11. A Done Deal #4
“You’re just a fucked up child, Noah. If you were never born, I doubt the world would care. I know I wouldn’t.”
“...like this?” The memories once again clouded my vision, and the two voices were spinning together, just like the night in the alley. Silas was dragging that memory from the depths of my soul. I couldn’t stop it. I was spiraling.
“What are you good for then?”
“Silas,” I whimpered, unable to disconnect anymore. The memories were overpowering and I couldn’t separate the two.
“Say my name again,” Silas groaned, digging his fingers into my hips, slamming in and out of me. He was oblivious.
“Well, come here...”
“Show daddy what you can do...”
Abruptly, the thrusts hesitated, stopping the range of my thoughts, making me feel dizzy. The only thing I could really make sense of was the sharp heaving of Silas’s chest pressed against mine. Everything else was a blur.
“You–” Silas was struggling for breath, a small droplet of sweat falling from his brow. “You’re crying.”
It was suddenly becoming more clear: the wet stains on my cheeks, the way my lips quivered slightly when I sucked in air. I was indeed crying.
I tentatively touched the moisture on my cheek and marveled at the fact that I had not seen those tears in so long. Only memories of the tears ever came to me. I had never relieved them before, so brutally, to the point where I felt as though I was truly back there, in the past.
“Shit...” I muttered, quickly dragging the back of my hand across my eyes. The tears had an agenda of their own, and they weren’t stopping.
Silas’s face displayed pure horror, an emotion that even surprised me to see. He stumbled on his words. “Was I… too rough? Did I–”
“No, no it’s not–” I tried to rid my thoughts of the devastation that was my childhood. Hell would freeze over, before I tried to get Silas to sympathize with my past pain.
I didn’t need pity anyways. It didn’t do shit.
I couldn’t get the tears to get with the program, because I was unable to prevent them from streaming down my face. “For fuck’s s-sake…” I wiped at them hastily. Maybe it had been too long. Emotions were like that. Choosing to arrive at the worst fucking times.
“I’ll stop,” I heard Silas say, his body laying fully into me so his hands could reach to my face. “We can wait, some other time maybe, or–”
I focused my gaze on him, stunned. His thumbs gently pulled my tears down my cheeks, trailing their paths, and wiping them clean. The words coming out of his mouth and his actions just weren’t adding up.
“Hey.”
Silas stopped, his fingers freezing just beneath my eyes.
I angled his chin upwards with my thumb and forefinger. “Why the sudden compassion?”
He stared at me dumbfounded. “You were practically sobbing!”
I felt my pupils dilating. I knocked his hands away. I could think of a specific occasion when crying, pleading and begging meant nothing to Silas Thorne. “So was she.”
Silence.
“Were you going to stop for her?”
Silas’s breath began to steady, and we never lost eye contact. Another small bead of sweat dripped from his forehead on mine, and his lips finally curved upwards into a sly smile.
“No,” he confirmed, knowing exactly who I was referring to.
“...a monster.”
“You’re a monster,” I hissed, and at the word “monster” I could feel Silas push his still hardened length deeper into me. I gasped.
Silas’s eyes shone. “And you fucking love it.”
I felt light again, like when my drugs hit just right. He was right. I fucking loved it.
“Would you want me to change then, hm?” he questioned, forehead knocking gently into mine. His hair was matted against the sides of his face, some of the longer pieces dipping down into my line of vision.
“Not even,” I answered him honestly, brushing his hair back. I could feel him tense.
I was used to monsters.
Suddenly, a question formed in my head. “Would you change? If I wanted you to?”
Silas grinned, “Not a chance.”
I knew that I was addicted to his games at this point.
This pain Silas caused, this selfish person who only cared about his own desires—why the fuck did I want him so badly?
This man admitted with a straight face that he had absolutely no remorse for what he did to an innocent person like Delane, and in response, my cock pulsed with need.
My official Noah Hansen Motto started ringing in my ears: Who cares what it looks like on the inside?
“Where were we?” I pondered, noticing our position. The memory had finally been banished to the depths of my psyche once again, and I was ready to pick up where we had left off.
“We were at the part where I asked you why the hell you started to cry,” Silas answered with a snap, propping himself on his elbows to glower at me.
I rolled my hips, earning a hiss of satisfaction from him. “Don’t ask me anymore.”
His thumbs dug into my cheek bones. “Noah…” he rumbled.
“I’ll tell you after you satisfy me,” I demanded, leaning up to take advantage of his lips. It was a lie and I knew it. By the time we were done with each other, he wouldn’t care anymore. The taste on his tongue was sweeter this time around.
Silas eased back, uncertain. “If you want me to stop–”
“Ah, shit, just fuck me and shut up!”
He began at a slow pace, saying nothing more. This hadn’t existed before. Silas was taking his time with me now, unlike before when he was relentless. A savage.
The feeling was the same nonetheless and I shut my eyes from the waves of pressure and pleasure combined. It was exquisite. I felt suspended between my past and reality. Sex always seemed to do that to me. It would take me back, back to that face and those unwanted hands.
In the dark. Where the real monster resided.
“Hah, daddy loves you...”
“Faster, Silas, please,” I begged. Make these thoughts go away.
He did as I asked, speeding up, his hand navigating to my throat, closing around my neck just enough that the air grew delicate. My hips surged forward, and my back arched.
“Go on, Noah. Daddy won’t hurt you...”
“No...”
“...not yet...”
“Noah, open your eyes.” His voice brought me back. I felt like I was caught on the top of a roller coaster, my head slightly tilted over the side so that I could see the drop below. I was in the first seat. And the fall was inevitable.
My eyes opened and I saw Silas, sudden relief washing over and consuming me.
“I don’t … I can’t...” I whispered nonsense, feeling my approaching release. I was so fucking close.
“I want you to watch as I make you cum,” Silas uttered throatily. Releasing my neck, he used one arm to support himself on the bed as he eased in and out of me, a tantalizing slow pace. He took my cock into his hand, sliding up and down mercilessly.
“Watch as I fuck you,” he demanded.
I obeyed, leaning my gaze down to watch our bodies meshing together, the most delicious form of sin.
I almost instantly threw my head back into the sheets from the sheer pleasure of seeing his cock enter me again and again.
Silas escalated the speed and strength of his thrusts, taking care to pull out almost entirely before driving into me again.
The friction against my cock and the complete fullness I experienced from his was sending me over the edge.
Silas moaned into my neck. “So fucking good, Noah, fuck—”
And then a sound. A small sound.
An out of place sound.
The sound of the front door opening. The sharp clink of keys hitting a table.
My senses spiked and I gazed over Silas’s shoulder to my door. Was somebody in the house, or had I merely imagined it all?
“What was–” My sentence was cut off when Silas’s grasp found my balls, gently rubbing as he pushed deeper into me, hitting that absolute perfect spot.
His name left my mouth in a cry. My world lost color.
I closed my eyes as my orgasm surged through me, and my legs tensed around Silas’s waist. My body rode atop the crest of ecstasy as hot, thick cum poured into his fingers and onto my stomach.
Not a moment later, Silas’s body went rigid, and he collapsed into me, calling my name.
And like that it was over.
And I was falling.