Chapter 59
Elisabetta
Elisabetta in the City
Hey all,
Benji told me to meet him at a McDonalds in Times Square on Broadway. I know what you’re thinking... Two red flags in the very first sentence. His name being Benji should have told me he was a dog, and McDonald’s on a first date... Who does that?
To be fair, I thought we were just meeting outside of the McDonald’s, but no, he escorted me inside and said I could choose any three items off of the value menu.
When I looked at him aghast...in my thousand-dollar Manolo Blahniks and my seven thousand-dollar Bottega Veneta jeans, he had the gall to say that he was testing me to make sure I wasn't after his money.
Benji had just moved here from BFE, also known as Abilene, Kansas, and was working as the assistant to the assistant of the marketing manager at one of the top five ad agencies...hardly impressive to me.
I played along, though, because he did have the most gorgeous baby blue eyes and silky blond hair. He reminded me of a not-as-hot Brad Pitt.., and I figured maybe his flirt game would be good—or at least his tongue...a girl has needs.
His flirt game was awful. He asked me if I wanted to go back to his place for dessert to nibble on his lollipop. When I asked for a $1 apple pie... let's just say I didn’t waste my chocolate milkshake. It ended up over his head.
So, yeah, date #23 of the year went shit.
And I didn’t even get to complain to my best friend and roommate, Skye, because she was too busy sucking her boyfriend’s lollipop at his apartment. To be clear, I do not know if she was engaging in fellatio, but I feel like being crude and rude right now.
I’m meeting my friends for drinks at a hot new bar downtown, and I’m hoping to meet some hot, tall, dark man to sweep me off my feet and show me the way to naughtyville. I’ve been a good girl for too many months now.
Some of you commented on my last post and wanted to know what song I was blasting nonstop as I swiped, and I have to admit that it’s an oldie, but goody... “Elastic Heart” by Sia.
I may go and listen to it again before I get ready to get drunk AF tonight.
As always, I will update you on the goings on in my life soon.
Always,
Elisabetta in the city
COMMENTS
LisaFranklin1962: Elisabetta, I was hoping this date would have gone better, but I bet your prince charming is out there waiting. Have fun tonight.
Sassy123: Benji sounds like a doofus.
StuckinDesmoines: I would love shoes that cost more than $30. I’m living vicariously through you.
FashiondivainBrooklyn: I am one of your new subscribers. Love your blog. Can’t wait to read all of your posts.
Hotdude1969: I have a lollipop you can lick as well, if you want...