Chapter 15
Chapter
Fifteen
F riday
Tonight was not to be a date as such. I was going out with Ben, who was about to help me scratch an itch that I had had for a long time. Actually, that was a bad choice of words, considering where we were going.
Like everyone (I was guessing), I had always fantasised about multiple sexual partners at the same time. Anyway, the long and short of it was that Ben intended to take me to my first and probably last swinger’s night.
Obviously, he was an old hand at this. I’d seen the details on the website, and apparently, you could just turn up and get signed in by a member.
Ben and I had never had sex, and I’m 100% convinced that I was friend-zoned (largely due to the fact that he told me this several times).
Still, with the help of a few Whisky Macs, I reckoned I could smash through that barrier in this particular scenario.
There was undoubtedly some form of sexual chemistry between the two of us, and maybe tonight something might happen, particularly as we were masquerading as a couple.
So, of course, the lube and condoms were loaded into my man bag.
The party was in Kent and in a place which was only accessible by driving.
They didn't serve alcohol as it was a ‘bring your own booze’ type affair.
I decided to drive in the end, so that meant no drinking, although there was the option of hiring a tiny cabin for ￡40.
Still, at least not drinking phased out any risk of ‘whisky dick’.
I was determined to make the most of tonight.
I had no idea what to expect, so I was extremely grateful to have a chaperone.
Ben looked smokin’ hot. He was dressed in tight leather trousers, a frilly shirt, leather collar and long Gothic coat.
I couldn't keep my eyes off of his thick, solid oak-like thighs in the passenger seat of my car.
I was up for all sorts of mischief this evening.
He was pretty relaxed, chewing away on what smelled like Juicy Fruit tabs for the whole journey.
After driving down country lanes that became narrower and narrower the further away from London we travelled, we finally arrived at the sex club. It was a huge mansion with an electric gate and everything. It looked like the bee’s bollocks.
We pulled into the car park to find a few people milling outside, smoking and vaping on the veranda.
There were no labels attached to tonight’s event with regard to sexuality, so everybody was there to simply devour whoever they fancied.
I have to say, it was all deliciously hedonistic. Let’s just say I was well up for it.
There was a group of guys hanging out on the veranda when we walked up to the main building, who all seemed to be a lot older than us.
They were dressed wearing nothing but towels.
I should have mentioned that it was very parky as well, so the fact that there wasn’t a goose pimple between them meant that they were probably as hard as the erections that one or two of them would be walking around with in the not-too-distant future.
There were a couple of ladies out on the porch, also skimpily clad, trotting around in their corsets and heels. I sensed that all my inhibitions would have to be left in the car park if I were to integrate successfully here.
Ben seemed to know quite a few people, and it appeared to be one of his friend’s birthdays.
Somebody had gone to the trouble of bringing a cake as well.
The cake was one of those Sara Lee ones and still needed a good hour or so of defrosting according to a woman called Mel who had given it a poke or two. Shame, I used to like those.
We settled down with a bottle of Fanta each and shared a table with a couple who had bottles of green fluorescent energy drinks parked in front of them. They were obviously in it for the long haul.
Inside, there was a large seating area with a dancefloor, and as I was taken on a tour, I discovered much more. There was a unisex changing room with a couple of Jacuzzis in it, and a labyrinth of rooms in the west-wing, all with their own specific rules. This was not a place for the bashful.
Firstly, we strolled into the ‘Couples’ room’.
I felt that I had the authority to go in as I was with Ben.
You weren’t allowed in there without a partner.
Secondly, there was a room where basically anybody could stand around and watch a couple have sex.
Needless to say, it was surrounded by scarily leathery, naked men, all of them thumbing their softies.
Then there were a couple of private rooms, and one with a stable door type affair where the couple could opt for opening the top half of the door for passing voyeurs if they were feeling brave.
When we went back into the main hall, everyone was suddenly naked. Therefore, there was no more fucking about; it was now time for me to hurriedly change into a towel.
Ben said he’d meet me outside for a cigarette, so I frantically stuffed all of my clothes into a locker and ran outside barefoot. As an amateur, I did not have the foresight to bring flip-flops or sliders, so I found myself repeatedly picking cigarette butts out from between my toes.
I found Ben chatting to Frank, a builder from Meopham who was actually the birthday boy.
He was one of the most alpha males that I’ve ever met in my life.
He had an absolutely stunning wife, who was dressed in a corset, six-inch heels, and decorated with an extremely generous quantity of beautifully drawn tattoos.
Frank seemed to be in the middle of telling Ben a story, flicking his vape into an ashtray for some bizarre reason.
His wife received a barrage of WhatsApp messages judging by the orchestra of trumpet alerts her phone was parping out as she chugged away on her Lambert & Butler menthol, using the ashtray legitimately.
Ben signalled for us to go inside, and so we did. We sat in a booth with a few other people and immediately I noticed that a woman was eyeing me as if to suggest that she wanted to have sex with me. “I love your chest,” she said.
Although this woman also had a magnificent chest, alas, it was not the sort of chest I was attracted to, so I thanked her with a tight-lipped smile.
“Come on,” said Ben, dragging me away from the main room .
I wanted to question him, but was too nervous to ask what was about to happen.
“Okay, we need to break you in. You just look out of your depth here, so I reckon if I give you a blowy, you’ll loosen up a bit,” said Ben, pulling me towards him, his breath warming my forehead.
“Fine,” I whined, craning my neck to look up at him as his boots had quite the heel on them.
The room he took me into was fairly empty, and we headed over to an enormous bed that was covered in a PVC sheet for completely obvious reasons.
I perched on the side of the bed. Before I knew it, my towel was off and Ben was on his knees, but as soon as his teeth bit into the condom wrapper, I looked up and saw the person I would least like to see in this environment, peering into the room: My boss––Neil. Shit.
From the way Ben paused, looking at me, he could tell I’d seen a ghost—or worse.
Before I even attempted to process how this glitch in the matrix had possibly occurred, my erection was no more.
“What the fuck?” quizzed Ben, hooded eyes looking up at me.
There was an audible disappointed murmur from the now dispersing crowds, as one couple vacated to one of the surrounding beds to get busy themselves while the rest of them just left the room. “My boss. I just saw my boss. Sorry, Ben. I mean, if you saw this guy, you’ll see why that put me off.”
Ben tutted and shook his head. “Well, I’m fucking horny now. I’m gonna have to find someone else.”
“Fine, I totally understand, but I’ve gotta get out of here. Meet you in the car later?”
“Whatever. ”
The breeze from the force of his wave almost shoved me away.
I peered out into the main hall and saw Neil standing there, but with a woman.
This woman was also someone I recognised.
My actual mother! This could scarcely get any worse, or weirder.
There was a chance Neil wouldn’t have made my face out in the darkness of that room, so I could still be in the clear.
Bottom line was, I needed to get out of here and without either of them clocking me.
A tsunami of panic ensued. I ran back into the couples’ room and briefed Ben about the situation that was rapidly escalating, explaining that I had to leave immediately .
This disgruntled him a lot as he seemed to have secured a bit of action with a fellow kinkster, who was kitted out like a kind of rubber Pope.
Ben frustratingly wiped his lubed fingers on a sheet and followed me out of the room.
I ran to the changing room, grabbed my bundle of clothes from my locker and decided to get changed in the steam room so that there’d be little to no chance of being seen. It was a near impossible task––mostly because there were no less than three couples getting busy with their business in there.
After stepping on at least three bare feet and catching lord knows how many verrucas, I made my apologies and took flight out of the patio doors at the back of the venue, writing off my locker key and towel deposit. I dragged Ben with me and we scurried away to my car.
“Your mum and your boss?” said Ben.
“Yes. Together.”
“Surely you discovering them here is worse?”
I couldn’t decide whether or not he was right. However, I had a more pressing issue on my mind: a wheel clamp.
“What the actual fuck?” I cried.
“Oh. You didn't get a parking permit?” said Ben .
“I didn't know I’d need one. Why would you need one, anyway? It’s a fucking locked gate. Fuck!” I said, feeling all of the blood from my body fill up my face.
“Oh, it’s one of their rules. It’s a free car park, but you still have to display a permit.”
“Shitting hell. Why? How’s anyone gon…. fuck it. How are we gonna sort this out? I can’t go back in there, and if my car gets stuck here, I am fucked. WE are fucked.”
“What do you mean, I’m fucked?”
I thought about it for a second.
“Okay, this isn’t nearly as bad for you as it is for me. In fact, it isn’t at all bad for you, but please help me out here,” I begged.
“We could ask your mum for a lif…”
“Do not even … argh! How are we gonna get home? Plus, my mum might see my car. Shit. That’s if she hasn't already. Oh, for fuck’s sake. This is horrible. Horrible.”
Ben calmed me down and said he’d go and speak to some bloke called Tel to sort it out. Fortunately, Tel came out quite quickly but said that I’d still have to pay ￡100 to get the clamp released. Then he started banging on about how clearly the notice at reception was displayed.
Of course, I couldn’t risk going in there and verifying this, so had to send Ben in with my cash card and PIN number to mop up this horrific mess.
I was waiting in the car park for about 20 minutes before he reappeared.
I knew that he must have had some action while he was back in there, but I chose not to bring it up until we were back on the road and out of there.
“Here’s your parking permit anyway,” he said, smirking.
I screwed it up and chucked it down on the passenger seat floor in a rage.
There was an awkward silence for most of the journey and I had a feeling that this was going to be the last I saw of Ben––at least for a while anyway. I dropped him home and he said goodbye with a pursed smile.
“Speak soon,” he said, kissing his fingers and sliding them down my cheek without even a glimmer of eye-contact, before disappearing into the night, leaving me alone and painfully unfulfilled.