Chapter 23 Monroe #2
“I’m definitely not squashed.” He pressed his leg against mine under the table. “I’m just right.”
“You’re no’ right in the head, more like it,” I replied.
“I think I am for the first time in years.”
I sighed. “What are you doing here?”
“Joining you for brunch.”
“No one invited you.”
“I did.”
“That doesn’t count.”
He smirked. “I just assumed you were too shy to invite me.”
“I have never been shy around you, Brodan Adair.”
“Oh, don’t I know it.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
I was going to kill him. “So … this is the way you’ve chosen to die?”
He smiled so big it almost broke me. “I’d prefer to be under you in that moment, but a man takes what he can get.”
“Brodan!” I shoved him, glancing around to make sure no one beyond our table heard him.
Sloane choked on her laughter as Brodan threw his head back and let his go. It drew stares, and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. “You’re making a scene.”
His laughter quietened as he searched my face. “I’ll make you laugh again someday, Sunset.”
Pain lashed through me, and his eyes darkened as if he saw it.
Sloane cleared her throat as she pushed back from the table.
“Actually, I just remembered I have things to do, so I really should be going. Walker.” She looked down at him.
“Would you walk me out? I baked some cupcakes for Regan and Thane since they’ve been so welcoming, and I have extra. They’re yours if you want them.”
If Walker was a man that pounced on an excuse to leave a situation, I think he would have. Instead, he nodded casually and stood slowly, stepping back to allow Sloane past him.
“Sloane—” I gave her a pleading look.
She smiled apologetically. “We’ll catch up later. I’ll call you.”
I nodded, trying to not be sullen about her departure.
“Walk.” Brodan said his friend’s name as a goodbye.
“Brodan.” Walker smacked him so hard on the shoulder, Brodan flinched. I decided I really liked Walker Ironside. “Monroe.”
“Bye.” I gave him a weary wave.
Then they were gone.
And everyone in the café was trying not to look at us … and failing.
“You can go too,” I said under my breath to Brodan.
But Flora approached with a tray of food. “I take it this is for you two now?”
“We can’t waste Flora’s efforts,” Brodan answered with faux innocence.
I smiled sweetly. “I hope you choke on a sandwich.”
Flora choked on a snort as she laid the plates out. She winked at me. “Enjoy.”
Staring at Brodan, I huffed, “If you’re staying to eat, you can move.”
He smirked. “Is my proximity too much of a temptation?”
“To stick this butter knife in your thigh? Aye. Far too tempting.”
“I walked into that one,” he murmured congenially, but he got up to take Sloane’s empty chair.
I could breathe a little now that I wasn’t enveloped in his heat and aftershave. “What are you really doing here, Brodan?”
His expression turned serious. “I wanted to spend time with you, and I knew that you wouldn’t agree to it.”
“So, you forced it?”
“I … I’m … fuck.” He sank back in his chair, scrubbing his hands down his face. “I’m sorry.” He pushed up from the table. “I’ll leave.”
“Sit down.” I sighed in exasperation. I shouldn’t have capitulated, but he looked so much like that lost wee boy I still held in my affections.
He sat down so quickly it was almost comical. “I promise I won’t do it again.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Brodan Adair.”
“I love when you second name me,” he teased. “It does things to me.”
“Don’t flirt with me either.” I pointed my fork at him in warning.
Brodan shook his head. “No, can’t promise that.”
I rolled my eyes and dug into a sandwich so I didn’t have to deal with him for a few seconds. Then, still feeling as if we had an audience, it reminded me to ask, “No calls from Hollywood, then? No film sets awaiting your arrival?”
He swallowed his bite of pastry. “I think I’m done with acting.”
My breath caught, but I didn’t let him see this news affected me. “Think?”
He shrugged. “I used to see this therapist.”
“You mentioned that.” It still shocked me, but I admired him for it. “I’m glad.”
“Aye, well, we talked about how acting was my escape. I wanted to get lost in other people’s lives because it was easier to deal with than my own. Especially after my dad died.”
I’d heard from my mum about Stuart Adair’s death. At the time, I grieved him, and I grieved for his children, for Brodan. I’d wanted to go to Brodan. To stand at his side for the funeral, but I’d believed then that I wouldn’t be welcome. Now I knew differently.
“I’m so sorry about your dad, Brodan. I’m sorry I didn’t come to his funeral. I regret it.”
Brodan reached across the table and curled his hand over mine.
“I understand. And thank you.” He released me and sat back in his chair.
“I was so angry when he died because I felt like I hadn’t gotten a chance to really know him.
That I’d pushed him away as much as he’d pushed us away.
We had a complicated relationship, and it left me with lots of regrets.
So I buried myself in acting. I realize how true that is now.
How empty I was in between takes. I don’t want that to be my life, Roe.
To turn into my father and be so crippled by fear and grief that he held the people who loved him at arm’s length.
I want to come home. I want to see my nieces and nephews grow up.
Maybe,” he paused for a second, “maybe have kids of my own.”
My gut twisted at that. “Oh.”
“So, no, I’m not going back to acting. But I still like the world of storytelling, you know. I’ve, uh, I’ve been working on a script.”
Surprise suffused me. “Really?”
Brodan nodded, seeming almost shy. “I don’t know if it’s any good. I actually … I wondered if you might read it.”
“Me?” I pressed a hand to my chest. Surely, he was mistaken. “Brodan, what do I know about scriptwriting?”
“You read more books than anyone I know and I come from a family of readers. But I don’t want their opinion as much as I want yours. You know a good story. That’s all I want to know. I want your honest opinion, if you think it’s a good story. I trust you.”
Well … damn it.
“Brodan—”
“Please.”
Sighing, I nodded. “Okay. I’ll read it for you.”
“Great.” He smiled. “I’ll come over to your place with it. I’ll bring wine. The good stuff.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You opportunistic bastard.”
Brodan chuckled and shrugged unapologetically.
“You’ll bring it to school next Thursday. I’ll read it in my own time, and I’ll get back to you. Now shut up and eat some of these sandwiches.”
“I like this bossy side of you.” His gaze smoldered. “I’d quite like to see how it translates in the bedroom.”
I stiffened, arming myself against his flirty, cocky charm. Not meeting his eyes, I said quietly, “The last time you were in my bedroom, you humiliated me, so you’ll never be back there again.”
Once more, Brodan reached across the table to curl his hand around my wrist. Tortured sorrow darkened his countenance.
“If I could take back those words, I would. But know that I did not intend them to humiliate you. I said them to push you away because I was so scared of how fucking amazing it was to be with you.” His grip tightened.
“I would never lie about this, Monroe. And I would never say these words to win you over. I’m saying these words because they’re the truth.
Until I ruined it … that night with you was the best night of my life, second only to our afternoon in the castle turret. ”
Heat flushed over my skin as his words caused a deep flip low in my belly.
I squeezed my legs together under the table and yanked my wrist out of his hold.
All the outrageously beautiful and experienced women he’d been with, women from all over the world, and he expected me to believe that our rushed fuck in the caravan and inexperienced fondling in the turret were the best of his life?
“Talk to me, Sunset.”
I looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t believe you. And I want you to stop. It hurts me, Brodan.”
“Why don’t you believe me?” he almost pleaded. “Monroe?”
“Because,” I hissed, leaning over the table.
“I’ve watched on, with the rest of the world, as you moved from one extraordinary woman to another, and you expect me to believe that I’m special.
” I snorted and pushed back from the table.
“The only thing special about me, Brodan, is I’m the first woman to say no to you.
I’m a challenge, and you’ll grow bored. Like always.
” I stood and yanked my wallet out of my bag, fumbling for some notes.
I threw them on the table as he glowered up at me. “Just leave me alone.”
I hurried out of the café, no longer caring if I stirred up a hornet’s nest of gossip, and strode quickly toward the cottage.
“Roe!” Brodan called after me.
Fuck!
I whirled around. “Do you not understand English?”
Determination and anger etched his features as he marched toward me and only drew to a stop when inches separated us. “Aye, I’ve been with a lot of women. And every single one of those encounters was empty because I wanted nothing more from them than the quick relief of sex.”
Jealousy soured my gut. “Brodan—”
“I don’t know what makes someone the person who fits you.” He shrugged in exasperation. “But you have been that person since I was a wee boy. First as my best friend.”
“Brodan—”
“Then …” He breathed hard, like he’d been running.
“Then one day, we were walking along the beach, and you turned to smile at something I said, and I felt your smile here.” He placed a fist to his lower belly.
“You gave me butterflies. I’d never had butterflies in my fucking life.
” Brodan stepped closer. “We were fifteen, and it had been warm that morning so you were wearing this blue strappy summer dress. But the weather changed as we walked on the beach. The wind kept whipping your hair and dress. You weren’t wearing a bra, and your dress was molded to every inch of you …
and I wanted to lay you down on the beach and make love to you. ”
Shocked, I gaped at him. I remembered that afternoon. Brodan had gotten cool and distant with me, and it was so unlike him, I’d worried.
“Ever since that day, I couldn’t separate loving you from wanting you.
And I knew that if I gave into those feelings, you would become everything to me.
Because you just fit, Roe. You fit me. I refuse to be that scared wee boy who didn’t realize what you meant to me …
you were already everything to me. You always will be.
Eighteen years apart just numbed the empty ache you left behind.
But now you’re here, in front of me, and I know that you’re my missing piece.
No one will ever fit me like you do. No one. ”
My tears spilled free before I could stop them.
Brodan reached out to cup my face and brush the salty drops with his thumbs. He bent to rest his forehead on mine. “One day you’ll believe me,” he promised before pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead.
Then he was gone, walking back down the street toward Flora’s.
Leaving me there in a confused state of a million emotions.