserves that.”
“You weren’t there. You didn’t watch your daughter—a confident, bright woman—crumble into a wee girl and sob her fucking heart out because you broke it.
” Tears glistened in Mac’s eyes, making me feel doubly shit and awkward.
The last time I’d seen Mac this upset was over a decade ago. That had been about Robyn too.
I patted my friend’s shoulder and repeated, “I’m sorry.”
I found I didn’t at all like the thought of Robyn breaking down. Feeling terrible for them both, I admitted apologetically, “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Nothing to say,” Mac assured me. “I explained my part, my blame, but I took your advice and told her about the letters. I gave her the key to my cottage so she could collect them.”
“Good. That’s good, Mac. She’ll read those, and they’ll bring her a bit of peace. I’m certain you’ll be able to move on from this. Finally.”
“Aye, we’ll see. And if we do … well, how do I be a dad to a woman who is almost thirty? She doesn’t need me anymore.”
Mac hadn’t described a woman who didn’t need her father anymore. “I think we both know that’s not true. Robyn acts tough, but you’re obviously her Achilles’ heel. She still needs you to protect her soft spot.”
My friend stopped, turning his body toward me.
I followed suit so we faced one another.
Tension knit across my shoulders at the look in Mac’s eyes.
“Do I need to protect her from you?” he asked.
Fuck.
I shifted uncomfortably. “Mac, come on.”
“You think I don’t know what you look like when you want a woman? I’ve been with you for nearly two decades.”
“I can’t talk to you about this.”
“What? That you’re attracted to my daughter?”
“When you say it, it makes me sound like a perverted old man. She’s twenty-eight.”
Tense silence fell between us, and I forced myself to maintain eye contact. I felt like a little boy caught stealing sweets out of his mum’s chocolate cupboard. Except this was obviously much worse.
Finally, Mac sighed. “You can have anyone, Lachlan. I’m not going to tell you not to go there because I don’t feel I have the right to.
But think carefully before you do it. Because if it goes south and you hurt her and she needs me and wants me to pick a side …
I won’t let her down this time. I will choose my daughter. ”
Understanding dawned, and it was cold. A shiver skated down my neck despite the gentle warmth of the spring sun. I nodded. There was no way I would lose my friend over a woman. I was closer to Mac than I was to two of my siblings. An attraction wasn’t worth losing him.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed security.
“What are you doing?” Mac scowled.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone. Or did you forget you’re recovering from a knife attack?”
My friend rolled his eyes but didn’t argue as I asked Jock where Mac’s chaperone was. There was supposed to be security outside Mac’s room at all times, which I sternly reminded my employee.
Not too long later, it was Jock himself who came out to escort Mac.
“I feel like a bloody child,” Mac grumbled.
No, just someone I would do anything to protect. Someone I wouldn’t lose.