Chapter 28 Arran
ARRAN
Much to my relief, Eredine slept through the night. I worried that after everything she’d confessed, the darkness of her past would keep her awake. Instead, she curled up in my arms, and though she stirred a few times during the night, I managed to soothe her back to sleep.
Around six o’clock when we were usually up and preparing for our run, I called my brother, and quietly, so as not to wake Eredine, explained what had happened.
That she’d told me everything. I told him Ery wouldn’t be in to work that day and neither would I, and he understood.
He asked if she was okay, and I told him I’d make sure of it.
After we finished, I nestled next to the woman at my side who elicited feelings I honestly never thought myself capable of.
Not once did it cross my mind to be afraid of her baggage, to worry if I had the emotional capacity to support her.
I only cared about protecting her from any more hurt.
About making sure I was there for her in case opening that trunk had opened old wounds.
Exhausted, Ery slept right through until around eleven a.m. She woke groggy and in a panic that she’d missed work until I told her I’d called Lachlan and he’d given her the day off.
We made breakfast, talking softly, the shift between us noticeable.
It wasn’t a bad shift. The opposite. There was something deeper between us that hadn’t been there before.
Like we’d been attached by a string since the moment we met, and that string had pulled us closer and closer over the weeks until there was barely space between us.
“Do you feel like getting out of the house for a while?” I asked as we ate.
Eredine shook her head, her curls wild this morning. “Everywhere will be packed with tourists.”
It was true. Even the trails were busier during the summer months.
“Stay here, then?”
She considered that. “We could go for a drive up the coast.”
“A drive it is, then. I’ll need to stop at my place to get a change of clothes.”
“Why don’t you do that after breakfast while I shower?” Ery tugged on a curl. “I didn’t prep my hair last night, so I’ll need to figure out something to do with it.”
“Prep your hair?” I gave her a teasing smile.
“Hey”—she pointed a fork at me—“you have no idea the amount of product and energy that goes into caring for curls.”
“I do. I’ve watched you.” I grinned, feeling smug that I knew Ery’s haircare routine because I’d been there to see it in action. It was something no one else knew about her, an intimacy between just us. Among other things.
“So. You get ready while I get ready, yes?”
Unease shifted through me. “I’ll wait with you and then you can come with me, and we’ll set off from my place.”
She lifted her gaze to meet mine. “I’m okay, Arran. You can leave me alone for an hour. I won’t break down.”
“I’m not okay,” I told her honestly. “I need to be with you right now. As long as that’s all right with you.”
Ery reached across the dining table and covered my hand with hers. “That’s all right with me.”
We were about half an hour into our leisurely drive around the coast, the Range Rover’s AC blasting, our sunshades down, sunglasses on, as the humid, sunny weather of the past week continued.
It had been an unseasonably warm summer so far.
“Did you ever find out anything about your father once you moved to LA with your granny?” I asked.
If Eredine was startled by the question, she didn’t show it. “No. Kia and I asked, of course. But Granny said she didn’t know who he was, and we believed her. I often wondered if it was partly the cause of the rift between her and my mom.”
“Does it bother you? Not knowing?”
“It used to when we were younger. Especially because we literally had no leads on who he was. We used to wonder about him, what his job was, if he was successful or poor, or, or, or. The ors and what-ifs went on and on. All we knew was that he gave us our eyes. Granny and Mama both had beautiful dark brown eyes.”
I heard the smile in her voice when she said, “When I was thirteen, I bought a pair of dark brown contacts because I wanted eyes like Granny.” She laughed.
“But they were these cheap, nasty things, and they irritated my eyes so much, Granny ended up taking me to the eye doctor for drops. She told me that God had seen fit to give me hazel eyes, and every inch of my body was a gift I ought to be grateful for. She was always reminding us to be grateful for the blessings we had and not to mope over the things we didn’t. ”
“So that’s where you get your strength,” I mused.
Ery sighed. “I’m not as strong as she was. I’ve moped for eight years.”
“No, you haven’t,” I said sternly. “Ery, you’ve kept it hidden out of fear of Jefferson finding you. That’s not the same as moping over it. Considering what you’ve been through, you’re a goddamn miracle.” I glanced at her and saw the soft smile on her lips. I wanted to kiss her. Later.
Looking back at the road, I asked, “Did you have many relationships in LA?”
“Romantic, you mean?”
“Aye.”
“Hmm. I’ll tell you, if you tell me.”
I shot her another quick look and saw the teasing quirk at the corners of her mouth. Chuckling, I shook my head. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Oh, come on. I can’t be the first woman you’ve wanted a relationship with.”
Embarrassment crept up the back of my neck in a hot flush.
“Arran?”
“You’re the first woman I’ve wanted a relationship with,” I confessed.
She was silent a moment, and then, “There weren’t even longer affairs?”
“Aye, but do you really want to know about those?”
“I just … I want to know if there has been anyone who felt like more than a one-night stand in your life?”
I shrugged. “There were casual relationships while I was in Thailand and Australia, but they didn’t last longer than a month or two. The only one-night stand I’ve ever had where she meant more was Monroe, but not for romantic reasons,” I hurried to assure her. “She was my friend.”
“And Brodan’s.”
I felt that same remorseful ache anytime I thought of Roe and Brodan. “I used to call them Roe and Bro.” The memories made me smile. “Drove them crazy … though secretly, I think they liked it.”
“It’s cute.”
I shot her another look. “I told Brodan about you and me. I didn’t want him to be blindsided at the wedding.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t even matter to him.”
“It matters. He hung up on me, and things have been tense with us since.”
Ery sucked in a breath. “I … I can’t imagine that’s about me, Arran. Your brother …”
“My brother?”
“Well, he flirted with me a lot and was very attentive whenever he was home, but as soon as he left, I’d see him in photographs online with a woman on his arm. His feelings for me couldn’t have been deep.”
“That was my argument when I pursued you. That I wanted you more, and if he’d wanted you, he should have stayed.”
“Exactly.”
“But I’m worried that it just reminds him of what happened with Roe.”
“Does he know she’s back?”
“Aye, I told him. He couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.”
“Wow.”
I looked at her. “What?”
“Come on … it sounds to me like he’s still holding on to that. No one holds on to something that happened eighteen years ago unless it left a mark.”
“My thoughts exactly. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out when he gets home.”
“Do you think he’ll see her?”
“It’s a small village.” I smirked. “And stop trying to distract me. I asked about your relationships back in LA.” At her silence, I said, “Only if you want to. If it’s too much—”
“No, it’s not. All this time since we started seeing each other, I was terrified that if I opened the door to my past, somehow it would swallow me up in this black hole. And it’s the opposite, Arran. I feel lighter than I’ve felt in years. So thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that. The gratitude is mine.”
“Then we’ll both be grateful.”
“All right.” I smiled. “I can live with that.”
“As for relationships, I’ve had a few. You’re the first guy I ever propositioned for a one-night stand.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I should be honored or offended.”
“You shouldn’t be offended, you moron,” she teased. “I wanted you so badly, I asked for a one-night stand. Me. Miss Haven’t Had a Relationship in Eight Years.”
“Now I’m offended by the moron comment.”
“You are not. I’ve said worse to you before we were even friends, and you weren’t offended in the least. In fact, I think it turned you on.”
Shoulders shaking with laughter, I admitted, “You’re absolutely right.”
“Sick man.” Ery chuckled.
“Nah, just high on you.”
“Charmer.”
“Stop distracting me, woman, and tell me about these men who came before me.”
“You’re really not bothered by it?”
My hands tightened on the wheel. “I suppose not because they’re in your past, but I guess it’ll depend on what you share.”
“Okay, well, I had a first love, which I think differs from other kinds of love. It was almost like puppy love. His name was Michael. We were fourteen when we started dating—high school sweethearts. He was on the football team and won a scholarship. He was quiet, but not in a shy way. He was beautiful. And kind. He didn’t pressure me for sex, and somehow that made me want him more, so he was my first. I got lucky with Michael.
Kia had one bad relationship after another, but Michael was one of the good ones. I think even Kia had a crush on him.”
Something a lot like jealousy gripped me at the affectionate tone when she spoke of this guy. “What happened?”
“We broke up when he went off to college.”
“That was it?”
“That was it. And then I had a few relationships over the years, but none stuck and none were memorable, to be honest. I started seeing a mechanic a few months before my sister’s death. I’d taken my beat-up car to his garage, and Nick was very charming. Kind of like you, actually.”
There was that jealousy again. “Like me?”
“You know, overtly flirtatious, gregarious, the opposite of me.”
“Right.”
“I thought there might be something there. Potential. And while sex had been okay for me in the past, it was good with him.”
Yeah, maybe I couldn’t handle this. I grunted in response.
“Arran.” Ery slid her hand across my thigh and squeezed.
I looked over at her, and she’d shoved her sunglasses into her hair so I could see the warmth in her beautiful eyes.
Unfortunately, the road called my gaze away from hers.
“That night with you, and every night since, has been the best sex of my life. And what I felt for Nick doesn’t come close to what I feel for you. ”
The knot inside me relaxed, and I shot her a wry smile. “Guess I get jealous too.”
“I don’t think either of us needs to be jealous anymore, do you?”
“No,” I replied hoarsely. “I only want you.”
“And I only want you.”
I covered her hand on my thigh and threaded our fingers together. For a while, we drove like that, in perfect, comfortable silence, finally certain of each other.