Chapter 5
FIVE
Holly
“You said a teaspoon of salt?” I ask Adeline.
“Yep, and—” She cuts off with a laugh.
“What?”
“Teaspoon, Holly. That’s a tablespoon.”
“Oh.” I sigh, switching out the salt so the cookies we’re making won’t taste like we’re licking a salt block.
“Perfect,” Adeline says as I add it to the bowl.
“I’m terrible at this.”
“You just need practice,” she assures me.
“I’ve been practicing with you for over a decade,” I remind her. “I don’t think that’s it.”
“You’re so much better than you used to be!”
“Liar.”
She giggles, and I smile, but it feels forced. Everything has since I learned that Camden is my fated mate and doesn’t want me. Being unwanted reminds me of my childhood, of my whole life.
“Hey,” Adeline says softly.
I blink, looking over at her. “Hm?”
“He’s an idiot.”
I smile sadly. “Is he? It feels like a pattern. I mean, my parents didn’t want me. They were biologically programmed to love me, and they didn’t give two shits about me. So why would someone who’s fated to be perfect for me want me?”
“Holly, it’s not like that,” she says. “There has to be a reason he’s waiting.”
Yeah, he doesn’t want me. I’m not good enough, I think.
“Have you heard back from any of the jobs?” Adeline asks, trying to change the subject.
“One. They offered me the position.”
“That’s great! Which one? Are you going to take it?”
I shrug as I slide onto a kitchen stool. “Maybe. It would make me some money.”
“You don’t want the job?”
“It’s the waitressing job at the diner,” I tell her. “I just thought… I don’t know, I guess I was hoping to change careers when I made this big move.”
“You can! You don’t have to take the first job you get.”
“I don’t want to be a burden on you guys.”
“You’re not! I love having you here.” She dusts off her flour-covered hands and comes to sit next to me. “I mean it. I missed you so much, Holly. Having you here has been amazing. A dream come true.”
I smile wider this time, and she hugs me, leaving little handprints on my shirt. I laugh as I dust them off, and she smiles as she goes to wash her hands before rolling out the dough.
“What do you want to do?” she asks as she forms the cookies.
“I’m not sure. I’d like to travel. To explore and learn more about different places and myself.”
“Why don’t you search for jobs that would let you do that, then? Or find something remote so you can work and travel?”
“That’s easier said than done.”
“There has to be something!” she argues.
“I’ll look.”
“Do it now,” she orders.
I huff as I hop off my stool and grab my phone. “Okay, magical jobs that allow me to travel.”
Addy rolls her eyes. “What’s it say?”
“They’re not hiring,” I deadpan.
She grins. “Try again.”
“Um… I could work on a cruise ship. Or become a flight attendant.”
“Any job listings for that?”
“A few.”
“Apply! What’s the worst that can happen?”
I know she’s right. “Okay, okay,” I grumble as I apply for the cruise ship postings. The flight attendant application is more complicated since I’d have to go to school, but I fill out some interest forms from different schools and set my phone aside. “Happy?”
Adeline pulls the first batch of cookies from the oven. “As long as you are!”
Am I happy?
I’m not thrilled with either option, but it feels like a step in the right direction.
Maybe.
Adeline’s phone dings, and she smiles, so I know it must be Rhodes texting her.
“Rhodes has to work late tonight. He suggested we have a girls’ night!” she says, looking so happy and in love.
Why can’t anyone love me? Someone besides Adeline.
A pang hits my chest, the ache dull and throbbing. Ugh, I hate feeling like this. I should stay far, far away from Camden, and maybe this feeling will go away.
I nod to myself at that plan and smile at Adeline. “Sounds good. What should we do?”
She gives me a mischievous smile, and I raise an eyebrow as she details her plan for the night.
I grin. I’d do anything for Adeline, including something called a mayo hair mask.
By the time Rhodes gets home, we’ve done the hair mask, eaten half a dozen cookies each, and watched two movies. We’re both half asleep, and Rhodes smiles at Adeline as he scoops her into his arms and carries her up to bed.
I follow, trying to ignore the jealousy eating away at me as I tuck myself into bed.