Chapter 28
MONROE
“You’re sure your family doesn’t mind me crashing Christmas Day?” I asked, feeling more nervous about approaching Thane and Regan’s home than I had the afternoon of the Christmas fair.
Christmas Day was for family. Mum and I hadn’t spent Christmas Day together in well over a decade, so there was really no change in that department.
I’d always called her, even though I’d end up feeling like shit after the call.
No, over the years, I’d spent Christmas Day with friends and other people’s families.
When someone heard you were spending it alone, the offers poured in.
It was the season of generosity, after all.
However, I’d spent my thirties alone at Christmas. After Steven, I’d moved out of Glasgow and started over in Renfrewshire. I felt ashamed to tell my new work colleagues and friends that I was spending Christmas alone, so I’d lie about going home.
This would be my first Christmas with a family again. A tantalizing tease of what could be.
“Of course, they don’t,” Brodan assured me as we turned down the country lane toward the two homes that belonged to his eldest brothers. “Sloane, Callie, and Walker will be there too.”
I nodded in relief at the reminder and then studied the house as we pulled in behind a line of cars cluttering the driveway. In the covered entrance of Thane and Regan’s was a large Christmas tree, accompanied by a massive lit wreath on the door. It looked beautiful and warm and inviting.
“I’ve spent every Christmas alone since I was thirty,” I confessed suddenly.
Brodan switched off the engine, not saying a word.
Afraid of what he might think of that, I reluctantly dragged my eyes off the front entrance and looked at him. Brodan stared at me, half anguish, half guilt.
“Don’t do that,” I practically whispered. “I didn’t have to be alone, Brodan. I made choices that led me to that too.”
“If you’d had a family worthy of you, you’d have never spent a Christmas alone.
” He reached over and caressed my cheek.
“I want to give you this”—he gestured to the house—“for the rest of your life … but if you decide you don’t want that, promise me …
” Pain flared in his eyes. “Promise me you’ll find it with someone else.
Because I’d rather suffer through the agony of knowing you love someone else than ever suffer the pain of knowing you’re out in the world alone.
You deserve so much more than that, Monroe. ”
A sob escaped before I could stop it, and the fear I’d held deep within me burst forth. “What if I don’t deserve you?”
Brodan’s eyes widened, shock at my question evident. Confusion too. He opened his mouth to reply, but we both jumped at a rattle against the driver’s-side window. I’d been so lost in our moment, I hadn’t even noticed Regan come out of the house.
Cursing under his breath, Brodan hit a button, and the window lowered to reveal Regan and her beaming, dimpled smile. “Merry Christmas, you guys! Can you move—” She cut off at the sight of me wiping my eyes, and her smile fell. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”
“No.” I gave her a fake smile. “Merry Christmas, Regan. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Of course.” Her worried gaze moved to Brodan. “You okay?”
“Aye. Merry Christmas. What was it you needed?”
“Never mind. Arro and Mac might not even drive, so it’s a possible parking nonissue. Come on in.”
I unclipped my seat belt, refusing to meet Brodan’s probing stare.
“Better not forget the presents in the back.” I jumped out of the SUV and opened the rear passenger door.
Thankfully, my invitation came early enough for me to buy a little something for everyone.
I especially wanted to give Arro and Mac a wee thank-you gift for letting me stay in the cottage.
Regan hurried up the front porch but waited for us to follow. Brodan grabbed his bags of gifts for everyone and rounded the car. His eyes flicked to his sister-in-law before coming back to me. “Don’t think this discussion is over,” he murmured.
Wonderful.
“Come in, come in.” Regan waved us into the house, and for the first time, I noticed she wore a reindeer headband, Christmas baubles hanging from her ears, and her dress was red and green. She made me smile.
Until we stepped inside and she said, “Ooh, stop,” as she closed the door behind us.
Brodan and I did as she asked, me assuming she wanted us to remove our shoes. The sound of laughter and chatter accompanied by low-level Christmas music and the scent of delicious cooking drifted toward us. Anticipation fluttered in my belly, and I was relieved for its distraction.
Regan ruined my moment by grinning devilishly. She pointed a finger skyward. “No couple may pass beneath the mistletoe. It’s an entry requirement.”
My pulse skittered. Brodan, to my surprise, had been a very, very good boy this year.
He was sticking to the requirements of the bet.
Sometimes it felt like he had more self-control than me, especially when he whispered dirty nothings in my ear.
That meant our lips had not touched in weeks.
And after my vulnerable moment in his car, I wasn’t sure I wanted this to be the time it happened.
“Our bet,” I murmured.
He shrugged, eyes glittering with amusement. “I want my Christmas dinner, so I reckon we call a temporary ceasefire.”
“Fine.” I drew up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his briefly before settling back down. “There.”
Regan pouted with disappointment. Voyeur. “That wasn’t a kiss. You’re disrespecting the mistletoe.”
Brodan searched my face. Whatever he found there made him ask Regan quietly, “Let’s let her off the hook, sis, eh?”
“Fine. You know I put that mistletoe there, so Thane is forced to kiss me before he leaves for work every day.” She grinned cheekily.
“Somehow I doubt my brother feels forced,” Brodan observed, taking the thought right out of my head.
“No, he does not,” Regan agreed. “This way.” She sashayed ahead of us, leading us into the main living space. The room was decorated beautifully, a large tree in the far corner surrounded by gifts the kids had already opened and others that remained wrapped.
The room was a flurry of activity. Eredine was in the kitchen, a glass of wine in hand, and Arran sat at the island.
Lewis sat with Thane on the couch, looking over what I assumed was a shiny new laptop.
Eilidh and Callie huddled together in the large armchair, giggling over whatever they were doing on a tablet computer.
They were both dressed in the cutest Christmas dresses, Callie in green, Eilidh in red, and looked like a perfect postcard.
Searching for Callie’s mum, I found Sloane seated next to Robyn and Baby Vivien, while Walker stood chatting with Lachlan near the dining table.
The only folks missing were Arro, Mac, and Baby Skye.
“Look who’s arrived, everyone!” Regan announced.
Eyes flew toward us, and smiles and cries of “Merry Christmas” met our ears.
Regan gestured for us to put down our bags, and Arran was the first to approach to hug us.
With the moment in the car still on my mind, I tried not to tense as Arran hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Roe. So happy you’re here. ”
I wanted to look at Brodan. To see his expression. I wanted … to know. But the coward I was, I kept my attention fixed on Arran and replied, “Merry Christmas. Happy to be here.”
Eredine rounded the counter, smiling brightly as she hugged Brodan, then me. We exchanged hugs and handshakes all around (and received a nod of greeting from Walker, whom I wasn’t sure knew how to crack a smile) before we shrugged out of our jackets and settled in.
Arro, Mac, and Skye arrived not long later, and then we were a full house. Brodan and I offered to help in the kitchen, but Regan and Eredine assured us they had it under control. They’d yell if they needed us.
After a glass of wine, I relaxed a bit, chatting away with Sloane and Robyn, and while Brodan had gotten involved with whatever Thane and Lewis were up to, I could feel his inquisitive eyes on me now and then.
“So, your parents couldn’t come to Scotland for the holidays?” Robyn asked Sloane after Lachlan came over to take Vivien. He and Mac had disappeared to put the girls down upstairs.
Sloane looked uncomfortable as her gaze flew to Callie, and she shook her head. “We’re on our own.”
Robyn, being a smart cookie, left it at that. “Yeah, well, sometimes I wish we were on our own.”
Regan, she of the bat ears, called over, “Amen to that!”
Her sister snorted, and I asked, “You don’t get along with your parents?” Maybe we had that in common.
“Yes, and no. Regan’s dad, my stepdad, is the best. But our mother is …”
“The Queen of Passive Aggression,” Regan supplied helpfully.
My lips twitched as Robyn grimaced. “She’s not wrong.
Mom wanted us to come out to Boston this year for Christmas since they’ve been flying here.
But it was just the worst year to ask us to do that because of Vivien.
And now Regan and I have been treated to not-so-subtle guilt-tripping for the last few months, and she refused to fly here.
Even though we offered to pay for it. My stepdad won’t leave my mom alone, so Merry Effing Christmas. ”
Her words made me wince. “I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to have a difficult mother.”
Sympathy filled Robyn’s expression. “Well … let’s just forget about it for today and enjoy Regan’s awful cooking.”
“Hey!” the cook in question yelled, and seconds later, a raw brussels sprout flew across the room and bounced off Robyn’s head.
Robyn chuckled, leaning down to pick it up. “You do have good aim, though.”
“No dessert for you, Robbie.”