Chapter 7
REGAN
My excitement over getting the job waned as I began to worry I was acting irresponsibly toward Thane and his kids. So desperate for Robyn not to think I was an impulsive failure, I’d kept the truth from her. And the problem was, I needed her advice.
Staring at my packed luggage at the end of the fabulous bed in the fabulous guest suite I missed already, I shook off my nerves and wandered downstairs. Robyn had returned home two minutes ago and called up to tell me she’d brought takeout.
I walked into the main living space and found Robyn at the island with the Chinese food laid out for us.
“Hey, thanks,” I said as I slowly approached, not feeling very hungry.
“I promise this is the last of the takeout for now. I just need to go grocery shopping, and I didn’t want to cook.”
“I could have cooked.”
“Like I said, there’s very little in the house. Sit, sit, eat.”
I took the stool next to her and stared at the food.
“You okay?”
Turning to my sister, I shook my head. Exhaling nervously, I replied, “I wasn’t honest with you earlier, and now I’m not sure taking this job with Thane is a good idea.”
Robyn stopped eating and turned toward me on her stool. “Okay?”
“I guess … I am sure that it’s okay to take the job, but I want to be certain sure, and I trust your judgment.”
My sister waited patiently for me to continue.
“The thing is … the guy who got clingy and obsessive …”
Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah?”
“It was … it was worse than I let on.”
“How much worse?” I could hear the “somebody’s gonna die” tone in my sister’s voice and while it comforted me, it also made me ashamed. She already had so much on her plate with the upcoming Lucy Wainwright trial, I didn’t want to add to it. Yet I needed her advice. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
“I’m awful.” I slumped wearily. “You have all this shit going on with Lucy. You don’t need to know this.”
“Lucy’s trial won’t be until next year. We’re not postponing life for a year.
Now you have me worried, so tell me what’s going on,” she demanded.
“And for the record, I don’t care how much shit is going on in my life.
If my sister is in trouble or someone has hurt her, I want to be the first to know about it from now on. Do we understand each other?”
Usually when Robyn used her cop voice, as I called it, I teased her. However, this was definitely not a time for teasing. I heaved a sigh. “I want you to know before I tell you all this that it was the kick up the ass I needed, and I am done making impulsive decisions.”
Seeing her patience fade, I hurried on. “I was in Ho Chi Minh City last New Year’s Eve. With the group I’d met through social media.”
“I remember.” She glared at the reminder I’d taken our trip without her.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Robyn suddenly shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. You’ve apologized. I’m letting it go. It’s just a damn trip.”
I looked away, because we both knew it was more than that.
“We were three months in Europe first. All of us spent the two months after that working in Mykonos to save up enough cash to get to Asia. I bartended at a nightclub. Not exactly the stuff backpacking dreams are made of,” I said wryly.
“Anyway, minus two of the girls we originally set out with, we finally got to Thailand in November, and between learning our lesson in Europe and Southeast Asia being a little cheaper, we thought we could do three months there. I experienced things I never thought I would.” I smiled, a little proud of myself, despite the circumstances.
Robyn’s eyes warmed. “Like what?”
“A jungle trek in Cambodia.” I grinned at her surprised face. “I know, right? My legs looked so toned that entire trip.”
She laughed. “I bet.”
“Anyway.” I shrugged. “The whole time … like the eight months we’d all been traveling together, this one friend, Austin, had made it clear he wanted more with me.
Not in a creepy or clingy way. Not then.
” No, the fucker had totally blindsided me.
“But he wasn’t my type. There was zero chemistry there. ”
“So what happened?”
“Like I told you earlier, I regretted leaving you for months and felt stuck. Christmas came and went without you. Then it was New Year’s, and I was depressed as hell.
I missed you, I missed Mom and Dad, and Boston in the winter …
and I was lonely.” I reluctantly met her gaze.
“I was lonely, I was drunk, and I was impulsive.”
“You slept with Austin,” she surmised, no judgment in her voice or expression.
I nodded, my pulse increasing as I remembered the following days.
“The next morning he acted like we were together-together. At first, I didn’t know what to say because I felt so bad about it, and then when I told him it was just a one-night stand, it was like he couldn’t hear it.
A few nights later …” My heart raced at the memories.
“We were all out for the night at a party.
I decided not to drink. Like my instincts were subconsciously warning me to keep my faculties intact.
The party was at this apartment near where we were staying in District 3.
Austin kept getting in my face, and I finally lost it and yelled at him to leave me alone.
“One of the other guys, Liam, had enough and told Austin to back off, or he’d make him back off.
And Liam offered to walk me back to my room.
Nothing happened. Liam was with Desi, one of the other girls, and was just being a good guy.
He said Austin was a good guy, too, and he just had a crush, but he’d talk to him, and it would all be okay.
However, I was barely in my room five minutes when Austin picked the lock and broke in. ”
Fear glittered in Robyn’s eyes, and I hurried to assure her. “He didn’t hurt me. He just … wouldn’t let me out of the room. Kept trying to convince me we were meant to be together and how he’d kill himself if I didn’t feel the same.”
“Son of a bitch,” Robyn whispered.
“I knew it was manipulation. I was finally seeing who he really was.” Anger warred with the terror he’d awakened. “But I was so scared,” I admitted, “I didn’t know how he far he’d take it.”
“How far did he take it?”
“I was sharing a room with Desi’s best friend, Kylie.
When she couldn’t get in, Liam showed up and demanded Austin open the door.
Austin did and pretended like it was all good, like he hadn’t kept me trapped in there with him all night, refusing to let me out.
Everyone tried to brush it off as harmless, so I packed my stuff and used what money I had left to get a ticket home.
Except the cheapest flight I could get was to California.
So I stayed there for a few months, working a couple of server jobs in San Diego.
I was afraid to come home to you, like I said, but I felt stupid for sleeping with him.
And … he had my email and was on all my social media accounts. ”
“He harassed you?”
I nodded. “I blocked him on social media, but it was like a car crash. His emails kept coming in, and it was like I had to read them. I couldn’t look away.
I think I didn’t delete my email for so long because I hoped that eventually, the emails would stop and I’d know he’d gotten bored.
His emails were much of the same as what he’d said in that hotel room in Vietnam.
But one day in April, I got an email that made me sick to my stomach. ”
“What was in it?”
I stared unseeing at the takeout cartons. “It was sexual. He threatened to rape me.”
Robyn sucked in a breath, and I finally looked at her.
“That’s when I got angry. I decided enough was enough. I deleted my email account and packed up my stuff and called Dad to see if he could help me pay for a ticket to come home. Something I still owe him.” I sighed heavily, beyond irritated with myself.
“And when you got home, I wasn’t there.”
At the self-admonishing note in my sister’s voice, I glared at her. “Don’t do that. I’m the one who abandoned you, not the other way.”
“But I didn’t know you were going through this. That some asshole has been harassing you. Stalking you.”
I flinched at the word stalking considering what it meant to her.
“Not stalking. Ish. Not like … not like Lucy. When I got back to Boston, my head was still up my ass and I got a job at a bar where I met Maddox. You know, the hot, dangerous type.” I looked away, not wanting to think about my stupidity with that guy.
“He was an asshole, but he was a tough son of a bitch and I guess, moronically, I thought he would make me safe. Eventually, I pulled my head out of my ass, dumped him, got a job at a coffee place and a server gig at night. Anyway, I was gaining the courage to fix things between you and me.”
“But then all the stuff with Lucy happened.”
“Yeah. When Mom called to say you were home … that same day … Austin found me in Boston.”
“What?” She narrowed her eyes.
I gave her a sad smile. “I was planning on stopping by Mom and Dad’s after work, but Austin walked into the coffee shop that afternoon.
” Indignation churned in my gut. “He played it as if nothing had happened, like we were just two friends meeting again after an absence. I was stunned. I didn’t know what to do.
All I knew was that I didn’t want you to know how much I’d messed up. ”
“Regan …” She reached for my hand. “I’m sorry if I made you feel you were letting me down.”
I shrugged. “You didn’t. I was just always comparing myself to you and constantly coming up short.”
“Don’t. That’s not fair to either of us.”
I nodded, emotion thickening in my throat.
“What happened?”
“It was weird … he’d come into the coffee place, twice a week, same time each visit. But there was nothing more to it. He didn’t threaten or badger me. It weirded me out, but it went on like that for months, nothing happening, before I got on that flight to Scotland.”
Robyn pushed her half-eaten and now cold Chinese away. “Nothing at all?”