Chapter 8
Eight
Rattlesnake — Jack Van Cleaf
SIX DAYS LATER
V egas. An interesting location but a relief since I had worried Jasper would use his favor in order to get me back to New York.
And I couldn’t be sure that I’d leave the island alive if I set foot on it at that point.
Jasper didn’t want me dead. Of all the things I knew about Jasper—all of which had become uncertain the further he went into the underworld—I knew one thing for sure…
He’d fight to the death to keep me alive.
My humanity was another story. Jasper didn’t entirely value that since he’d bargained, sold, and lost most of his. It was the reason I kept him in my life, the belief that he still held on to a shred of his own humanity.
Or maybe that was the lie I was telling myself.
He was waiting for me at the entrance to the private airport when I landed. Black suit, cut to mold to his looming, lean frame.
As usual, his hair was pulled back into a bun at the nape of his neck, making his features more severe, accentuating the high cut of his cheekbones, heavy, dark brows, and arched lips that never stretched into a smile anymore. His eyes were so dark brown they appeared black in the right light.
Handsome. He’d grown into a handsome man, which wasn’t a surprise since he’d been an attractive teenager. He could’ve easily been a Calvin Klein model, but he chose another path.
His eyes gleamed over me as I walked toward him, my steps purposeful, not stuttering in my stride even though it was unnerving to see him after so long.
When I was in New York, rubbing shoulders with cruel, greedy and narcissistic men almost every moment of the day, Jasper was like a cool respite.
He might’ve been all of those things too, but he was different.
Deeper. Again, another lie I told myself.
After being in Jupiter, surrounded by warmth, love and family, it was stark, realizing what he’d turned into. What he always was.
A killer.
Someone who would end the life of any of those I held dear if he was ordered to or if they were in his way. It was why I was here, still playing this game… Because I was terrified of what would happen if I stopped.
I felt like I’d been tilted, suddenly seeing the unmitigated coldness of my life. What used to be comforting, motivating to me, recognizing what I’d created for myself, now left a bitter taste on my tongue.
Jasper stepped forward, hand on the small of my back before leaning in to lay his lips on the side of my neck in a strangely affectionate and possessive gesture.
I forced my body not to stiffen.
Our relationship was physical. It had been since we were teenagers.
There was no denying that we’d been attracted to each other since the day in the meadow.
There was never any angst, no pining. We’d both known what we wanted—each other.
Even as a teenager, I’d realized that the sex we had was on a different level.
And as I’d had experience with a handful of other men, I’d understood that I’d never get better than Jasper. At least until Elliot.
So no, Jasper and I weren’t lovers, we weren’t in love . We were two people using each other. Two people connected, locked together by more than just sex. Two people tangled up in a cold, messy, and toxic web.
Maybe once I’d tried to convince myself I loved Jasper, but I’d comprehended that he wasn’t someone who could be loved.
I had far too much self-preservation to let myself love a man, let alone a bastard like Jasper.
“So happy to see me you can’t contain yourself?
” I forced my voice to be shrewd yet teasing, not wanting him to know I was unnerved.
He was able to sniff out even an ounce of weakness.
I couldn’t let my guard down around him.
He’d use that as a foothold to tear me apart and bring me down with him into his depraved world which I’d only dipped my toes into.
“It is nice to see you, but we have eyes on us. Assume it’ll be that way until you leave.
” His voice was barely a whisper. It crept up my skin, slithered through my defenses and awoke that cold, cruel version of me that had been dormant since I’d arrived in Jupiter.
The version I’d been trying to kill. Jasper would bring it back to life.
Always. The one time he didn’t kill things.
I smiled at him when he stepped back, face inches from mine. He smelled woodsy, a strong aftershave that used to fragrance my bedsheets and more recently, my nightmares.
“I’ll be sure to give them the show you want.” I clutched the back of his neck and pulled his mouth to mine.
He wasn’t surprised by this. I was sure he’d expected such a thing, had watched for every one of my cues.
No one but me would be bold enough or brave enough to make a move like that.
Jasper wouldn’t let anyone but me touch him that way, and even then, I was sure he’d have some kind of punishment in store for me.
That’s how we operated, each calculating the other’s moves, each trying to damage the other a little to see how much we could take.
To find the edge.
When his mouth opened to mine, my body recoiled reflexively, something that had never happened with Jasper, even toward the end.
I’d always melted for him. My dark self had risen up at his touch, reveling in whatever depravity he practiced when he fucked me, whatever pain he inflicted.
I had to fight with everything I had to find that, to kiss him like I used to.
Visions of Elliot’s lips on mine flashed into my mind. How effortless it had been, responding and submitting to him without thought. My body was alight with fire through every moment. No hesitation, no power games.
Safe.
I’d felt safe with him.
Even in the peak moments of pleasure with Jasper, I always knew I had to be on guard, that I was always in danger. It turned me on that he was a feral beast who bowed to no man or woman, who could turn on me and rip me apart at any moment.
That used to be part of the fun. Flirting with destruction, danger. The allure of Jasper as a teenager was a whisper of that. Him as an adult was a roar, both of them a siren song to me. Up until recently.
I forced myself not to end the kiss early, though my body was screaming at me to do so.
Pulling back before Jasper did was a sign of weakness, so I endured. I couldn’t know how long he’d carry on, how far he’d take it. His hand was already palming my ass, plastering our bodies together. Yet again, I willed myself to continue as revulsion overwhelmed me.
Eventually, Jasper stepped back, as I’d known he would. Although his will was as strong as mine, he was not one to indulge in public displays of affection. This role was obviously important to him and those who might’ve been watching were obviously powerful and dangerous.
His mouth hovered inches from mine as his chocolate-brown eyes searched my face.
I watched them travel the contours of my expression, a very slight crease between his brows.
My spine prickled. Although I knew my mask was without cracks, Jasper sensed something had changed about me, and that meant he’d dig and dig until he found what that was. To exploit it.
I met his gaze and held it for a full ten seconds before I stepped back. “Are we going to stand here like two star-crossed lovers, or are you going to get me a cocktail?”
The crease remained for a handful of moments before his expression cleared. I didn’t take that as me getting off the hook. I wasn’t that stupid. I knew that as long as Jasper lived, I’d have to guard against him. I’d never be free of him.
He motioned ahead, then I walked in front of him, tasting acid at the thought of my inescapable future.
One that would always involve Jasper.
At least until one of us was dead.
The car ride was silent. Although the air was thick with energy, with the knowledge that Jasper had brought me here for his own purposes, with the satisfaction of me being beholden to him, he was also serving other masters too.
He wouldn’t waste a moment of our time together.
Everything he did served more than one purpose, fed more than one proverbial beast. The silence was just part of the game, him trying to unnerve me, make me uncomfortable.
But I’d played long enough, so I looked out the window, tapped on my phone, replying to emails with a feigned ease even though I was tenser than I’d ever been in his presence.
The lights of Vegas passed by, people crowding the streets like locusts, full of color, stumbling, laughing as if their problems were nothing but phantoms. That’s why people came here after all, to gamble away futures and forget about the past.
It was a city that denoted extreme wealth, which had people coming in droves, the promise of riches when the reality was nothing but ruin. Smoke and mirrors… The lights, the hotels, the overpriced drinks and food. Vegas took from you as you cosplayed as someone with power, wealth.
For the 99 percent, at least. We were here as part of the 1 percent. The powerful, insanely rich, and more often than not, borderline evil. You couldn’t become one of the 1 percent without selling a little of your soul.
He drove into underground parking at one of the most expensive hotels on the strip, forgoing the valet. We continued until we reached a shadowy edge of the lot, free of cars. When Jasper got out, I waited for him to open my door. He was cosplaying as a gentleman today.
I didn’t know what my role was, but I’d dressed to his instruction. The blood-red dress I was wearing was a halter, dipping lower in the front than I was partial to, my boobs spilling out to more than what was decent.
My hair was out in wild curls—which was rare for me, since I didn’t like how the espresso locks softened my face, making me look more feminine. Also, leaving my hair down made it easier for men to grab.