Chapter A lot of Talking #12
Alpha Peter urged, “Please stay for a second, Ladybug. We can go outside together if it’s too hard being in here.” I turned around nervously asking, “Why? I mean… to the request for me to stay… I know the other answer.” Dad growled clearly catching onto why I didn’t want to be in this house.
Alpha Peter said, “I want to say I’m sorry.
” Now I was surprised. I asked, “Not to be repetitive… but I’m definitely going to be…
when I ask, why?” Alpha Peter ran his hands through his hair, “I was supposed to protect you. I should’ve been the one to save you and lead the charge.
Compelled or not I was your Alpha until Dalton and Dakota took over. ”
“You are like a daughter to me, and I am so sorry I didn’t protect you well enough even while you were here.
I should’ve known crossing the border was unlike you.
I should’ve looked into it harder and known something was wrong.
Peanut butter cookies shouldn’t have convinced me otherwise.
” Yes and no. He had no reason not to trust his own men…
that said it was me…the cookies…well…I told them they were evil. A lot.
I shrugged, “Ok.” I didn’t really know what else to say. Alpha Peter wasn’t done, “You saved me and Chelsea.” I nodded. He added, “You wanted me to know it was you, and I didn’t. I’m sorry that you hurt you. Especially when you didn’t have to come save us. Many in your shoes wouldn’t have.”
I disagreed, “Yes, I did.” Mom asked, “You did what?” I answered, “I did have to save them. Even before I knew what I know now. I told EJ it was for Elise… but that was an evasion….it was for me too. For all the good memories we’d shared.”
“For what Alpha Peter and Luna Chelsea meant to you guys… I couldn't let them die. I was never capable of letting them get hurt. I was mad… but I never hated them or wanted them dead… despite how unpopular that opinion was… I tried not to care….but it didn’t work…which hurt…but it’s true.”
Luna Chelsea whispered, “Ladybug.” I continued. “The Resistance protect people… it’s what we do. My logic in protecting you was sound… and I don’t really understand why there was so much push back on it every time it came up.”
“Because you weren’t bad people… you just didn’t like me…
or you did… but I didn’t think you did. So…
it’s arguments that make no sense because…
protecting people was the sole purpose. Sure, it hurt protecting this pack the most…
but I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you guys.
Umm… did you guys even…? You know what? Never mind. ”
Dad asked, “Did they what?” I waved, “It’s silly.
” Alpha Peter argued, “I’m sure it’s not.
What do you want to know? I’ll answer anything you ask.
” Freya took over, “Did you get the presents my human sent? She made some of them and searched several countries for them hoping you’d realize how much she loved you. They were always sent back unopened.”
Mom gasped, “You sent presents?” I took over to answer, “The only one I left on the border was Jason’s watch… because I knew he’d send it back. Ok… I thought he would send the watch back too… but I was mad and wanted him to have to pay for the postage.”
“Which was petty… but I did. It felt like a slight dig he deserved….but then he kept it. Kai was the only one who accepted my presents… in our special spot… because I needed to track him… so I had to get him stuff.”
Dad snorted, “And we are glad you did that.” Mom agreed, “Definitely.” I hummed, “I didn’t think that would be a popular thing that I did… but I didn’t care since… ummm that’s a whole thing off topic.” Luna Chelsea said, “You believed they told you not to come see him.”
I replied, “They did… or people pretending to be them did… in a way…that was very mean…and hurtful. Heck… even people in Black Path thought that was mean. So, that’s a thing. Anyway… the point was about the presents and you getting them.”
“Which obviously I don’t have any of for mom, dad, and T…
because… well reasons that are pretty clear…
but I have every else’s still. I kept them…
because I’m… I don’t know … I just wanted you to love me again…
so I kept them hoping you would….then you’d see I still had them and understand I always loved you too. ”
Alpha Peter said, “We never saw them, and we would’ve kept them. Whenever you are ready, we would love to see them. I had T ask Levi to track the presents we sent to the fake Melanie. We want to get them back for you to have as you were always meant to.”
I whispered, “You sent me presents?” Dad replied, “We all did.” I felt the tears coursing down my cheeks. I apologized, “I’m sorry you wasted the money… and I’m sorry I didn’t know.” I held myself and my dad moved quickly to hold me. I lost it in his arms.
I cried, “I was supposed to know… I should’ve checked and I didn’t… because I was hurt… and mad.” Mom said, “You were a pup, and very bad people hurt you. They pretended to be our family and those important to you that you loved. We don’t blame for you that.”
Dad whispered, “Not even for one second do we blame you for that. I know you blame yourself, but the weight of the world isn’t on you.” It was though. I was supposed to know things like that to protect the people I loved.
I hummed, “Anyway… we were talking about saving Alpha Peter. People were against it… but people were wrong, and I was right… so… that’s a thing.” Dad snickered but it his tone in the laugh held worry to it.
This is what I get for crying on people. Freya said, “No, Pepper is worried you ignored Alpha wolves.” Well… they were wrong so… it was fine. Freya snorted, “Not exactly. His concern isn’t unfounded. Beta wolves, don’t ignore Alpha’s.” Well…this one does when they are wrong. Freya chuckled.
Alpha Peter said, “I know people were against it. I talked to my daughters in law about it when Alexander popped you out to see your friend. You still didn’t have to warn us.
I would’ve preferred a nicer warning for our first communication in years.
” He might have a point….since I was snarky and angry.
Alpha Peter smiled saying, “I understand why it wasn’t though, and I’m not mad about it.” I hummed, “That’s good… since I’m not sure how that apology would go… since I thought you… said… and did… things you didn’t… so it’s all weird.”
Alpha Peter told me, “I’m proud of you. I know you’ll get lectures about the disrespect you’ve shown to me, Dalton, Dane, Dakota, Christopher, Sebastian, and my dad.
Cooper seemed exempt for reasons I could guess.
” Well… Cooper didn’t refuse to read my appeal and I’d planned to resubmit it to him. So… that’s why.
Freya laughed, “Thunder’s guess is correct then.
” That wasn’t surprising. Alpha Peter said, “That lecture about respect isn’t going to come from our family.
I always told you that respect is earned.
I meant that. In your shoes with the lies you were told I did not deserve your respect.
I understand your anger. I just want to and hope that one day get to the place we were. ”
I sighed, “You are still a man who deserves respect. You didn’t do the things I thought you did…. and even when… it wasn’t about respecting you… I respected the Alpha you were… it was just… everything was different, and I was angry… and I wanted you to love me again.”
“I thought you lied to me….I thought you lied to my parents about being my guardians if something happened to them. I thought you didn’t even want me to call you Alpha Peter because you were so mad at me you wanted me to be the only one calling you Alpha Kyle.”
“I still don’t get why that’s the hill the wanted to die on with your title.
Part of me just thinks they are actually dumb of to think it’s what you went by…
then I told them you went by Alpha Peter and they’d already gotten it wrong…
so they ran with it. I don’t know…the point was…
It wasn’t about respect. I was angry and desperately wanted you to love me again… but I felt like you weren’t going to.
Alpha Peter said, “I will never, for even one second, stop loving you as my own.” Why did hearing that make me feel like a balm was put on my broken heart? I knew that already… logically speaking. I hummed, “I agree that you were supposed to protect me. Logically, I don’t know how you could’ve.”
“You were compelled… and eating cookies… and I feel like that is where my problem is. My heart feels like you should’ve figured it out. Because… I said the cookie lady was evil… and that the peanut butter cookies were too…but no one listened to me.”
“I don’t know how to act or what to say anymore. Everything is confusing and it hurts. It hurts being here… in this pack… and definitely in this house. I can still see it in my head. I can see where Tristan died, where I was shot, where mom died, and dad.”
“I tried…I just it wasn’t logical but whoever was mom in that illusion because I do know it was a woman now…her head was in so many pieces…I remember thinking it was ok because I was so good at jigsaw puzzles, I could make sure mom was fine by putting her back together.”
“I remember thinking it was weird mom didn’t call us pups. I remember thinking dad should’ve been down in pain and his howl was wrong. Instead of questioning those things, I felt stupid for thinking them because I lost them.”
“I fought my way to dad…and it ….went badly…which you know. We laid right there where Luna Chelsea is on the floor… and I watched his chest stop moving…everyone said they loved me…except mom…because they shot her in the head….then I woke up in Nashville.”