Chapter 44
Juniper
“You really have a way with kids, Juniper.” Remington sounds surprised as he glances at me.
I try to ignore the butterflies his intense look creates.
It should be illegal to be as good-looking as he is.
And there should be a hefty fine for the way my stomach is lurching while staring back at him.
I feel like I’m at an amusement park and about to go on a ride I’m both excited and dreading to go on. “Have you been around them a lot?”
“Not really,” I say, shaking my head and lifting my glass of lemonade to take a sip.
It’s too sweet, but I’m thirsty and need to do something with my hands.
“However, I do enjoy being around them, and well, your daughter is wonderful.” I look at him so that I can study his face to see how he takes my comment.
He takes a sip of his beer and nods nonchalantly.
He’s wearing a black shirt and black jeans, and he looks like a male model sitting there, so handsome and rogue-ish.
He’s the perfect inspiration for my villainous prince.
“I have to admit that she’s a breath of fresh air.” He gazes at me with such intensity that I take a larger gulp of my lemonade and start coughing. “Are you okay?” He leans forward, concern in his eyes as he looks me over. I nod quickly and swallow hard.
Do not stop breathing, Juniper. You do not want to explain why you fainted. Or why your heart is racing a million beats per minute. Get it together.
“Fine, thanks.” I look around the restaurant and over to the next table, where Canyon is playing a card game with another young girl she met. “Isn’t it so cool how kids can find friends any and everywhere?”
“It sure is.” He grins and takes another sip of his beer. “Kinda like how women can pick up men at any bar.”
“That’s not true.” I shake my head, wishing it was that easy for me.
“It is.” He licks his lips. “Don’t tell me you haven’t tried it?”
“I’m not really in the habit of going to bars to pick up men.”
“Where do you pick up your men, then?”
“I don’t.” I sip again furiously.
“Dating apps?” he prods, and I want to ask him why he wants to know, but I don’t. I’m not sure I could face it if he said he was just trying to make conversation and didn’t actually care about the answers.
“I have been on them,” I admit, though I’m not going to tell him about my many disastrous dates.
“And how is that going?”
“Great.” I nod. “I’ve met every loser on the Lower East Side as well as 99 percent of the losers in New Jersey.”
“You’ve been going on a lot of dates then.” He grins. “Unless there just aren’t many losers in the city.”
I’m grateful when the waiter approaches with two plates in his hands and places them on the table.
My stomach growls as I smell the juicy, sizzling meat of the cheeseburger before me.
I grab a fry off the plate, happy to feel that it is still hot and crispy.
I take a bite and try not to moan as the salty potato hits my mouth.
I love french fries, even though they are likely the reason I will never be under a size eight in clothes. Let alone a size zero.
"Would either of you like anything else?
" The waiter looks at me and then at Remington.
I shake my head, and Remington responds with, "No, thank you.
" He looks over at Canyon and then looks back at me.
"I can't believe she didn't want to get anything to eat.
Should I make her eat something?" he asks, and I shake my head slowly.
"I don't think so." I'm not really sure if that's the right answer, but she ate a grilled cheese sandwich earlier, and I didn't think we should force her to eat if she isn't hungry.
"So, back to your dating life, how is that going?" he says as he takes a bite of his burger.
"Why are we talking about my dating life ?" I say as I grab another fry. "I'm surprised that you don't want to talk about your dating life."
"My dating is very boring." He grins. "Plus, you already know all about it. I mean, you do send flowers for me and book my dates."
"About that…" I say casually and grab another fry. This is the opportunity for me to ask all the questions that have been in my mind for the last few months.
"Yeah?" he asks, looking at me with curious eyes.
“Why is it that you date so many different women?
Are you just not interested in a long-term relationship, or were you burned in the past?
" I pause. I can't believe I actually asked him that.
I hope he doesn't think I'm too nosy. He grabs a fry from his own plate, and I wonder if he's just going to ignore my question.
I want to sink into the ground. Maybe he thinks I've overstepped the invisible line of our relationship.
It's not like we're good friends or anything like that.
"I guess I just haven’t really ever wanted to be in a long-term relationship," he says finally and grabs another fry.
His brown eyes are clear as he gazes at me.
I don't see any anger or annoyance on his face, and that makes me feel better.
"It's not that I've been burned in the past. I've just never been in a serious relationship. "
"Wow, never? Not even in high school or college?"
"No," he says. "I mean, I dated, obviously. I've just never felt the itch to settle down."
I lower my voice and lean forward to ask my next question. "What about kids? Did you ever want them?" He stares back at me for a couple of seconds, looks over his shoulder to make sure that Canyon is still sitting there, and then looks back at me.
"I guess I always thought maybe one day I would have kids." He shrugs. "I didn't think I would end up having a kid and not know about her. I mean, I didn't think that I would have a kid because of a one-night stand."
"That makes sense. I guess most men don't expect that. But it still happens."
"Are you judging me?" he asks, with a raised eyebrow.
"What do you mean? Why would you ask that?"
"I don't know. I mean it seems pretty irresponsible to be a grown man finding out he has a kid."
"I wouldn't phrase it like that exactly."
"You can be honest with me. Do you think I'm a jerk?"
"Why would I think you're a jerk? It's not like you knew about her."
"Yeah, but the mere fact that I'm in this position may make you think poorly of me."
I shrug and grab my burger. "It's not for me to judge you."
"You're being nice, Juniper. You don't have to be. You can be honest with me. It's not like I'm going to fire you if you tell me I'm a jerk."
"I don't know that. Will you put it in writing?" I say teasingly.
"So you do think I'm a jerk, then?"
"No," I say quickly. "Why would you say that?"
"Because you don't want to answer the question, and I can only think that the reason you don't want to answer the question is because your feelings about me and the situation are negative."
"I wouldn't say they're negative," I say. "I mean, you do date a lot, but that's your business. From what I can tell, it's not like any of these women think they're in an exclusive relationship with you. And it's none of my business if you wear protection or not."
"I always wear protection," he says quickly.
His eyes bore into mine. "Canyon is a beautiful girl, and I love her as my daughter, but something obviously failed," he says, blinking at me.
"I don't make those mistakes. I've never made those mistakes, not even when I was first having sex.
" He pauses. "Have you ever had any situations where you made a mistake like that? "
I can feel my face going warm. I know what he's asking. I know he wants to know if I've ever had a pregnancy scare. I shake my head quickly.
"Well, good for you. Are you on birth control, or…?" I look down and flush. I cannot believe he's asking me this. Why is he asking me this?
"Sorry, I overstepped," he says quickly. "I shouldn't have asked you that."
"It's okay," I say, my voice squeaking like a mouse. I want to slap myself at how I sound.
"No, I never want to make you uncomfortable, Juniper.
I know that we've never really interacted outside of the office, and for that, I'm sorry.
You're my assistant, a great one, and I wish I had taken more of an interest in you personally before this.
I don't want you to feel like I'm just using you to help me with Canyon. "
"I mean, if you hadn't found out about Canyon, would we really be here?" I ask honestly. It's his turn to flush and look slightly ashamed.
"Maybe not," he says honestly. And I'm grateful for that because if he had lied, I would have respected him a little bit less.
"It's okay. I mean, I'm sure that you were out of your mind when you found out. But it'll be okay. I mean, it's not like you're a single dad."
"I feel like a single dad,” he says. “I mean, her mom's not here."
"Yes, but just because her mom's not here in person, you still have her to turn to for advice. They speak every day, right?"
"Yeah. Karen has made sure to call several times, and they have really long conversations. I know they miss each other, but it's been okay so far."
"See? Plus, sometimes it's good for a girl to have her dad.
She gets to have this one-on-one time with you.
Make up for lost time when you weren't in her life.
" I think about my own father then. I feel bad that I've missed our date.
I'll call him when I leave the restaurant. Maybe see if he wants to go to dinner.
"Hey, you look like your brain went a million miles away. Is everything okay?"
"Yes, sorry. I was just thinking about my dad. I was supposed to grab lunch with him yesterday, but you know, I went to help you, and I missed it.”
“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to interfere with your plans. Though, I’m very grateful that you made the time for me.”
“You’re welcome, even though I’m surprised you didn’t call one of your many women friends.”
“Oh, no way," he says quickly. "Definitely not."