15. Elara
Chapter 15
Elara
M y heart skips a beat as my phone buzzes on the coffee table. I can’t stop the excitement from swelling in my chest when I pick it up and see Kato’s name on my caller ID.
“Kato?” I ask as I answer the phone, waiting until the fourth ring to pick it up.
“Hey,” his voice is low, sexy even; I squeeze my thighs together, hoping to stop the dampness that’s already spreading between my legs just from the sound of his voice. Oh, Goddess, I’m in this now.
“Hey,” I say, hardly able to form words.
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m just fine, curled up on the couch with a book. What’s going on?” I ask, knowing he wouldn’t call me during an operation if he didn’t need something job-related from me. He’s focused, and integrity is important to him. It’s one of the qualities I’ve always loved about him.
“I hate to bother you, but I’m wondering if you can listen to a voice recording. I don’t think it’s our guy, but since you know his voice, I’d like to be sure.”
My stomach churns and my skin starts to prickle. Swallowing hard I take a deep breath before I respond, trying to keep the room from spinning around me. “Yes, I can listen.”
“Okay, tell me when you are ready.”
“The sooner the better.”
As Kato plays the recording for me, I am flooded with relief and disappointment, “That’s not the man who held me captive.” A lump forms in my throat, but I take another deep breath.
I can’t afford to let Kato know how much this affects me, or he will never let me help them with this case.
“You’re certain?” He says after a moment.
“I’m certain. What made you think this might have been our man?”
“I didn’t think he was our man, but he attacked Callie near the bathrooms, so I just had to be sure. He doesn’t fit the profile, so I’m not surprised.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. Maybe a little rattled, but he didn’t stand a chance against Hati and wouldn’t have stood a chance against Callie if she wasn’t hesitant about blowing her cover.”
“I don’t think this guy would be so brazen to attack someone at the bar. I’ve searched my memories, and I don’t believe I was attacked at the bar. Now that we are talking about this again, I remember having this feeling for a whole week before I was kidnapped that I was being watched. I thought I was beginning to be paranoid. Ezra thought I was paranoid, but now I’m unsure.”
“You think he stalked you at home?” Kate’s voice comes out in a low, vicious growl. I can nearly feel the blaze of his anger through the phone.
“Not just at home either, when I was working, going to Pilates class, grocery shopping, you name it.” I shudder, the sensations washing over me as though I’m reliving that hair-raising feeling all over again. I bring my knees in closer to myself.
“How do you feel now? Do you feel like you’re being watched?”
“I am being watched,” I joke, referring to Bruce and the other agents who are parked outside.
“Right,” Kato says, relieved by the lightness in my tone. ”I’ve got to get off the phone now. I’m not sure how long we will be at this, but we aren’t getting much.”
“Let me know when you are coming home. I’ll talk to you later,” I say, hanging up the phone before Kato can respond. A sort of misplaced sadness swells in my chest at the realization that I won’t be able to keep talking to him.
I’m sad that he’s not right here beside me on this couch. I’m sad, and I can’t quite put my finger on something else. I don’t know that I’ll ever be the same after this. I don’t think I will.
And the grief twisting in my gut isn’t just for my loss of Kato, in this moment, but for the loss of the self I’d once been. The loss of the way I’d once seen the world.
I wanted to escape this lifestyle—it’s why I ended things in the first place—but now I’m not so sure fate will let me. I sigh, setting my phone back on the coffee table. My eyes drop to the fire burning in the fireplace before me.
Who am I now?