8. Noel
8
Noel
W hen they arrived at the nursing home, there were only a few cars in the lot, and most of those were in the employee parking section. Granted, it was the middle of a work week, but Noel had a feeling that it wasn’t the kind of place where visitors lingered.
He offered Aunt Gigi an arm, and they headed inside the security door—a staff member named Sadie had to open it from the inside—then they filled out the visitor check-in form. Sadie recognized his aunt, but when she saw the name on Noel’s form, she looked up at him with wide, surprised eyes.
Noel looked nothing like his father; he knew that. His mother’s genes were strong in him, and even though he’d often wished he’d gotten at least some of Bruno’s solid German bulk, it was not to be. Noel was of average height, naturally lean, his thick, straight hair without a hint of the curls his father had. He had his mother’s features, too, and, according to her, he had her father’s hands. Noel’s hazel eyes, and perhaps something in the angle of his jaw, gave some evidence to Bruno’s parentage, but every time he looked at his own reflection, he was relieved not to see anymore of his father staring back at him.
“I’m Noel Stewart. Bruno’s son,” he said, smiling pleasantly at the young woman. It irked him to hear the mountain twang slipping back into his words, something he'd worked so hard to eradicate, but he figured maybe here, back in his hometown, it might work in his favor.
“You’re his son?” Sadie questioned, frowning a little as she studied him. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
Great. So now he was being judged for not visiting over the last three years. He hadn’t even considered the likelihood of that kind of response. He had a sinking feeling that no defense he could offer would redeem him in the aide’s eyes, so he simply said, “I am.”
“Our Noel here travels all over the country for work, Sadie. He comes when he can,” Aunt Gigi interjected before Noel could come up with some polite defense. “Now, are you going to let us in? Or do we have to pass a private screening?”
Noel tried not to gawk at his aunt, unprepared for her brusque rebuke to the girl. But when he saw the warning look on her face, he stayed quiet.
“Sorry, Miss Gigi,” Sadie mumbled, ducking her head to avoid the older woman’s glare. “I’ll let Debbie know you’re here. Mr. Stewart had kind of a rough night. He’s not… you know. Not feeling his best today.” Sadie looked about ready to cry, but she squared her shoulders and added, “Debbie told me to check with her before anyone goes in his room.”
“I’m sure she meant anyone but me,” Gigi said, planting one hand on her hip. “So don’t make me get feisty with you.”
Noel blinked rapidly and dropped his gaze to his feet. He had to press his lips together to keep his grin locked down tight. His aunt was already far feistier than he’d seen her in a very long time. Poor Sadie.
“I’m sorry, Miss Gigi. I’m sure you know how he can be—”
Noel cleared his throat. This wasn’t going well, and he had to intervene, quick, before his aunt said or did something she might regret. “It’s fine, Aunt Gigi. If he’s not up for a visit, maybe it’s better that we try another time.”
Gigi turned to Noel with a frown. “Another time? Honey, that man is clean out of time. He asked to see you. You’re here. We’re here.” To Sadie, she said, “We’re willing to brave Bruno’s bad mood, you hear?”
One of Sadie’s hands rested on the communication device clipped to her hip, her fingers toying nervously with the buttons. Noel could tell she desperately wanted to call for backup, but was too afraid to do so in the face of Aunt Gigi’s… feistiness.
To his aunt, he said, “It might not be a bad idea to have Debbie give him a heads up, especially since I’m here.”
Sadie, who apparently knew not to pull rank on Gigi, waited for the older woman to agree. Finally, his aunt let out an exasperated huff. “Well, I suppose. But our time is valuable, so please let Debbie know that we’re well aware of what Bruno’s ugly side looks like. And I’m not talking about his backside. I mean, his ugly inside.”
Sadie turned away to avoid Gigi’s steely gaze and paged Debbie.
It took three tries, but Debbie, sounding frazzled, finally responded. “Yes? I’m in the middle of something here.”
“Miss Gigi and her—um, Mr. Stewart’s son are here to see him.”
Debbie didn’t respond immediately, then asked, “Mr. Stewart’s son?”
Noel heard a gruff voice, loud and insistent in the background, before the sound cut off. The devices apparently worked more like walkie-talkies than a cellphone.
Several long moments of empty static sounded over the radio before Debbie responded. “I’ll be right there. Have them wait in the lounge, will you?”
After seeing the trepidation on the attendant’s face and the disgruntled expression on his aunt’s, Noel took the bull by the horns. “Let’s go sit, Aunt Gigi. Sadie, is it possible to get a couple glasses of water?” He wasn’t thirsty, but the girl seemed to be waiting to be excused.
“Sure. Yes. Absolutely.” Relief softened the fear in the young woman’s eyes, and Noel gestured for his aunt to go ahead of him into the somewhat dated but clean and cozy lounge. There was an enormous fireplace on one wall, and although it was no longer functional, presumably for safety reasons, the massive mantle was decorated with framed photos of the residents, and a large floral arrangement sat on the hearth in front of the grate.
Aunt Gigi dropped unceremoniously into one of the overstuffed armchairs and crossed her arms.
“Hey, Aunt Gigi, it’s okay. He may not be up for a visit from me today, and I’m okay with that.” Noel hoped to soothe her spirits with his gentle words, but truth be told, he wasn’t going to be upset if today’s visit didn’t happen.
Aunt Gigi crossed her arms and made a noise in the back of her throat. “Well, you may be okay with it, but that doesn’t mean I have to be.” When she got emotional, especially when she was angry, her Appalachian twang got heavier. “Your daddy doesn’t have much time left, and I think he’s finally admitting that to himself. He was sincere when he told me he wanted to see you, and I’m holding him to it. There is nothing left to him in this world except for you, Noel Stewart.”
“And you,” Noel countered. “You’ve been good to him.”
“Yep, and he don’t deserve me, neither. But that’s family, honey. And now here we are, and that little whippersnapper ain’t going to tell us we can’t see him. That’s all there is to it.”
“She was just doing what she’d been told,” he said softly.
“Well, I told her to do something different.” Gigi harrumphed and turned to glare out a window that looked out onto the parking lot.
Sadie, carrying a tray of drinks, entered the room and paused in the taut silence. “Um, I brought you coffee and water. I hope that’s okay,” she said, directing her words at Noel.
He rose, took the tray from her, and set it on the coffee table in front of his aunt. “That’s perfect.”
“Do you need anything else?”
“We need Debbie, that’s what else,” Aunt Gigi snapped, giving the young attendant a narrowed-eye glare.
“We’re fine.” Noel handed his aunt one of the large-handled ceramic mugs with its matching saucer. “Thank you for the drinks.”
Sadie pivoted on her heel and practically fled the room.
“So, what is the beef between you two?” Noel asked, lowering back to the sofa with a glass of icy water. The one sip of coffee he’d dared to drink had made his jaw tighten reflexively at how bitter it was. Gigi could have his cup if she made it through hers and still wanted more.
“That Sadie girl put in Bruno’s medical records that he was violent and aggressive, and they had to file an abuse report. He almost got kicked out of here because of her.”
“You didn’t tell me about this.” Noel’s brows furrowed in concern.
“I didn’t tell you about it because it was a lie, and I was able to sort it all out on my own.”
“She lied?” he asked dubiously. He knew his father, and 'violent and aggressive' seemed about right to him.
“An exaggeration, Noel.” Gigi rolled her eyes. “I know your daddy is a mean ol’ cuss, but he can barely lift his own head anymore. He needs help, and if girls like Sadie ain’t equipped to provide the kind of help he needs, well, who can blame him for getting upset? But violent and aggressive? And supposedly unprovoked, she claimed.”
Noel frowned and said, “That doesn’t seem so out of character for Bruno. He’s far more than just a mean ol’ cuss, Aunt Gigi.”
“I talked to him, Noel. I can understand him better than pretty much anyone here. He told me he needed help getting over to his bedside commode. But when he pushed his help button, that Sadie girl just went in there and reset it, telling him she’d be back to help him shortly. That happened four times in a row.” She held up four gnarled fingers. “Four times. And every time, she just turned the call light off, promised she’d be back, and left him practically bursting at the seams. Which is exactly what he did.”
Noel eyed her skeptically. “He burst at the seams?”
His aunt snorted with disgust. “He finally just soiled the bed right under him. Then he pushed that button again, and when she waltzed in all in a tizzy and started berating him for the mess he’d made, he grabbed her wrist and told her she’d better not leave him lying in his own filth if she knew what was good for her.” Aunt Gigi grabbed her own wrist and shook it gently to demonstrate. “That’s what she called violent and aggressive, Noel. His desperation for a little respect. Unprovoked, my great Aunt Tilly.”
Her voice had grown tight, and Noel realized she was more than just angry.
“Old age, dementia, strokes like your daddy’s, the way these bodies just break down and give up before we hit the finish line? It’s a crime against humanity.” Her words came out ragged and raw. “We are stripped of our dignity in ways we have no control over, and then some empty-headed young thing waltzes in and—and witnesses our utter frailty, then mocks it by not caring enough to try to understand? People like that Sadie girl just don’t get it, Noel.”
Noel sat forward in mute dismay. He held out his hand, palm up, relieved when she placed her own in his. He squeezed her fingers gently, at a loss for words that might comfort her.
“I know I’m next, Noel. I know it. But my daily prayer to the good Lord is that he takes me in the middle of the night while I’m asleep in my own bed, in my own house, all my faculties intact. I don’t want to end up in a place like this with no one looking out for my dignity.”
“I’ll always look out for you,” Noel insisted, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. Her skin felt shockingly thin and fragile under his touch. When had that happened? “And if you don’t want to end up here, then I’ll hire someone to move in with you and take care of you at home, if that’s what you want. Or you can come live with me.” He meant it. He’d make a place for Gigi in his life, if that’s what she needed. He owed her so much more than that.
Gigi pressed her lips together, her eyes glistening with emotion. Noel couldn’t remember ever seeing his aunt cry, and this was probably as close to it as she’d get in public, if he knew her at all. Finally, she said, “You’re a good boy, Noel. But you know as well as I do that I don’t want to live or die anywhere but in this here holler. And live with you?” She tsked and shook her head, then pulled her hand free so she could pick up her mug of coffee. “No, thank you. Besides, you still have to figure out who you are without the shadow of…” She glanced down the hall that led to the residents’ rooms. “Of all of this hanging over your head. I’m a part of your once was. I have no place in your what will be.”
She said it so gently, so tenderly, that Noel couldn’t even be offended by it. He didn't bother contradicting her, but as far as he was concerned, Aunt Gigi would always be a part of his life, even long after she was gone from this earth. “What happened with Sadie?” he asked, changing the subject. “She obviously didn’t lose her job. Was there no disciplinary action taken?”
Gigi’s shoulders squared, and her chest swelled with indignation. “What happened with her? Nothing, I tell you. They called me in and told me I needed to start looking for another place for your daddy, that they weren’t equipped for that kind of behavior in their residents. Well, I refused to sign anything until I went down and spoke to Bruno. He told me what had happened, and I marched back down to the main office and told them I’d file a report of my own, and I’d start talking. They changed their tune pretty quick, let me tell you. Didn’t want me doing that, as you can imagine. I have a big mouth in this town, don’t you know it.”
Noel nodded slowly, his heart full of pride and love for his truly feisty aunt.
“Eventually, I heard they had a little chat with that Sadie girl,” she said, scowling again. She did so every time she referenced ‘that Sadie girl.’ “She got some kind of slap on the wrist and had to go through some dumb class on bedside manner or something or other, but they put her right back on the floor caring for patients." Aunt Gigi shook her head in frustration. "I don’t want anyone to lose their job, mind you. It’s tough to make ends meet in this life, I’m well aware. Besides, nursing homes like these are always understaffed. But I put my foot down about her not being allowed to work with Bruno. That was right about the time Debbie hired on, and it’s been much better since then.”
“Thank you, Aunt Gigi,” Noel said, his voice rough with emotions. “I don’t know what we Stewarts would do without you.”
“I’m a Stewart, too, honey. I was a Stewart long before you came into this world.”
“Family,” he murmured.
“Family.”
A tall nurse in bright pink scrubs, her blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head, swept into the room on a cloud of antibacterial handwash as she rubbed her hands vigorously together. “Hi, Miss Gigi. How are you?” she asked, her movements brisk, economical. All business, this one, Noel decided. Without waiting for an answer from his aunt, the nurse turned to him. “You must be Bruno’s son. Noel, right?”
He rose and shook her hand in greeting, then offered Gigi a hand up out of her chair.
“I’m Debbie. Your father’s charge nurse. His cough kept him up last night, so he’s in rough shape.” The look she gave Noel made him tense; it wasn’t going to be good news. “He’s refusing to see anyone. I’m sorry. I know you’ve come a long way.”
Noel wasn’t surprised one bit. Nor was he disappointed. Not really. Why had he believed, even for a second, that the man who’d hated his very existence all his life would now be interested in reconnecting? Preposterous. Ridiculous. Absurd. Fool. The words danced and spun like mean-spirited imps in his head.
“Debbie,” Aunt Gigi began, but the nurse held up a hand and shook her head.
“Miss Gigi, I’ve been in that room with him for the better part of an hour and he’s in no condition to have visitors today. I think you know me well enough to trust that I wouldn’t say so if it weren’t true.”
Noel looked back and forth between the two women, wondering if his aunt would get “all feisty” with Debbie, too. He, on the other hand, wasn’t about to argue, and not just because Debbie clearly knew what she was doing and who she was dealing with.
If Bruno didn’t want to see him, that was just fine with Noel.