Chapter 34 Arran
ARRAN
It was easier to merely concentrate on the morning breeze caressing my sweat-slickened skin. To watch the golden sand compact under my feet, feeling the rhythmic, gentle rush of the water to shore, inhale the salt air, and watch the sun break through the clouds in rays of soft light.
Dark green hills loomed in the distance where the earth jutted into the sea, reminding me I was running away from Ardnoch.
That thought cut through my intense focus on the run and my surroundings.
Ery.
I glanced to my side and noted she was nowhere to be seen. Panicked, and I stumbled, glancing over my shoulder. Relief replaced the panic as I saw her about a hundred yards behind.
Uneasiness shifted through me. I wanted to keep running, but I forced myself to stand still, to wait for her to catch up.
Then I noted the time on my watch and realized we needed to head back, anyway.
Jogging to meet her, I couldn’t look at her face for too long.
Behind her, a dog ran into the water. Their owner was a dark dot farther down the beach toward the caravan park. This place would be busy by midday.
“You just took off,” Ery said as we met.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “We need to get back.” Before she could ask any questions, I ran. Guilt stopped me from outpacing her, and we kept stride as we headed back down the beach toward the car park.
I could feel her looking at me, but I didn’t want to think about it.
I didn’t want to think about the fact that I was staying with her at her lodge because she’d received a new gift every day since I got the email mentioning her.
All the gifts came with cards that insinuated the person would see her soon.
Ery was handling it better than I might have imagined, considering her traumatic past. But she was quiet and despondent, her fear hidden behind the forced smiles.
All of it because of me.
I’d brought this shit back into her life.
I’d blithely ignored that I had famous brothers and that people took photographs of me.
It wasn’t the first time. I’d had peace from it in Thailand, but after Lachlan became a big action star, Arro and I ended up in magazines and online articles too.
It didn’t happen often, but it happened.
And I’d come home and acted like that stuff didn’t touch me, even knowing there was an arsehole journalist kicking around the village.
So focused on being a fucking caveman and making sure everyone knew Eredine was mine, I’d kissed and held her in public without thinking of the consequences.
Without thinking about her need to stay out of the limelight, her need for privacy.
Just like when I ran into the water in Thailand four years ago because all I was thinking about was myself and what I wanted in that moment. And Colin died from my selfishness.
Now I’d put Ery in danger too.
I’d break if anything happened to her. And if anything happened to her because of me, that was the kind of break I’d never come back from.
We still had no answers to who was behind this.
The latest email tracked to the same internet café in Bordeaux, so Nylah was trying to access their CCTV.
She would send me footage from the exact moment the email was sent so I could check to see if I recognized anyone. Until then, we were in the dark.
Before I knew it, we were running up dunes and back into the beach car park. I kicked my toes against one of the SUV’s tires to loosen the sand from my running shoes and was aware of Eredine on the passenger side doing the same.
We got into the car, and as I switched on the engine, she touched my forearm.
I stared at her elegant hand instead of her beautiful face.
“Arran … what’s going on?” she asked quietly, worry a tremor in her voice.
Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I couldn’t muster up a fake smile and a “nothing” for her.
All I wanted to do was to protect her from whoever was harassing me.
And that meant getting her out of the line of fire.
EREDINE
My nerves were shot as I dressed for work. Arran had been distant all week, but this morning was worse. He’d run ahead of me on the beach, as if he’d forgotten I was there. And then he’d refused to talk in the car on the way back. I was beginning to feel like a ghost, and I was losing my patience.
Anger and frustration bubbled up, mostly because anger was easier than fear. Frankly, I was terrified I was losing Arran. I didn’t know why, but I knew when someone was pulling away from me.
“You ready?” He strode into the bedroom.
He’d taken to not quite looking at me, and that was pissing me off too.
I scowled, snatched up my cell, and shoved past him. I heard him follow as I marched into the living room and grabbed my favorite pair of work sneakers off the shoe rack by the door.
“Ery?”
Afraid I was seconds from exploding, I ignored him. Instead, I pulled on my shoes and then grabbed my purse from the dining table.
“Ery?” Arran came into my line of sight.
I glowered up at him as he frowned down at me. “Oh, so now you want to talk? Now you want to make eye contact?”
Arran blanched and looked away.
Fear made my pulse race. “What is going on? You’ve barely said a word to me all week, locked up inside your own head.”
“You’ve been quiet too.”
“But not in the shutting-you-out kind of way. I’m not the one who tenses every time you touch me.” It was true. The last few days, he’d pulled away from my touch, and I hated how much that hurt.
Scrubbing a hand down his face, he sighed, like this entire conversation was trying his patience. “Can we talk about this after work?”
“No, I want to talk about it right now. What the hell is going on with you?”
Finally, he looked me in the eye.
But his expression made me feel cold.
A lot roiled in his gaze, but the guilt scared me. I’d had boyfriends wear that look right before they broke things off.
I felt sick.
“I think …” The muscle in his jaw ticked as he hesitated. But then, “I think we should put some distance between us. Just while all this is going on. That way, whoever this is who’s harassing me will think you mean nothing to me anymore. You’ll be safe.”
He couldn’t be serious. “You want to break up with me … to save me?”
“Exactly.”
“And what happens when we find this person and it’s all over? Do we just get back together and pretend like it never happened?”
Arran stared grimly at me but didn’t respond.
Oh.
A horrible pain cut through me, flaring into a burn below my breastbone. I wanted to rub the spot, to ease the sensation. But I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much this hurt.
The whole stalker thing was just an excuse to break up.
He wasn’t man enough to tell me that this was permanent.
I wanted to ask why. Why really?
Had he grown bored already?
Was he really just a player, after all, not cut out to be someone’s boyfriend?
“I want you to move in with Robyn and Lachlan or Mac and Arro. Just until we figure out this situation. I don’t want you alone here.”
I was alone here. He’d made certain of that. And I stupidly allowed myself to depend on him. I’d let myself get used to his presence.
“I’ve already stayed with Robyn and Lachlan because of this stuff in the past, and I won’t be a burden to them again.”
“You’re not a burden,” Arran insisted, aggravated.
Fuck him and his aggravation. “I’m tired of running. Of hiding. I’m staying here. If you want to use this as a pathetic excuse to get out of this relationship, you do that. But I’m going to continue to live my life.”
His nostrils flared. “Pathetic excuse? That’s not what this is. I’m trying to protect you. Even if that means protecting you from me.”
What did that mean? I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t even know what’s going on in your head right now. Do you want to clue me in?”
He shrugged. “I just told you.”
“Okay. Well, that’s bullshit, and I thought we were past this. If you want to leave, Arran, leave. But never come back.”
I thought something like anxiety flashed across his face. “Ery—”
“You heard me.” I grabbed my purse and keys and strode across the room, my heart hammering. “Stay. Or get your stuff together and get out of my life. For good.” I slammed the door behind me and hurried down the porch to my car.
I peeled out like I was in a car chase, and it was only once I was on the road that I let the tears fall.
They fell so hard, I had to pull over.