Chapter 11
ARRO
SEVERAL WEEKS AGO
Years ago, when Mac traveled more for estate business, he’d given me a spare key to his row house in the middle of the village in case there was an emergency while he was away.
His was a narrow, masculine home I’d sneakily made cozier by adding soft furnishings that still felt like Mac might have chosen them.
He’d always give me this tender look when we’d meet each other again after his return upon finding something new in his house.
He never complained, so I kept doing it.
It was Friday night, two days after my birthday dinner and the surprise gift of jewelry from Mac.
The diamond bracelet glittered on my wrist as I let myself into his house.
He’d still be at the estate just now, so I had time to get ready.
Butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach.
The bracelet had been a message. I just knew it.
Now that Mac realized Lachlan had no problem with Thane dating Robyn’s younger sister, we both knew that we could do this and keep our families intact.
The bracelet was Mac’s way of saying he understood that.
It had to be because he’d never given me anything so expensive or romantic before.
But it was clear he needed me to signal I still wanted him romantically.
And I was ready to give the signal all right. I was so done waiting around for the man I loved.
I kicked off my shoes and dumped my large bag on Mac’s couch and started pulling items from it.
Sexy high heels, check. Silk robe, check.
Wine, check. Once that was done, I grabbed matches out of a drawer in Mac’s tiny galley kitchen and returned to light the candles I’d placed around his fireplace.
He never lit them, but he also hadn’t gotten rid of them.
Their soft glow bounced around the room as I switched off all the lights except for a small table lamp in the corner that gave off an amber hue.
Next, I poured two glasses of wine and placed them on his coffee table.
Finally, I undressed, folding my clothes and tucking them into my bag.
I was totally naked in Mac’s house.
My breasts swelled, my nipples tightening against the cool air as I thought about Mac’s reaction when he came home.
Desire flushed my skin as I shrugged into my silk robe, slipped on the sexy shoes, and started the playlist of romantic music on my phone.
This was a surefire plan for getting Mac to give in to his feelings for me.
The bracelet told me he wanted to, but just in case he still had reservations, I wanted to make it as difficult as possible for him to say no.
Taking a deep breath, I sat down on the couch facing the door and waited, my knees bouncing with anticipation and nerves.
My life was about to change.
Our lives were about to change.
At the sound of his key turning in the lock, I untied my robe so it was ready to drop and crossed one leg over the other so he could see nothing but my naked legs and fuck-me shoes.
Blood whooshed in my ears, and my palms felt a little sweaty.
He was the only man who excited me like this.
Mac stepped inside, staring down at the floor as he did.
He looked up as he shut the door behind him, and he startled, frozen in wide-eyed shock. Something dark, most definitely lust, flickered in his expression, and his nostrils flared. He scanned the room, taking in the mood lighting and music, before returning to me.
That was my cue.
I stood up, my robe falling open, and shrugged my shoulders so that it fell to the floor at my feet.
Mac’s lips parted, and I heard the rough inhalation of breath as his gaze drifted down my naked body and moved back up again, lingering between my legs and then again at my breasts.
My belly squeezed at the unadulterated need in his expression, and I grew slick, ready for him.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice so hoarse, it was like he could barely get the words out.
Thinking I really needed no words to explain what was happening, I walked toward him, my hips moving with exaggerated sway because of the high heels, and Mac’s eyes followed their rhythmic movement. Then he was close enough I could smell his aftershave, could feel the heat of him.
I reached him, saw the bafflement in his gaze and ignored it, and pressed my body to his, thrilling at the erotic sensation of his fully clothed body against my nakedness. I reached for him, the diamond bracelet on my wrist sparkling in the soft candlelight.
Suddenly, however, my heart jumped unpleasantly as Mac gripped my forearms and pushed me away. He skirted around me, backing up into the living room.
“Mackennon—”
“What the fuck are you doing?” he bit out, not looking at me as he reached for my robe and threw it in my direction. “Put that on now.”
How could he still be frightened of this? “Mac … we don’t need to hide anymore. Look at Regan and Thane! Jesus, look at Lachlan. He went after Robyn, even though she’s your daughter. Why should we stay away from each other when my brothers get to be with who they want, everyone else be damned?”
He wouldn’t answer me, wouldn’t look at me. “Where are your clothes?” He searched the living room for them.
Furious because it was so much better than being hurt, I hurried over and grabbed hold of him, pressing myself to him.
“Stop it,” I demanded as he tensed against me, his eyes spearing through mine.
“Stop fighting this. I know you want me. I know you more than want me.” I moved to kiss him, but he jerked his face away.
Rejection burned, which only made me more determined to kiss him.
I knew if I kissed him, he’d be lost to it.
“For fuck’s sake!” Mac shoved me away from him so hard, I tripped over my heels and bounced down onto the couch.
Horrified, I could only stare up at him.
He looked equally horrified as his hands flexed into fists, as if he wanted to reach out.
But didn’t.
Humiliation crawled over me. “I don’t understand … the bracelet.” I waved my wrist at him. “I thought it meant—”
“What?” he snapped, looking pointedly away, the muscle in his jaw ticking with anger. “Meant what?”
I sat forward, searching the floor blindly for my clothes. Where had I put them?
“Meant what, Arro?”
“You’ve never given me a gift like that before. Something so romantic. I thought it was a sign that you wanted …”
“You admired the one I bought for Robyn’s twenty-ninth birthday so much that I made a note to buy one for your birthday too. It’s been such a shit year for everyone. I thought you deserved something nicer for this birthday.”
Oh my God.
I covered my face with my hands, my skin hot with mortification.
How had I totally forgotten that he’d bought Robyn the same bracelet?
Oh, fuck.
I looked up at him and studied the way he glowered at the fireplace, adamantly avoiding my gaze.
But the memory of that night when Eils and Lew stayed over for Christmas decorating filled my mind.
Followed by our kiss on New Year’s Eve. Not to mention all the times we’d flirted, including at the village anniversary ceilidh last year.
Damn it, the way his eyes had followed me all night was the reason Guy had exploded with jealousy and beat the hell out of me for it.
Newly determined, I stood up again, uncaring of my nakedness. This bullshit between us had to stop one way or another.
I pulled on his arm, forcing him to look at me.
“I’m not imagining this.” I slipped my hand under his shirt, feeling his stomach muscles flex beneath my touch.
Caressing him, slowly moving downward, I whispered, “We love each other, and touching the person you love, making love to the person you love, is allowed, Mackennon. So let me love you.”
His chest heaved with shallow breaths as my other hand slipped under his shirt and moved upward to explore his chest, my thumb rolling over his nipple. The fingertips of my other hand pushed beneath his underwear—
“Jesus Christ, Arro,” Mac bit out, this time retreating instead of shoving me away.
I moved to follow him, and he held up his hands like warding off an opponent.
“No means fucking no,” he snarled.
The words sliced through me, and I froze.
But he wasn’t done.
“I don’t feel that way about you.” He glowered over my shoulder. “End of fucking discussion. Now I need you to get dressed and leave.”
“You can’t really mean that,” I whispered, betrayal washing through me.
Mac’s eyes flared a second before his expression turned blank.
He’d never looked at me like that.
Like he was staring right through me.
His tone cold, he said, “This will never happen again. Get dressed and get out, and I’ll pretend like it never happened.”
Nausea rolled upward and I fought to keep it down as tears blinded me. I needed my clothes. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
I needed to cover the skin that now felt covered in dirt. Only a few minutes ago, I was powerful and sexy in my nakedness. Now it was as though someone had stripped me and tied me up outside for strangers to gawk at.
Guilt and dread, the cause of the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, carried me as I hurried to dress, forgoing underwear to get my clothes on as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry,” I muttered hollowly again as I moved toward his front door.
“Arro—”
I hurried out, slamming it behind me, and then I was running and crying, sobs racking my whole body as I sped toward my car parked around the corner, out of sight.
I didn’t know if anyone saw me.
I had one goal: to get as far away from Mackennon Galbraith as possible.
PRESENT DAY
I thought I’d cry retelling the scene to Ery, but I’d cried myself out weeks ago. That whole night I’d cried so much, I thought I might die from it.
“For a few days, I was so humiliated and wrecked by what happened, I could only feel guilt. For doing that to us.” I met Ery’s sad gaze and shrugged miserably.
“But I realized after those first few days that the only reason I thought he’d want that from me was because everything he’d done in this past year suggested he loved me, that he wanted me.
I didn’t imagine those kisses, his touch, the long phone calls and flirty texts. I didn’t imagine that, Ery.”
Tears finally burned my eyes, furious fucking tears. “Was I in the wrong that night? Yes. Maybe I was blinded by my desperation for him, and I tried to manipulate everything. I should’ve listened instead of trying to seduce him. For that, I’m sorry.
“But this wasn’t that simple or straightforward. It’s complicated between us, and I deserved better than to be treated like a stranger, to be humiliated and made to feel like … I can’t even describe how I felt at that moment. Like I wanted to disappear. I just wanted to disappear.”
The sob broke out between my lips, taking me aback.
“I hate him! I hate that I lost myself so much in wanting him. That I did that to him. And that he humiliated me for it. I feel sick every time I see him, like I want to crawl out of my skin, and I’m so angry, Ery.
” I sobbed harder, and she pulled me into her arms. I clawed at her, holding on as she rocked me and whispered soothing words against my hair.
“I’m angry at everything, and I’m so tired.
I’m so tired. I don’t want to be angry anymore. ”
Eredine’s arm tightened around me, and I could hear the tears in her voice as she promised me it was okay, that everything would be okay.
But I wasn’t sure it was a promise she could keep.