Chapter 7 That’s Three #3
I was surprised when my Grandma Esther came in next.
I said, “Umm… grandma? Did you make an appointment to see me? That’s silly.
” Grandma Esther laughed, “It’s not so silly.
You’re a hard girl to pin down. Then again, you always were.
You were always off doing something. Some camp or recital this, that, and the other. ” She had a point.
Grandma Esther rubbed my hand saying, “You don’t need to shut anyone out because you are not the pup you were. You’re still our Ladybug and we love you. No one expects anyone not to change as they grow. It’s part of life.”
“Personally, I am glad you still ramble and talk out loud when you don’t mean to.
I adore that I can see what you’re thinking on your face.
I love that you never let anyone try to tell you to be someone else.
You are still joyfully you. I don’t care if you slaughter every bad person in the world, you’ll always be my Ladybug. ” Tears filled my eyes.
Freya said, “I like her and her wolf.” I did too… it was that way with my family. I didn’t just love them because they were family… I liked who they were as people too. Grandma Esther asked, “So what’s been going on with you? I want to hear all about it.” She did this when I was growing up.
I snorted, “I don’t know where to start.” Grandma Esther shrugged, “Wherever you want is always a good place.” I said, “I got married… which you know.” Grandma Esther smiled, “I do.” I sighed, “You also know about the Resistance stuff and…”
Grandma waved her hands, “The Resistance is something you do, Ladybug. Getting married to the love of your life is more like what I’m looking for. The Resistance can be part of your story, but that doesn't tell me how my grandpup is.”
I sighed, “I don’t know how to answer that. Everything is the same for you guys, but not for me. It feels weird. This is better than any version I had of how things would go for me being here. It’s nice but it just wasn’t in the many plans I had.”
Grandma Esther laughed, “Awww my Melanie Jane and her plans. I see that’s another piece of our problems as a family. I know that it is hard for you to mentally grasp when there’s a scenario you didn’t expect happening to you.”
“You did always have twenty different scenarios to the same situation running in your head. Even as a pup, you hated it when the outcome wasn’t something you’d thought of. Even if that outcome was good.” I sighed, “I’m happy with how things are….”
Grandma Esther interrupted, “You just don’t know how to plan out the rest of the story in your head.” I nodded. Grandma Esther advised, “Ladybug, you can’t plan your life away. Just enjoy the moments as they come. Keep your plans but let life surprise you again.”
“These last few years will end up being an anomaly of surprises being bad. I’ll make sure of that, don’t you worry. I hate what you went through, but I can’t say I’m not damn proud of the woman before me.”
I questioned, “Aren’t you upset with me?” Grandma Esther smiled, “About fighting in the Undergrounds and letting yourself get beaten up before you won? I don’t like that at all. If you so much as THINK about doing something like that again, you’ll not like my response.”
“I don’t like how to choose to deal with your pain, but it was not my pain to decide how to deal with it.
It was yours. That was your choice. We do not punish ourselves for the decisions of others.
You were influenced by those fake wedding rings you wore.
We were under compulsions. Things happen and you don’t have to like them all. You do have to move on.”
I snorted, “You should give the rest of the family that advice, grandma. They are all blaming themselves. Especially dad. Jase and T are though too.” Grandma Esther said, “Yes, well I’ll be getting around to them. Along with your grandpa. You saved him, a lot.”
I nodded, “Of course I did.” Grandma Esther smiled, “You say that, but you are one of a kind. Plenty of people would’ve turned their backs on him thinking he had done the same. He’s losing his mind over this situation.”
“You were always close to your grandpa’s heart, all our hearts really.
They tried to take away the heart of the McAlister’s, but they didn’t count on my sweet Ladybug.
Your heart kept on going. No one will agree with all the decisions you make in life; however, there is no denying the wonderful woman you’ve become. ”
“In the face of adversity you rose to the challenge, above it actually. You fought for the underdog. Hell, you were the underdog, and you were never meant to be one. You were meant for an easier life. Despite being dealt a bad hand, you never gave up. I’m damn proud of you.”
I smiled and got up out of my seat to give her a hug.
Grandma Esther hugged me tightly asking, “Now, how’s life here?
” I laughed, “It’s certainly different. I think Xander would like it if I slept more…
but he doesn’t seem to understand I’m sleeping so much more now,… than I have been these last years.”
Grandma laughed, “There will be plenty of time for sleep. You will figure that out. It won’t be an overnight change. You used to sleep quite a bit.” I shrugged, “I don’t think I need to now… it’s been a whole thing…but I didn’t sleep as much as you guys think I did either.”
Grandma touched my face, “I’m sure you’re right. You will find the balance. You always find a way for everything you want to happen. When you put your mind to something, nothing and no one can stop you.” I kissed her cheek, “Thanks for teaching me how to shoot.”
Grandma laughed, “A skill all of us should have should the need arise. I’m glad you put it to good use. Don't forget to take care of yourself, Melanie Jane. You’re a person too. Being the eyes and ears for everyone is exhausting.”
“You need to take time for yourself as well. You’ve had a lot of big changes. Your family dynamic, your mate, your way of life, and you turn out to be an actual legend. It’s ok to give yourself some time to adjust.”
I snorted, “I really should start training.” Grandma argued, “You have training. You can fight better than most people I’ve ever seen. You don’t need magical goddess like powers to do that. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to adjust to the news.”
“You don’t always have to jump in full force. You can start with small things. There’s only so much your body and mind can take before you’re on overload. Take things one step at a time. Just try not to take steps back once you make them forward.”
Tears filled my eyes. I whispered, “I really missed you, Grandma Esther.” She hugged me tightly before saying, “Oh Ladybug, we were missing a piece of all our souls without you with us. We have missed you more than you could imagine.”
“The boys don’t express that or handle it well, but don’t worry I’m on the case. They will behave themselves. When Duncan comes home, he’ll speak their language. He’s the piece we are missing with that, but I know my little boy is coming home once he knows you’re here.”
I snorted, “All the men in our family speak their minds. I’m sure Uncle Duncan will come home, but I don’t know if he will stay.” He’d find out I was there and didn’t save his mate. Grandma Esther said, “That’s ok. I know he will stay. He has missed you so much.”
Grandma paused then added, “There’s a difference in feeling your feelings, speaking your mind, and taking those feelings out on someone who does not deserve it. We all would love for everything to be as it was, but that day will not be today or tomorrow.”
“Thankfully, we have centuries to get back to what we had as a family. Those boys need to remember they possess patience. Once Duncan is back, he will stay. Some of your cousins are in talks to transfer into this pack. I know Allison and Archer will be here to talk to you once they are back too.”
“You know, it’s ok to tell the family to rally and come around you. They would’ve. Nothing is healed in a day, Ladybug. Magic may have messed with our dynamic and hurtful words were exchanged for you. Ours weren’t hurtful in regard to us thinking you were talking to us, just terse.”
“The words were few and far between for us, but we held on for those times. Just like I know you held onto those awful letters saying hurtful things. None of us let go when it probably would’ve been easier on everyone.
We held onto the scraps and that’s how I know we will be ok.
I’m always here for you to come talk to. ”
I wiped away a few tears whispering, “I remember… I mean that you always said that… before… I just really thought you’d never say it to me again.
..” Grandma kissed the top of my head saying, “My sweet little girl turned into a beautiful young woman while she went out and made the world her dance floor.”
“You did everything I ever thought you would and more. I knew, as did your grandpa, that those tinkering’s you were working on would change the world. Duncan told us all the time if you got the access to things you needed, you’d take everyone by surprise.”
I changed the subject, “Have you seen Grandma and Grandpa Haskins?” Grandma Esther snorted, “I fired a shot near both their heads, and some people have overreacted to that.” I gasped, “You what?” Grandma Esther replied, “I would’ve hit them if I meant it. It was a warning, that they aren’t taking.”
I reasoned, “They are mad at me.” Grandma Esther growled, “They are being cruel. All of us are upset and we all have the reasons that we are. The only way that will be resolved is by showing up. I won’t pretend my approach would be the same with all my grandpups, it wouldn’t.”