Chapter 11 Arran
ARRAN
Krabi Province, Thailand
Four Years Ago
“I think I’m going to ask Maranda to marry me.” Colin grinned at me drunkenly as he staggered down the empty beach. The water lapped gently at the shore, the moonlight shimmering across the tranquil sea. It beckoned to my hot skin.
“Is that why you’re blootered?” I mocked, swaying as I changed direction toward the shore.
Colin glanced over his shoulder and then spun around to follow. “I’m not drunk!”
I snorted. “If you say so.”
“So, what do you think?”
“About?”
“Me marrying Maranda?”
I thought Maranda was a complicated lady.
Adventurous and laid-back in some respects, but possessive and cloying with Colin.
Our Thai friend Kasem owned a beach bar here, and we worked for him, even though it was illegal for foreigners to perform manual labor in Thailand.
Colin was originally from York and a bit of a wanderer like me.
We’d met in Bangkok two years ago and traveled to Krabi together when Kasem, whom I’d met in Germany many moons before, contacted me about he owned a bar now and could use some part-time help.
It turned into full time as we fell in love with the lifestyle.
If anyone asked, Colin and I owned shares in Kasem’s bar, and that was why we were allowed to work there.
We knew one day, our luck might run out, but it would be fun until then.
If Colin didn’t marry Maranda first.
I couldn’t imagine the woman who would make me want to settle down for good, but part of me hoped she existed somewhere.
But not a possessive lass like Maranda.
She’d arrived in Thailand from Dublin a year ago on a marine biology course, and she and Colin hit it off.
To each their own, I suppose. “If you love her, marry her,” I answered simply.
“Yeah, yeah, that’sh what I thinks,” he slurred.
“You’re definitely more pissed than me. How much did you drink?”
“As much as you, so that means you’re as drunk as me.”
“I’m not drunk, and I will prove it.”
“Oh, that breeze is good, mate. Hey, what are you doing?”
But I was already running into the ocean, trainers still on, mad fuck that I was. I laughed. “I bet I can hold my breath underwater for two minutes!” I yelled before I dove in. As I swam to the ocean bed, I could not see a bloody thing. Swimming along the bottom was amazing.
Just darkness and me.
Plant life brushed against me and fish swam by, and I felt connected to the world in a way I’d only experienced back home in Ardnoch.
To my utter shock, I missed the place with a longing I’d never expected.
Every trip home, however, was a reminder that I was someone different to my family than the man I believed I was.
I couldn’t get over the sense that they still saw me as the fuckup.
That was not who I wanted to be.
As the thought burned, I heard yelling above the surface.
How long had I been down here? It couldn’t have been that long, or I’d be dead.
Pushing upward, I broke the surface—
“ARRAN!”
Fuck. I spun around, trying to follow Colin’s panicked voice. I couldn’t see him.
“I’m all right!” I yelled as I pushed toward the shore. “Colin!”
Splashing sounded in the distance.
I turned in the water, fear shooting through me. Colin wouldn’t get in the water drunk. He was smarter than me, right?
But he would if he thought I was in trouble.
Shit.
He was definitely drunker than I was.
He probably had no concept of time right now or how long I’d actually been under.
“COLIN!” I roared, suddenly sober as I searched for any sign he was in the water.
I swam in the direction I thought I’d heard the splashing. Frantic, blood rushing in my ears, I strained to hear anything. Swimming under, I tried to see if he was in the water, but there was nothing. I kicked upward. “COLIN!”
Movement on the beach caught my eye, and I saw a couple hurrying toward the shore. “Are you okay?” the woman yelled.
“Have you seen my friend?” I called back. “I think he swam in, but he’s drunk.”
“There!” She pointed farther down the coastline. “We saw him run in shouting for someone.”
Why the fuck didn’t you go after him? I thought wrathfully as I powered through the water.
It was taking too long to find him.
Too long.
Every second counted.
Maybe he wasn’t as drunk as I thought.
Maybe he was just fooling around. Getting me back for staying under too long.
Colin was always pulling shit like this that wasn’t funny.
But then I saw him, bobbing to the surface.
Everything from that moment was a blur.
Dragging his heavy, limp body out of the water and onto the beach.
Using the CPR training I’d never used before.
But unlike the movies when the person inhales and chokes up water, Colin just laid there.
Heart silent in his chest.
“You have to stop. He’s gone, my friend, he’s gone.” Kasem’s familiar voice was in my ear, his arm around me holding me back from Colin.
There were people with us now.
I hadn’t noticed.
Kasem was here.
I was here.
But because I’d taken a midnight fucking dive while Colin was drunk, he wasn’t here.
He wasn’t here.