Untitled #3
"Anyway, he finally pays another five hundred dollars, and as we leave the store loaded down with even more bags, I turn to him and say, 'Hey, I agreed to this date because I really like you, and it has nothing to do with how much money you have.
' He stared at me blankly and was like, 'What are you talking about?
' I'm like, 'You just spent like, eight hundred dollars to make a fancy lunch or picnic for us.
' And he's like, 'This isn't just for one meal.
' And I was like, 'Oh, you're being presumptuous, aren't you?
' And he was like, 'What are you talking about?
' And I was like, 'You think I'm going to stay with you for the rest of the week?
' And he was like, 'Huh?' And I was like, 'Well, you got all this food, and it's not going to be for one meal.
' And he was like, 'This isn't my food.' And of course, I just stared at him in confusion and I'm like, 'What are you talking about?
I thought you were buying this for our date.
' He was like, 'We're doing Instacart shopping. '"
"No way!" Lila howls with laughter. Marie giggles loudly, and Juniper snorts like a pig, almost knocking her glasses off.
"No! He did not take you to work with him!" Lila's jaw drops.
"Yep. The date was us shopping and delivering the food.
" I roll my eyes. "And then after we drop off the food, my stomach is growling and he is like, 'Oh, sounds like you're hungry.
' And I was like, 'Yeah, I could definitely eat a bite', thinking he was going to take me out to get something to eat.
And he was like, 'Okay, well, I guess you should head home then and make yourself a sandwich because I got some more deliveries to do, but thanks for your help. We should do it again sometime.'"
I shake my head. "And can you believe he actually called me the next week asking if I wanted to meet up again?"
"He did not," Juniper says. "No way."
"He totally did," I say, shaking my head. "Anyway, that's the very last time I believed in love at first sight."
"She totally thought he was so amazing before that," Elisabetta says. "It was so sad. It was so, so sad."
"Yes, it was," I say. "But in other news, I think there is a hottie that wants to talk to me tonight." I nod toward the bar. The women all look at me.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. His name is Osprey and he was hitting on me as soon as I walked in."
"Oh, really?" Lila says. "Oh my gosh, did we cockblock you?"
"It's okay," I say, watching him at the bar. He's still there looking at his phone.
"He kept asking me about my stylist, and then he asked me if I was an actual redhead.
And I'm pretty sure he was asking that because he wanted to be me…
in a jeepers creepers way. Then I subconsciously thought he was like, oh, does the carpet match the drapes?
" I moan at the embarrassing memories. "And normally, I don't like it when guys ask that question, but he's so handsome that I’m willing to give my thoughts a pass. I know I watch too many horror movies, and it’s very unlikely that he’s Norman Bates.”
"He is really good-looking," Marie says.
"Yeah, he is. And it's kind of nice that he's so into me, even though I don't know if I really want him. He looks like he's better waxed than I am."
"He sure does look like he manscapes," Lila says with a slight nod.
"Yep," I say. "But maybe I'll flirt with him just a little bit because I've had the day from Hell."
"But at least you're getting to hang out with us," Elisabetta says. "And I'm so glad I got to meet you guys. You're so much fun."
"Thank you," Juniper says, and Lila grins.
"Oh, hold up," she says, holding her phone for us all to see. "Guess who's calling me?"
"Max," I say, groaning.
She laughs. "Do you mind if I take it?"
"Not at all," I say, shaking my head. "Someone might as well enjoy their love life."
"You'll meet someone soon. I mean, who knows? Maybe Osprey is the one."
"Maybe," I say, nodding and taking a sip of my rum and Coke. "Maybe I also need to get another round of drinks for everyone in a second and chat with him some more."
"Perfect," Marie says.
"Hey, honey," Lila says, answering the phone. "Just with the girls at The Owl and the Pussycat."
I watch her for a couple of seconds, nervous that she's going to invite them to join us. It's not like I don't like Max. I think he's fun, but I don't really want to see Kingston, especially after our conversation. I don't even want to be reminded about work.
I take another sip of my rum and Coke and think about my disastrous love life and my disastrous career.
"I'll be in Australia soon," I mumble to myself.
Soon I'll be traveling the world, and maybe I'll meet the love of my life in another country, I think, because he sure as hell doesn't seem to be living in New York City.
Unless Osprey is the one. I decide to head to the bar again to get my flirt on one last time.
If Osprey is the one, I have to give him an opportunity to let me know.