Chapter 11 #2
“They’re still babies,” I assured him as I covered up with sunscreen. I’d deliberately chosen a dress with a high back so I wouldn’t need anyone to help me out.
What I hadn’t been counting on was Thane whipping off his T-shirt.
But why wouldn’t he when he looked like that?
The man wasn’t muscled to the max like some male model. There was definition, yes, but if I didn’t know he worked out, I’d just assume he was naturally built that way. There was nothing overworked about his physique. He was … too sexy to be my boss.
Damn it.
Not knowing where to look, I turned to stare out at the water as he covered himself with sunblock. Apparently unable to control myself, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye just as he realized he’d made an error in judgment by whipping off his shirt.
He couldn’t cover his back in sunblock without help.
And I was a complete opportunist with no self-preservation whatsoever. “Need a hand?”
Thane made an exasperated sound. “If you don’t mind.”
My pulse increased as I took the sunblock and walked on my knees until I was behind him.
His broad back stretched before me, smooth, olive skin over healthy muscle. And there was a tattoo on his right shoulder that I’d never seen before—a Celtic knot symbol.
Taking a deep breath that I hoped Thane couldn’t hear, I slathered cream on my fingers and then pressed my palms to his strong back. For a moment, I didn’t move my hands. I was afraid if I did, I’d caress him.
Thane turned his head slightly, as if he sensed something was wrong. I shook myself out of crazy crush mode and smoothed the lotion into his skin. It was going well until I noted how tense his shoulders were.
“You need a massage,” I said, subconsciously kneading my fingers and thumbs into the too-tight muscle.
He grunted. “Fuck, that feels good. Had that knot there forever.”
Frowning, I rolled my thumb against the area I thought he meant. “Here?”
The sound of deep pleasure made me smirk, and I continued to knead at it.
“You’re good at this,” Thane offered after a few seconds, his voice rumbly and hoarse.
I wondered if he sounded like that after sex?
Tingling between my thighs at the very thought, I had to stop from pressing my breasts to his back.
I was losing my goddamn mind. Control yourself, woman!
I tried to focus on anything but the low groans falling from his lips. “What does the tattoo mean?”
Thane tensed for a moment and then relaxed into my touch again as he replied, “It’s Celtic … it’s the sigil for curse breaking.”
Surprised, my hands fell away from his shoulders and he turned, forcing me to move back.
“Not what you expected?” He rubbed a hand through his beard, looking almost boyishly embarrassed.
Not from Thane. Mr. Practical and Sensible.
Mac was the one filled with tales of magic and fairies.
I shook my head. “What does it mean to you?” After my many talks with Robyn over the past six weeks, she’d confessed much to me about her relationship with Lachlan.
One reason he’d held himself back from a genuine relationship with Robyn was that he was convinced the Adair men were cursed to lose the women they loved.
He’d been irrationally terrified (not so irrational, I guess, especially considering their circumstances) that Robyn would die if he loved her back.
Was Thane referring to the same family curse?
“Has Robyn told you much about our family?”
Wanting to be honest with him, I nodded. “She’s entrusted me with some personal things. I know about the Adair curse. Or so-called curse.”
“It’s something Lachlan came up with. Something that got into his head and almost ruined his chances with Robyn.
The stubborn bastard.” He said the insult with affection I’d seen openly expressed between the two brothers.
They were very close, like me and Robyn.
“He thinks it goes way, way back. Our great-great-grandfather lost his wife to influenza six months after they were wed. He married again, but how much he’d loved his first wife and never truly recovered from her death was a tale passed down through the generations.
His son lost his wife to childbirth and he never remarried.
Then my mother died in childbirth, and our father never got over it.
Our aunt Imogen stayed with us, helped raise us, but when she died, I think it finished our father. ”
“Then Fran died,” I whispered, emotion thickening my throat.
I still didn’t know how she’d passed. Robyn said it was up to Thane to entrust me with that information.
That no one was coming out to say if she died of cancer or in a car crash or something that happened every day made me think her death had a darker edge to it.
“Then Fran died,” Thane repeated grimly.
“Lachlan became convinced we were cursed, but I refused to believe that.” I could sense his penetrating stare through his dark sunglasses.
“I refuse to be controlled by some greater fate. So I got the tattoo as a reminder not to let myself go down that path.” He shrugged and scratched his beard.
“Seemed a good idea at the time. Now it just seems … silly, I suppose.”
“No, it doesn’t. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you don’t have control over your life—if we don’t have control, then we don’t have to hold ourselves responsible for our failings, or even our successes.
Some people use that as an easy way out.
Or, like Lachlan, they let fear control their choices.
I respect you haven’t allowed that to happen. ”
We shared a long look, the air electric between us. “You haven’t either,” he murmured. “You took control of your life, yes, when it felt like it was spiraling?”
“Exactly.” I hadn’t divulged anything to Thane about why I’d taken off on Robyn, and I found myself wanting him to know, to understand. If Robyn didn’t think I was a coward, I was sure Thane wouldn’t either. And I wanted him to know that I really did understand his tattoo. That I understood him.
And so, somewhat guarded from view thanks to the windbreak, my eyes on Eilidh playing in the distance, I confessed to Thane why I’d left Robyn after she got shot.
I didn’t go into detail about Austin—that was a conversation I hoped we’d never have to have—but I explained how I’d let my fear keep me away from her.
“I was ashamed of my cowardice,” I ended.
Thane leaned into me, his voice gruff. “You are not a coward. You were very young, and you didn’t know how to process your emotions.
Emotional intelligence takes time. Do you think I was emotionally mature and self-aware at twenty-two, twenty-three?
” he said. “You learned faster than many of us do, Regan.”
Grateful, I reached out without thinking and placed a hand on his bent knee. “Thank you for saying that.”
His large, strong hand covered mine, and goose bumps shot up my arm despite the lack of breeze. I inhaled sharply, and Thane’s fingers tightened on mine.
“Thane!” A shrill female voice jolted us out of the moment, and I glanced up to see Michelle, one of the thirsty moms, stalking toward us.
Sliding away from Thane, my heart raced.
I’d totally forgotten we were sitting in public, touching each other.
“Michelle.” Thane looked up at her. “How are you?”
She shook two ice-cream cones at us but put way more jiggle behind it than necessary so that her impressive boobs shook in her cute bikini top.
I hated her.
Side-eyeing Thane, I tried not to glare. I couldn’t tell where he was looking, but a possessive growl of jealousy sounded in my head. He better not be looking at her boobs.
“The ice-cream van arrived, and the kids wanted some. Connor’s dad watched them while I ran off to get them. I saw Lewis. He’s getting so big. And handsome. Just like his dad.”
Thane cleared his throat. “Aye, well …” He trailed off uncomfortably, making me laugh.
“It looks like your ice creams are melting there, Michelle,” I said.
She wore sunglasses, but I still knew she was glaring at me. “Regan. I didn’t see you there.”
I guffawed under my breath, but the way Thane turned slightly to look at me, a small smirk on his lips, told me he’d heard me.
At my non-answer, Michelle threw a strained smile at Thane. “I hope to see you at parents’ evening. Maybe even before then. We all miss you at the gates.”
“That’s kind.”
When Thane said no more, her smile wavered and she threw us a quick bye before hurrying off with the melting cones.
Silence fell between us for a second.
Then I burst out laughing.
Thane half laughed, half groaned as he leaned back on his hands.
“Could she be any more obvious?” I huffed.
“Every time.” He rubbed a hand over his beard. “It’s the one thing I don’t miss about working from home. Enduring those bloody pickups and drop-offs at the gates with those women.”
My jealousy eased. “You’re not interested in any of them? They’re attractive.”
Thane’s amusement fled. “No. They’re only interested in the Adair name and the money they think comes with it.”
Frowning, I shook my head. “I think you might have something to do with it too. I’m sure Lachlan’s already told you they’ve been giving me the stink eye for the past six weeks.”
His lips twitched. “He mentioned something.”
“They think I’m doing more than nannying for you,” I blurted.
Despite those damn sunglasses, I could feel him looking at me. My body reacted to his unintentional smoldering, and my dress was suddenly too tight across my breasts.
“Ignore them,” Thane finally replied. “They like to gossip.”
“I do ignore them,” I promised. Then, because I was a glutton for punishment, I asked, “So there’s no one you’re interested in dating?”
For a second I thought I might have crossed the boss/employee boundary, but Thane eventually answered, “I don’t date often. I don’t want lots of women coming in and out of the kids’ lives.”
What about sex? He was a virile, hot-as-hell man in his prime.