Chapter Fifteen
Tyler
As I hefted another sun-bleached block onto the wall surrounding the Council Chamber, I felt the satisfying strain in my muscles. It was a welcome distraction. Packmates moved around me, their spirits lifted as they repaired the damage done during a recent storm.
“Not many more now,” said Justin, a younger packmate, as he picked up another rock.
“Yeah, it’s looking good,” I replied, masking the turmoil that churned within. I’d been immersing myself in as many of the pack’s manual labor tasks as I could lately—throwing myself into training and physical tasks to keep my mind occupied. I aimed to feel stronger, to push through the bite in my chest that accompanied memories of Seraphina.
Ever since I learned she had a new fated mate, I had felt like a ghost in my own life. Memories of Logan intruded, his youthful sturdiness and protective brown eyes imprinted in my mind. After all, Seraphina was thirteen years my junior. Wasn’t the youthful twenty-something Logan much better suited for her?
Determined to ignore those thoughts, I hefted another block, muscles aching but my resolve unwavering. The pack buzzed around me, bright and full of life now that all the packmates had been healed. We were all catching up with various bits of maintenance that had fallen by the wayside during the illness that had afflicted us. With the patrols now back to full strength, there was spare time to get these jobs done. Yet, amid the pack’s light-hearted camaraderie, I felt emptier than ever.
“They’re almost done on the painting,” Justin said casually, interrupting my reverie. “The west ones will be done in a couple more weeks, ready for fall.”
The west houses of Nahachoh were where Logan’s house lay. What I’d been trying to suppress lately whirled through my mind—an image of Seraphina leaving my house and moving in with Logan. My heart sank at the thought of what the passage of time must bring, and fall’s approach had never seemed so bitter.
A sudden urge to rush home surged through me, to capture every moment with her while I still could. But the weight of her previous words echoed in my mind: “I need to talk to Logan. Alone.” She had chosen him now, and I felt the sting of that reality, a reminder of my own shortcomings that had led us to this moment.
It was my fault. I was the one who had stood beside Linda when Seraphina loved me. The memory of that night replayed endlessly, tormenting me. I remembered how I had kissed Seraphina in the infirmary’s supply closet more recently, and how it had felt right, so much so that I had thought the bond we’d once shared had been reignited. Yet now? That bond was gone.
Letting fate take its course was right, but watching Seraphina and Logan grow closer was something I couldn’t bear to witness. I knew from Justin’s reports that Logan was with Seraphina whenever he wasn’t on duty. I knew, too, that he’d insisted Tara was with her otherwise. I didn’t need to worry about Seraphina not being protected without me there, but still, I longed to be the one at her side. Swiping a hand down my face, I remembered with incredulity how I had ordered him to guard her. My chest squeezed. I couldn’t help feeling as if I’d been a helping hand in fate’s planning, placing Logan beside Seraphina as if I’d helped the Moon goddess in her matchmaking.
That was why it was more important than ever to stay away from her. Consequently, despite living under the same roof at the moment, I’d been slipping out with the dawn and not returning until late.
So, I channeled my heartache into the investigation, knowing that helping clear her parents’ names was my best contribution to her happiness. I worked tirelessly, and I recently uncovered a vital lead: the first infected had assisted in the infirmary briefly before the aides returned from summer. I believed the two female packmates who had died from the illness had caught it in the infirmary itself.
The thought unsettled me. Before Seraphina’s arrival, Linda was solely responsible for administering treatment. My relationship with Linda had grown awkward from the fallout of our canceled mate ceremony. Guilt lingered since our breakup, and whenever I met her, I tried to keep it brief and business-like to avoid the undercurrents of our past. Besides, with the way Linda and her father had treated Seraphina recently, I wasn’t looking forward to reaching out. Yet the evidence pointed to an urgent need to investigate further.
I left a note at her house, casually asking her to stop by the Council office. In anticipation of her arrival, I cleared away the sensitive notes I had collected and switched to some standard paperwork.
A knock sounded on my door.
“Come in,” I called out, looking up from the documents I was signing.
“Hi, Tyler,” Linda greeted me in a neutral tone. “I got your note.”
“Yes, please come in.”
She left the door open, and I added, “Would you shut the door, please?”
A flicker of surprise swept across her features, but she obeyed. Since we’d first broken up after Seraphina’s disappearance, there had been two awkward occasions when Linda had visited me here in my office at the Council Chamber, trying to rekindle something that had long since faded. I did my best to suppress the memories of those uncomfortable conversations where I had to rebuff her advances.
“Have a seat,” I said, gesturing to the chair on the other side of my desk. As she settled into it, I asked. “How’s it going? Must be nice to be getting some rest after the craziness of the last few weeks.”
“It is,” she agreed.
Linda, along with the three elders—Elder Darius, Carl, and Tom—were the only ones, aside from myself, with a set of keys to the supplies in our infirmary. To investigate without arousing suspicion, I needed a reason to take a more active role in the infirmary.
“I wanted to check in on how the restocking of supplies is going?” I asked. “We mustn’t get complacent, given how seriously that illness affected us,” I explained.
Her gray gaze took me in seriously. “It’s going fine.” She didn’t hesitate and said smoothly, “Both Kelly and Lauren have been able to get on harvesting duty since the last of the warriors were discharged.”
“Great,” I replied, searching her face for any sign of guilt or nervousness. “I was considering putting more packmates on harvesting duty. Do you think there’s enough storage for more supplies?”
I’d decided to gauge her reactions with talk about supplies. I was pretty certain that the two females must have picked up the illness from the herbs they’d handled in our stocks.
“Sure,” she said easily. “Just give me a head’s up when they’re dropping things off, and I can make sure I process the herbs and store them correctly.”
“Will do,” I said. With that settled, I had a reason for why I’d be dropping off supplies. I fully intended to gather said herbs myself and let myself into the infirmary closet for some private investigating. If she came across me doing so, though, I at least had a reason for being there.
She caught me off guard as she asked, “This is nice, Tyler, clearing the air between us. Maybe you can come over for a drink later?”
I must have given her a hesitant look as she quickly added, “Sorry, that was silly. Forget I said anything.” She was already shooting up from her seat, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.
Guilt somersaulted in my stomach. Perhaps it was because of how devastated I was feeling about Seraphina moving on that I listened to that guilt. I hated the idea of the hurt I’d caused Linda. Even though I couldn’t give her what she wanted, maybe it was time to clear the air between us.
“Sure,” I said, “why not. I’ve got a little more to do here. How does nine p.m. sound?”
“Perfect.” The smile she flashed me had me already regretting my acquiescence. But surely being on civil terms with the healer would only help me investigate the infirmary that bit more easily. After all, she was on my list of suspects.
Linda’s house was a short ten-minute walk, and just before nine, I trudged along the snow-dusted path, taking in the few wolf prints in the snow and the bird prints on the lawn before her house. I couldn’t help but think back to the days when I visited Linda’s house years ago.
Linda opened the door before I had a chance to knock. Her expression was relaxed. Her long blonde hair framed her heart-shaped face, falling in waves against her shoulders. Her gray eyes were guarded, and another swirl of guilt went through me as I wondered how much hurt lingered beneath the surface.
Dressed in a cozy, oversized sweater and jeans, she looked comfortable and laid back. Something eased as I saw that she wasn’t trying too hard. In the past, when she’d tried to make advances, she’d always dressed in tight-fitting, low-cut tops, but tonight, she seemed more relaxed.
“Hi,” she greeted. “Come on in. G&T all right?” she asked, making her way to the open-plan kitchen opposite the living room. She’d already poured a splash into a couple of glasses. It was her drink of choice. When we’d dated, she’d tended to drink gin.
I’d always preferred a bourbon but acquiesced, “Sure, thanks.”
The log burner was lit, and the warmth was welcome after the inefficient electrical heater in the office. The small living and kitchen area was snug, and I shrugged off my coat, setting it on one of the stools by the breakfast bar.
“Have a seat,” she said, gesturing to the couch in the living area. The small living area was decorated in a minimalist style. It was a bit sparse for my liking, but the two-seater sofa sat before a huge picture window, and I settled myself down in the seat furthest from the fire.
I had always liked this view. The night had settled in. The bright white of the lawn at the back of Linda’s property was unspoiled and peaceful before the faint shadows of evergreens behind.
Both fruity and spicy notes were strong as she handed me my glass. I took a sip. The robust flavor caught me by surprise. I coughed. “That’s…spicier than I was expecting.”
Linda chuckled. “I’ve been experimenting with different cordials,” she said. “This one’s got chili and passionfruit in it.”
I nodded, thinking there was too much going on in it, but said politely, “It’s nice. Different.”
“Glad you like it,” she said with a smile, taking a sip of her own and gazing out at the night.
“The new wall at the Council Chamber looks good,” Linda said.
“Thanks,” I replied, relaxing a little at the neutral topic. “It’s been great to see everyone back on their feet and able to pitch in,” I agreed. I took another sip of my drink and glanced at Linda. For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw a spark of desire playing on her face, but she merely said, “It’s great to get a little R&R, too.”
I smiled. “It is, but I know that doesn’t come particularly naturally to you or me.”
She nodded, looking out the window, a smile lifting her lips. I admired Linda for her hardworking ethos. She often worked long hours in the infirmary—as frequently as alpha duties kept me busy. But those responsibilities never seemed too much.
“Did your father mention the new mine?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “Tom’s found a deep vein of ivis in the glacier to the south.”
Elder Tom was a specialist in ores and oversaw our mines. Elder Carl was much more into research in both herbalism and ores, while Elder Darius specialized in running our pack’s ceremonies.
I took another sip of my drink, the lingering heat in my chest leaving a warmth that didn’t feel quite right. It did feel like drinking bourbon: a very strong one.
“I don’t think you’re here to talk about council duties, though, are you?” Linda suddenly asked.
As the strange heat flooded my chest, Linda’s hand traced lightly along my arm. “Do you remember the nights we spent here together?” she murmured, inching closer. Her words curled like incense around me, the lilt of her voice sounding suddenly more appealing, and my gaze wound to her heart-shaped face. Her skin looked soft and her lips full. The strange heat in my chest made me feel as if I wanted to reach out to touch her cheek.
Oh, goddess, this had been a mistake.
She reached out, her fingers brushing mine, sending adrenaline racing through my veins. I frowned, confused by my body’s reaction to her mere touch.
I thought she was reaching for my hand, but she only took the glass from my hand. The glass, I realized, had been angled precariously as I gazed at Linda. The heat running through my body had made my surroundings recede. All I could think about was the fire in me and the spark of electricity that her touch produced,
I yanked my hand back from her, the world spinning. Startled, I realized there’d been something more than herbal cordial in that drink. It was something that made an alarm bell blare in my mind as this heat spread rapidly out of control, again making me far too aware of Linda’s soft fingertips lingering on my arm.
“What are you doing, Linda?” I demanded.
Her lips twitched, an unsettling glint in her eye that sent a chill racing down my spine. “Just helping you relax. It’s been too long since you let go,” she insisted, her thigh touching mine as she leaned closer toward me. Heat roared through me at the feel of her.
“You’ve had so much strain lately. We both have. There’s nothing wrong with blowing off some steam,” she said.
My instincts roared. The lingering warmth of the drink ignited a clarity I couldn’t ignore.
“I have to go,” I said, pushing her away, resisting the heat in my chest that seemed to tell me I wanted her touch. Dread curled in the pit of my stomach as I knew that was the last thing I wanted.
“Don’t fight it,” she urged, following me. “I know you feel it, too. There’s still something between us, Tyler.”
In a moment of self-preservation, I hurried to the front door.
“Tyler, wait!” she called after me. But I was already yanking the door open and stomping out into the night. The cool air felt heavenly against the heat prickling against my skin.
I’d forgotten my coat, but I didn’t go back. I fought against the rush of adrenaline flooding my body as I strode away. I needed to get as far away as possible from Linda. Striding through the night, all my focus speared on the sole thought of getting back to my own space. There, I’d be safe and could wait for this noxious heat that Linda had poisoned me with to pass through my system.