18. Hang on What in the name of Olissa’s tits was that?
18
Hang on: What in the name of Olissa’s tits was that?
Kaine
I sat up as Talon started snoring, throwing him a reproachful look. But, well, it was classic enferni. He’d snore until his tongue had fully settled. Plus, he did look very cute when he was asleep—a big mound of muscle breathing gently, his silvery hair falling on his face and sticking on his lip. I guess I’d forgive him. My face relaxed, my mind replaying the events of the night.
Hmm.
Things may have just gotten a teeny, tiny bit out of control. I took my necklace in my hand, running my thumb around the smooth edges.
I sighed. This would require thinking and reflection, two things I hated doing. But I did need to figure this out.
I’d been convinced Talon was planning to kill me. It was nice to find out that I was mistaken. Apparently, almost dying was what I’d needed to change his mind. So, he’d gotten to play nurse, and he’d practically bared his soul to me, and it had done something strange. I’d found myself blabbing about my past. My pain. Not part of the plan.
As for the physical parts…
I looked at him again, admiring his massive shoulders, the veins climbing up his forearm. The curve of his tall horns. It was probably for the best that he didn't live among other enferni. His wings and horns were enough to stir up a lot of jealous trouble.
Drinking his blood was a given. Especially after he’d confirmed he was one of the enferni who’d triggered Mirilith’s fervour. Their blood was practically sacred to maoferni. It was burning hot, dark, and always brimming with electric energy.
That had been my plan; to crawl over to him once he’d fallen asleep and take some blood. I hadn’t had a choice. It was that or die. My thumb slipped off the back of the locket, creating an uneven streak of pressure on my knuckle. I matched it on the other side before continuing.
So, why did I feel so guilty about it now? It must have been his whole bit about I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to . A luxury I’d not been able to offer or receive with anyone before.
I could tell he was intrigued, so I’d planted the idea of biting him and pretended to leave. I’d planned to tease him again, watch his lovely face redden and hear his heart pound before I bit him. He squirmed more than a rat on a hot griddle when I so much as looked at him, and it was well known that fighting and fucking were the two things that made Mirilith’s blood particularly potent .
But it was way too early to actually be whipping out dicks. I was supposed to be stringing him on for much longer.
I’d managed to walk away the other night, despite the kiss, despite his doe-like eyes begging me to fuck him. I’d thought I had this.
But then he’d gazed down at me with his blue-in-black eyes and breathed my name and begged for me, and I was so screwed because it was the hottest thing I’d seen in three hundred years.
Wasn’t it?
I considered it.
…Yeah.
Definitely.
That’s why I’d made him do it again. He was the perfect package. A huge, menacing wall of muscle who craved dominance. I was more than happy to oblige.
I let go of my necklace and folded my hands behind my head, frowning. I glanced at him again. Something about Talon had pulled down my defences, had me sharing when it was stupid to, had me fucking him when that wasn’t the plan.
Shit, I needed to figure out what it was because I had to decide if I was going to kill him tonight.
I needed help. I glanced at where Nidori was sleeping. I didn’t want to wake her, but what would she say?
Nidori, I think I should kill Talon.
What!? Don’t kill him. He’s so pretty!
Yes, he was gorgeous. Big (and that was an understatement), strong, fierce, with iron-black horns and dusky skin. Don’t get me started on his dick. And his tongue... it had been far, far too long since I’d enjoyed oral like that.
Even when he had knelt, his wings had spread down around him like a submissive cloak. I had been looking forward to seeing his massive form kneel in front of me. His tongue, slipping out, swelling. People here didn’t consider lisps sexy, but that’s because they didn’t know what they could mean.
Sorry, sweetheart, that’s not a good reason not to kill someone. He could be dangerous.
But he’s so nice! He wouldn’t hurt us!
That was also true.
His apology… It was ridiculous how insecure he was, how sure he was the problem. When he’d found out I had Nidori, I’d thought that was it. He hated me.
But he…didn’t? He was an open book. Anything he felt, it showed on his face. His temperature soared when he got turned on, and his tail gave him away, lashing in impatience if I teased him.
And his safe word. I hadn’t used one before, but it was kind of thrilling to truly know everything I did, he was fully enjoying. And that I could tell him if he was too much.
He could still want to hurt us.
Even though he’s actually saved your life twice now?
She had a good point. I thought back to the cliff, how he hadn’t hesitated to save me. Patiently held me as I panicked. How sturdy he had felt as I clung to him, silently begging him to keep going. How safe I’d felt.
And when he’d found me later, close to death, I was sure he’d end me there. But he didn’t.
He’s not going to hurt us. He trusts us. And you trust him too.
I froze, heart hammering as I glanced at him again. The world seemed to spin, and blood pounded in my ears as I tried to reconcile the insane thought pretend Nidori had just given me.
Nope.
No way.
That couldn’t be it.
See, this was why thinking was fucking idiotic. I produced stupid, dangerous ideas like that.
Try again, Nidori. Give me a less crazy reason I shouldn’t kill him.
Fine. You really, really want him to be yours.
Thank the Gods for pretend Nidori. Yes. That made so much more sense.
I was free, finally, after three hundred years of bondage and compulsion, and I needed control back. Nidori was a powerful addition, and Talon would be too. Another hellspawn. A strange one, though. He behaved so perfectly. Other enferni with hot blood were unhinged in bed—aggressive, domineering. I could see that temptation bubbling under the surface, but he shoved it down. Submitted to me.
I wanted to own him again. Wanted him beneath me, his body shaking with need from my touch. I wanted to see him lose control again as he had tonight, his desire too powerful for him to manage. I wanted him to beg for me again.
That was all it was, nothing else.
Nothing else was possible if I wanted to live . Even if he wasn’t going to kill me now, he was another champion. Chances were, we’d be against each other sooner or later.
All right. I’ll let him live for now. Thanks, Nidori.
Nidori. Innocent Nidori, who almost broke down over the lives of two strangers. Who believed me when I said they were sleeping. Who thought I had married her. What a ridiculous mistake.
I glanced over at her sleeping form. She lay in one of my spare shirts since she couldn’t grow a nest in here. She was curled up, just a thin layer of fabric covering her. She must be cold—she usually slept inside an insulated orb. I reached out, gently placing the corner of my jacket over her as a blanket. For a moment, I imagined she was truly my wife. Not a ward or a slave or another contract. My princess.
So silly. The thought warmed me to my toes, sending an unsettling lightness through me.
Talon said I had to tell her, but maybe I didn’t? If I never used the compulsion, never commanded her, she’d never have to know. I could do that.
He'd also said I should let her go. And I may have… misled him slightly there when I said I couldn't. Technically speaking, I did have the power to release her bond. But I meant it when I said I couldn't. Even now, the thought made me break out in a cold sweat, panic swirling in my belly. I couldn't. Then she wouldn't be mine any more; and she might leave.
I gently used my finger to move a stray braid out of her face. She smiled in her sleep, and I smiled too.
Never.
The thought turned my mind back to Cassandra. She’d likely be travelling north right now, visiting Ajax to get him to find me. I was very glad I was not his payment this time. Though, perhaps, she’d still promise to bring me to him after. My stomach turned.
It was a long trip north, and then she’d have to travel all the way back south. I was likely safe. For now.