White Hot Rage #9
The rest of the group walked in. Elise squeezed Melanie’s hand when she walked by.
My mom looked uncomfortable while everyone sat down.
Before anyone could comment further my mom stood, “I want to make something perfectly fucking clear. You have NO idea what you are asking right now, but I do. If Melanie is uncomfortable the topic is closed. Are we clear?” Everyone looked at her.
Mom sighed, “I asked if we are fucking clear? Because so help me god if ONE of you pushes it past the point she is comfortable, I will banish your fucking ass from this territory.” My eyes widened. Mom hadn’t done that in a long time.
Once she accepted her Fairy side, mom could banish Wolves and Fairies, technically the Hackura too. Wolves because she was the Luna of the pack at one point, and Hackura and Fae because those were a part of her.
Jason agreed, “Ok.” I noticed Addison had shown up.
Melanie sighed, “Why aren’t you guys off celebrating being married?
And… doing… ummm married stuff… that I am not going to think about.
” Addison frowned, “We were worried about you, Mel. T called about the whole your Xander getting his wings and shouting incident. I wanted to check on you and so did Jase.”
It hit me that Addison knew. In fact, all Melanie’s friends knew what was on her back. Elise offered, “I stand by what I said to you in the meadow by the pond, Ladybug. Healing is what comes from the truth.” Melanie laughed, “Yes and no. Pain comes from the truth too.”
My mate picked at her sleeve saying, “I think there is enough pain in this room. Particularly when it comes to me. None of you can look at me without a hint of guilt in your eyes. What happened to me, happened. It’s my past… and you can’t change it.”
Sam whispered, “You shouldn’t have to bear that burden alone.” Melanie shrugged, “Plenty of people know what happened to me. If I want to find someone to talk to about it… there’s a pretty long list… so… that’s not really a good argument either.”
Tristan surmised, “Your friends know then.” Melanie answered, “Yes, they do… which you knew… before now… so I’m not sure why...” Drake’s eyes narrowed interrupting, “It’s more than them that know.”
Melanie agreed, “Yes, it is. Black Path as a whole knows, as does Ezra’s former pack… along with others… that I did workshops for…. and several packs around… Trevor bragged about his… masterpiece.” Everyone snarled.
My mate shrugged, “His words… not mine.” Addison agreed, “That’s true. He did say that.” Melanie grumbled, “All the time… he’s such a deviant.” Oden growled, “He is.” EJ asked, “Talia knows about your back?”
Melanie answered, “Yes, she does. Not everything, but Talia’s got the basics.” No one said anything else for several minutes. Drake asked, “What did they do to your back, Ladybug?” Oden grumbled, “They all clearly want us to get mad again.” No, they just wanted answers.
Melanie replied, “Whipped me frequently, but you had to have guessed that already. Probably even before Ezra ripped my shirt collar and you saw the top of it.” I was honestly stunned that she answered the question. I glanced at Addison, who didn’t seem surprised at all.
My mate and her were giving each other meaningful looks. Tristan asked, “Why are you telling us outlines of things but not telling us details?” Melanie winced but answered, “Trust is not something I have a lot of anymore… it doesn’t matter that it was ripped away based on lies… they felt real.”
She continued, “What I do have is logical conclusions. Logically, Ezra’s aim is to hurt our family. You’re not going to stop going back to him for answers. He’s going to metaphorically make you bleed with each piece he gives you.”
Melanie straightened up saying, “So I’ll make you a deal. You stop going to Ezra for information about me that’s just going to upset and hurt you….and I’ll tell you what my back says.” My eyes went wide. Jason said, “I want to see it.”
Melanie was quiet for several moments then said, “If you, and I do mean specifically you Jason, give me your word that will not go to Ezra for information about what happened to me then I will show you.” Drake frowned asking, “Not all of us?”
Melanie replied, “Isn’t it bad enough to know the words themselves?
You’d just torture yourself and that’s what Ezra wants.
I don’t expect any of you to answer now.
I want you to think about it…before you answer…
.and I don’t want Tristan or Jason to tell anyone what Ezra told them.
” Tristan’s jaw clenched. It was silent for several moments until they nodded.
Tristan agreed, “We won’t say anything.” Sam whispered, “Ezra said you were in the Undergrounds, but we policed those fights. You weren’t there.” Melanie raised an eyebrow evading, “No, I was not.” My mate didn’t say anything else.
Tristan sighed, “Oh come on, you’ve got to give us something.
” Melanie stood rebutting, “No, I do not have to give you ANYTHING. You want to be sad and punish yourself for what happened to me. I do not have to give you the means to do so. It happened to ME… not you…. and I know you wish it was you.”
Tristan growled, “You’re damn right I do.
” Melanie replied, “I don’t. I would, and tried to, stand in front of a bullet for you…
I tried to change it every year when I saw it…
. I’d do it again… because real or not I won’t watch someone I love get hit by a bullet. I won’t… no, I can’t… maybe it’s both.”
My mate waved, “The point is, I don’t wish it was you or Jason. It’s my past and they are my problems to deal with. You don’t like it, then… well… honestly? Tough?” I don’t think she meant for that to sound like a question.
Sam frowned gently saying, “We are a family.” Melanie replied, “I haven’t had a family for years now. Well… I had the one that I made… but you can’t expect to waltz back into my life and think everything will be the same.”
My mate looked down saying, “I am not the same. I am trying, but you can’t just snap your fingers and change what happened. I don’t see how you all knowing any of this makes it better. Do you think I can’t see how this hurts you?”
Drake questioned, “What about what it does to you?” Melanie continued on and I was certain she didn’t hear him. “Do you think waking up and hearing my brother’s roar makes me feel good? Do you think knowing Xander was in agony makes me feel good?”
My mate wiped tears from her eyes, “I hate it. I hate this. I hate them. Everyone who knows what happened to me carries the guilt of it around with them….and when I say most Black Path members didn’t like me…
. I mean it…but even they felt guilty. I was never the tool Ezra or Edward wanted me to be, and I won’t…
no, I can’t be your tool to punish yourself. ”
Melanie asked, “Is it really so hard to see that I love you all? I’m hurt… and bitter. I’m really freaking angry, but I love all of you. I always did. That has never changed. This would be so much easier if I didn’t love you.”
She rubbed her face, “If I could’ve just let myself hate Jason for the words I thought were his or for turning his back on me.
.. GOSH, that would’ve made my life much easier.
It would’ve made the ONE Alpha blood in my life acting like one happier…
. but I never could. We are family, and I get to protect you all too. ” She meant Caine Davis.
Melanie took a deep breath, “I was going to try to seek out Jason before Xander came back from his mission to explain… that I did have a wolf… that maybe we could try to build some sort of relationship again. I was going to try then before knowing all the lies.”
“Now...Now I just don’t understand this. Why do we need to keep perpetuating the cycle of hurt? Is it not enough that you know Xander was deeply hurt by what he saw? You all want to share in that type of pain? For whom? I don’t think it’s for me… which means it’s about you.”
“I’ve been used to hurt enough people in the allied packs.
I’m over it. I don’t want to hurt you, I never did…
and I have done many things to make sure that didn’t happen.
I want to move past all this and I’m trying, but I just don’t see how hashing it all out all the time does that.
.. it just brings everything else back out when it could just remain in the past buried where it belongs. ”
Sam argued, “Ladybug, that’s not true. What happened to you does hurt us, yes.
I understand that it shouldn’t have happened, but it did.
I hate that more than I can express. Holding it inside and to yourself hurts you, and that’s not what we want.
No one wants you to have to keep your pain locked inside you. ”
My mate shrugged, “I put myself back together a long time ago.” Addison’s left eye twitched which had me raising an eyebrow. Melanie said, “I’m going for a run.” I watched my mate take off like a shot. I stood to join her, but my mom grabbed my hand.
Mom urged, “Wait, a second. Let me go talk to Melanie. I am the person here who understands how she feels. Unfuckingfortunately for us both.” I told my mom, “There is no one I nor Melanie trust more to handle this. My mate sent all those people to you that were hurting emotionally or mentally because she believed in you.” My mom smiled and popped away.
Jason sighed, “Maybe it is about us and not her. Fuck. I don’t know anymore.” My Uncle Bjourn chimed in, “Wanting to know what happened to your sister is natural. I wouldn’t advise making her feel backed into a corner though.”
“Melanie believes what she just said, and I don’t think I’m the only one who caught the undertones.
My nephew’s mate willing to keep her pain inside to not hurt those she loves.
I do sympathize with your position. We didn’t want that for Haley either, but you just have to let her adapt in her own time in her own way.
I’m sure my little sister will suggest therapy. ”