Chapter 3 Eredine
EREDINE
It bothered me how much it bothered me that Arran still hadn’t told me about Monroe, the stunning redhead he’d treated with such warmth in Flora’s two days ago. We’d jogged together yesterday morning before work, and still, nada, even though he’d promised me “later.”
It shouldn’t irritate me this much. However, I’d realized in that moment that while Arran was a giant flirt, I could tell the difference between sincerity and just him being charming.
And he’d been genuinely happy to see Monroe.
Of course, he would be happy—she was gorgeous.
But who was she to Arran? He’d said she was Brodan’s best friend, but it seemed like there was something more between her and Arran.
Something more than friendship, maybe.
I hated it bothered me, that Monroe’s arrival made me a little panicky. I didn’t understand it, and truthfully, I didn’t want to.
Yet I still was desperate to know who she was. I needed to know.
I just couldn’t face why.
Arran never raced ahead of me, even though his legs were longer and stronger.
He kept pace, our breathing almost in sync as the sand offered resistance during our run along Ardnoch Beach.
Gulls cried overhead and the early morning sun broke through the hazy mist, the rays of pale gold light shimmering above the North Sea.
A cool breeze rushed pleasantly across my hot skin.
I glanced at Arran. Concentration furrowed his brow as he ran, and I felt a little swoop in my belly as I studied his handsome, familiar profile.
Screw this.
I slowed to a stop, my hands resting on my hips as I drew in a breath.
Arran glanced over his shoulder and halted. He walked back toward me, breathing a little faster, heavier. He had this way of searching my face, and I couldn’t tell if he was memorizing me or looking for something hidden. “What’s up?”
Looking out toward the water, I shook my head. “Can we just walk for a bit?”
“Of course.”
Meeting his eyes again, I saw the questions within—he knew something was bugging me. Shit.
I walked with my eyes directed down to my feet, and Arran fell into step beside me, so close his arm brushed mine. Goose bumps rose on my skin in the wake of his touch. Surreptitiously, I tried to widen the gap between us.
“So …” I attempted to sound as casual as possible. “You never told me about Monroe.”
Feeling his stare, I forced myself to look at him. He appeared… uncertain.
“What is it?”
Arran sighed, running a hand over his hair, his biceps flexing with the movement and causing a rush of inconvenient tingles between my thighs.
I wrenched my gaze away.
“I, uh …” Arran’s eyes burned into my cheek. “I don’t know what I can tell you because I don’t know what happened between you and Brodan. If anything.”
Shocked, I stumbled to a stop and gaped at him. While I was pretty certain every member of the Adair family had noticed an attraction between Brodan and me, no one had mentioned it. Least of all Brodan.
Arran raised an eyebrow, but he had a hard glint in his eyes that I didn’t like. “Well?”
“Nothing happened between me and Brodan,” I answered honestly, surprised that I no longer felt bitter about that.
A year ago, I would have felt a complicated mix of relief that Brodan hadn’t pushed for more than quiet flirtation, and bitterness that he didn’t feel I was worth working a little harder for.
It wasn’t fair to Brodan that I resented him for it, especially when I had no intention of getting romantically involved with him.
“We’ve flirted in the past, but that’s it. ”
“You don’t have feelings for him?” Arran sounded gruff.
Something about that, and the way he looked at me, made my breath catch. My chest felt tight and my hands itched to touch him, and I didn’t understand myself or this attraction at all.
How could I have been attracted to Brodan for so many years and now find myself drawn even more powerfully to his brother? I felt guilty about it, like I’d led Brodan on, even though nothing happened between us—and even though nothing would ever happen between Arran and me either.
“Ery?” Arran persisted.
I didn’t want to lie.
Not to Arran.
“I was attracted to him.”
Arran frowned. “Was?”
I shrugged. “Was. And nothing happened.”
He seemed to let this sink in, and I wasn’t imagining when his shoulders dropped with relief. My stomach flipped at the thought of what that meant, and I wanted to be alone, so I didn’t have to deal with this complicated situation.
“So, if I tell you details about his romantic history, it won’t bother you?” Arran asked.
I’d seen Brodan pictured online with different women over the years, celebrity dates on his arm for glamorous events, so I knew he wasn’t a monk by any stretch. Once upon a time, it stung a little.
Now … worryingly … I didn’t feel jealous. Or possessive. Not like I’d felt when Arran picked up Monroe and hugged her like she was the best thing he’d seen in years.
That stung more than I wanted to acknowledge.
“Nope,” I answered sincerely.
He didn’t bother to hide the relief in his expression as he cracked that boyish smile that unleashed my butterflies.
He resumed strolling, and we fell into step as he flicked me another assessing look.
“Monroe is Brodan’s age. But since there’s only a year between me and Bro, as you know, he and I were close.
So close, in fact, that … um …” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish.
“The two of us were girl mad when we were kids. Started fucking around with the lassies really young because we looked older, so we could get older girls.”
I smirked, not at all surprised to hear those two were little Lotharios running around Ardnoch, breaking hearts.
“We even …” Arran sighed heavily. “We were selfish wee pricks and more than hedonistic. Ery, we shared girls.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“If I’d enjoyed a girl and she was up for it, I sent her Brodan’s way, and vice versa.”
Not liking that at all, I stayed silent.
“Arro tried to warn us that one day we’d hurt someone without meaning to, but we were so bloody sure of ourselves.”
Realization dawned, and I drew to a stop. “Monroe?”
Arran winced and stared out at the sea, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
“She was one of Brodan’s best friends since primary school.
He was her protector. Reading between the lines, she didn’t have the best family life, and Brodan wanted to make her feel like she had a family with us.
She was good friends with Arro, too, as they got older, even though there were a few years between them.
” He looked at me now. “Bro never made a move on her. He was always fucking around with other girls, so I never imagined there was anything more between them.”
Oh, Lordy. I knew what was coming.
“Brodan left for uni, but Monroe couldn’t afford to live at school, so she got into Inverness and commuted.
They still saw each other, we all did, but Bro was gone, and I was pissing Lachlan off by not going to college, kicking around Ardnoch, getting into trouble …
” Regret flashed in his eyes. “Bro was twenty, and, um, he started dating this one girl at uni, so I didn’t know …
” He bowed his head and sighed. “I should have known.”
“You slept with Monroe,” I guessed.
Arran lifted his head and nodded. “We were seeing more of each other because we were both in Ardnoch. She became one of my closest friends. Then one night we had a bit too much to drink, and we had sex.”
Jealousy bloomed hot and fierce and horrible inside me.
Damn.
Why him?
He was complicating everything.
“Brodan found out?” I asked quietly, forcing the words past my stifling possessiveness.
“Aye.” Arran nodded, his remorse evident in his bright eyes. “Timing couldn’t have been worse. He surprised us with a trip home, and we were in my room at the castle. He caught us mid act.”
“Oh, hell.” That couldn’t have been comfortable.
“And I honestly thought he was going to kill me.” Arran’s countenance shuttered, and I could tell he was back in the memory.
“I’ve never seen Brodan lose it like that.
Thane was always the hot-tempered one. Brodan, contrary to all the wild stories about him in the papers a few years back, was always the calm kid.
Aye, he was a Jack the lad, sleeping around, but he was never unpredictable or wild.
But when he saw me with Roe, he lost his fucking mind.
To this day”—Arran looked at me, his expression considering, searching almost—“he has never admitted that he was in love with her. But I think back and I see things I was too self-involved to notice then.”
The thought of Brodan loving someone else might have hurt months ago, but now I felt nothing but sadness for him.
I realized whatever feeling I’d had for Brodan, it was only a crush, an infatuation.
I hadn’t ever truly known the man. Not like I know Arran.
“If he loved her, why wouldn’t he have done something about it? ”
“Christ knows. But my brother had never lifted his hand to me, and he beat the utter crap out of me that night.”
“Whoa.” I couldn’t imagine Brodan doing that, but to be fair, a few years back, around about the same time Robyn came into our lives, we’d all been worried about him. Brodan had been photographed in the tabloids hitting a bouncer outside a club, behavior so unlike him.
“It devastated Roe. She felt guilty,” Arran continued. “She left a few weeks later, and I never saw her again, until this week.”
I nodded, but my curiosity got the better of me. “Did you love her?”
Shame flushed high on his cheeks. “No. I think it might have been forgivable if I had. But I was just an eighteen-year-old arsehole who could only think with his dick, and she was beautiful.”
Relief filled me. “Oh.”
“Do you think I should tell Brodan she’s back?”
“Yes,” I answered immediately. “If he comes to visit and bumps into her without a warning … don’t let that happen to him.” Something occurred to me. “Maybe he’ll come home if he knows she’s here.”
His eyes lit with amusement. “That wouldn’t bother you?”
No, it really wouldn’t. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about me, Arran, but I’m a secret romantic. How amazing would it be if your brother found happiness with his childhood best friend?”
Chuckling, Arran slid his arm around my shoulders and drew me into his side for an affectionate hug.
It felt beyond nice to be tucked into his body.
I wanted to nuzzle my face against his neck, but refrained.
“I love your heart, Ery, but I don’t think that’s how things would pan out.
It’s been eighteen years since they saw each other.
Whatever love Brodan had for Roe is probably long gone now. ”
I thought of Monroe and the panicked look on her face when she first saw Arran.
I suspected that for her, the past was still very much a part of her present.