Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
PRETENDERS, “DON’T GET ME WRONG”
Eve
Freedom wasn’t a strong enough word, but it was close enough.
The grounding ended. They returned the phone to my room. And I was permitted to hang out at the creek with the promise or threat that one of my parents might check up on me unannounced.
Thankfully, Erin’s fever broke just in time to attend Sunday morning service, because I was desperate to tell her about Kyle.
We sat in the front of the choir. Worth noting: I was a terrible singer, and so was Erin. However, after my oldest sister Sarah (the singer in the family) left Devil’s Head, my dad decided he needed one of his daughters to be in the choir like a Jacobson family mascot. My younger sister Gabby was next in line as soon as I figured out the best way to make it on my own outside of small-town Missouri. Erin was not obligated to be in the choir but joined it to keep me company or share in the misery—a true best friend.
“I have so much to tell you. It’s been torture not having a phone in my room,” I said as we watched the congregation file into the church in little groups, like ants at a picnic, deciding which crumbs to tackle first.
“What’s it about?”
“Our new neighbor is a single dad. I don’t know his age, but I’d guess late twenties. His older brother and my dad are best friends. And he’s the new math teacher and football coach. And he is so, so, so hot.”
Erin’s brows shot up her forehead, hiding behind her big, blond bangs. “Dang it. Why couldn’t he have come here a year earlier and been our math teacher?”
“I know.” I covered my mouth to muffle my giggle. “I think he’s going to let me babysit his five-year-old son after school.”
“What happened to his wife?”
Just as I started to speak, Kyle and Josh walked up the aisle and sat next to the Smiths.
“Good morning,” my dad said, resting his hands on both sides of the lectern. “Let us pray.”
After prayer, the choir sang the opening hymn and I whispered in Erin’s ear as we sat down, “See the blond guy and little boy next to the Smiths?”
Erin nodded.
“That’s my neighbor and his son.”
She squeezed my hand while pressing her other hand to her chest, confirming what I already knew. Kyle was the hottest guy in Devil’s Head, maybe in all of Missouri.
Whenever he looked at me, I shifted my attention to my dad because it was too much to handle. He and Josh wore matching navy suits, white button-downs, and robin-egg blue ties.
“I’ve died and gone to Heaven,” Erin whispered.
I pressed my lips together so my knowing grin didn’t swallow my entire face.
After the service, Erin and I hung up our choir robes in the closet next to my dad’s office and joined my parents and the rest of the congregation in the churchyard.
“If you can’t babysit for him …” Erin said.
“I can do it. He’s my neighbor, not yours.”
She giggled. “I gotta go. It’s my mom’s birthday, and we’re having a big family dinner.”
I nodded, barely registering what she said while I focused on my parents talking with Kyle. “Bye,” I mumbled to Erin.
Kyle eyed me over my dad’s shoulder as I wormed through the crowd.
“You look so handsome,” I said when Josh smiled at me with recognition.
“Thanks,” Kyle said, straightening his tie and lifting his chin. “It’s the hair gel.”
My parents laughed while I rolled my eyes. Kyle’s lips twitched with a restrained smirk.
“Eve, your father was just singing your praises,” Mom said.
“Pastor Peter Jacobson never sings my praises,” I replied, leering at my dad.
“I give credit where credit is due, young lady. And Kyle said you offered to help with Josh.”
Before I could respond, Kyle said, “You’ve done a great job raising Eve. She’s very generous, dare I say selfless, with her time. Cleary a young woman with pure motives and an abundance of selflessness.”
Speaking of motives, I wasn’t sure what Kyle’s were with his glowing compliment meticulously wrapped in bullshit. I offered a fake smile, which seemed to please him.
“Wow, Kyle. I can’t tell you how much that means. Things have been a little rocky with Eve, but I think she’s come to her senses and reached a new level of maturity,” Dad said, and my mom nodded.
Kyle canted his head and looked at me. “Yes. She seems to make good choices.”
There wasn’t a proper response to be found, so I stood there with parted lips, a dry mouth, and a narrow-eyed gaze pointed at Kyle.
“Peter, weren’t you going to ask Bill Ferguson about the board meeting?” Mom grabbed my dad’s hand.
“Oh, yeah.” He spied Bill getting into his car. “Excuse me, Kyle.”
Kyle nodded.
When my parents headed toward the parking lot, I asked, “Do you pay such high compliments to all of your babysitters?”
Kyle shrugged as Josh wiggled out of his jacket. “Only the ones who ask to borrow a flashlight, blanket, beer, and gun.” He took Josh’s jacket before his squirmy son ran toward a group of young kids playing chase under the oak trees.
Was he flirting with me? I couldn’t imagine. My attraction toward him made it hard to interpret how he looked at me with what felt like mischief in his eyes and a flirty grin.
“Your parents invited Josh and me to your house for Sunday dinner. And your mom said you made apple pie with the apples I gave you. But I only recall you picking one apple, which you ate the night I walked you home.”
“She misheard me. I told her I used apples from the ground that blew off your trees and landed in our yard.”
“Hmm, I don’t recall a windy day since we moved in. It’s a little way from my trees to your fence.”
I crossed my arms over my chest without responding.
“You have a beautiful voice. Did you sing in the high school choir as well?”
I pinched my lips together to keep from grinning. When I thought I could maintain my composure, I cleared my throat. “My father made me join his choir after my older sister, Sarah, moved out of Devil’s Head. I don’t like to sing.”
“I figured. Your lips didn’t match the words,” Kyle said, flashing me a gotcha grin.
“You said I have a beautiful voice.” I scowled at him.
“You do. It’s rather pleasant. But I didn’t say you’re a talented singer. I’ve never heard you sing. Neither has anyone else, huh? If you’re going to stand in the front row where everyone can see you, I think you should, at the very least, memorize the correct lyrics.”
I did not like him. Sure, I wanted him to tear off my clothes and do ungodly things to me, but not because I liked him. Why did he have to be so sexy and call me out like an errant child?
“Mr. Collins, I don’t know how my father would feel about you staring at my mouth during his sermons. Seems a little inappropriate to me.”
Kyle’s smile died as his Adam’s apple bobbed on a hard swallow. I enjoyed having the upper hand, but never imagined having it with him. Riding a wave of confidence, I stepped closer and stared at his shiny brown shoes momentarily before dragging my gaze up his body like he had done to me on more than one occasion.
When our eyes met, I grinned. “See you at Sunday dinner, Coach.”
He took a step back and adjusted his tie.
My hormones exploded like a volcano. Despite my feigned confidence, I trembled, drowning in a sea of impure thoughts about a man much older than me.
“Can I go to Ben’s after we eat?” Gabby asked, setting the dining room table.
“No. Sunday is a family day,” I replied, filling the water glasses from an orange Tupperware pitcher.
“Will his parents be home?” Mom asked, placing the tuna noodle casserole onto the trivet in the middle of the table.
Why did that matter? Mom did a great job of shaming Sarah and me for wanting to do anything with friends on Sundays.
“I don’t know. Why?” Gabby curled her shoulder-length brown hair behind her ear on one side while scrunching her nose.
“If they have alcohol in the house, you could decide to drink,” I replied.
Mom eyed me with displeasure, and Grandma Bonnie snickered from the extra dining room chair beside the oak buffet; her hands busily crocheting. She wasn’t a churchgoer, but we picked her up every Sunday for dinner.
“I don’t drink. That’s your thing.” Gabby stuck her tongue out at me.
“Then you might decide to have sex,” I said.
“Eww, Ben’s my friend, not my boyfriend.”
“Yes. But Mom and Dad know that given the chance to have sex, their girls will have sex with anyone.”
“Eve!” Mom’s voice jumped an octave, and Gabby giggled.
“Amen, sister,” Grandma Bonnie added, earning a scowl from Mom.
“It’s true.” I nodded. “Last month, when I was volunteering at the nursing home, I delivered some magazines to Milton Bean in his room, and I was tempted.”
“Eve Marie Jacobson,” Mom said slowly, but she couldn’t hide her grin.
Gabby covered her mouth and snorted.
“Rumor has it, Milton was quite the Casanova in his day. You could do worse, Eve,” Grandma Bonnie added with a straight face.
“Never let your father hear you talk like that,” Mom said, ignoring Grandma Bonnie’s commentary.
“Talk like what?” Dad asked, reaching the bottom of the stairs just as there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it.” I shot my dad an exaggerated smile as I passed him on my way to the door.
“Hey,” Kyle said, handing me a paper bag of apples. “Josh wants you to make him applesauce.”
I stepped aside. “Is that so?” I smiled at Josh.
They no longer wore matching suits, but I liked Kyle just as much in his jeans and white-collared shirt.
“Glad you could make it.” Dad ruffled Josh’s already messy hair.
“Thanks for the invitation, Peter,” Kyle said as I closed the door.
“I heard you met your team the other day.” Dad led them to the dining room.
“Yes. It was a preseason dinner to meet the players and their families.” Kyle pulled out a chair for Josh.
“I can’t see,” Josh complained with his head barely peeking over the top of the table.
“Eve, get the phonebook and a few other books for him to sit on.” Mom nodded to me.
I grabbed a stack of books and set them on the chair.
“Eve,” Dad scolded, removing the top book before Kyle lifted Josh onto the pile.
It was an old family Bible bigger than the dictionary and phonebook beneath it.
“What? You always say God is here to lift us up no matter what we need. And Josh needs to reach his plate.”
“Amen, sister,” Grandma Bonnie added. She didn’t believe in God, but she said “Amen” just to poke at my dad.
“Excuse our daughter. She thinks she’s funny, but she’s not.” Dad handed Mom the Bible, and she replaced it with another book.
Kyle grinned. He thought I was funny.
“Kyle, this is my mom, Bonnie,” Mom said. “Mom, this is Fred’s younger brother and his son, Josh. They moved in next door.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs.?” Kyle’s implied question hung in the air.
“My husband died. I’m no longer a Mrs. anything. I’m just the old lady for whom everyone is waiting to die.”
“Mom!” My mom gasped.
Gabby and I laughed, but Kyle restrained his, just barely.
“It’s true. My granddaughters are the only ones who acknowledge my existence, except on Sundays when I get invited to dinner so Peter can ask God to save my wretched soul.”
“I’ll never stop praying for you,” Dad said, earning him an eye roll from Grandma Bonnie.
“My mother’s grossly exaggerating,” Mom said with no examples to back up her claim before everyone sat at the table.
I took Grandma Bonnie’s bag of yarn and set it aside and then helped her to a chair at the table.
Was I the favorite? For sure. She and my mom had a strained relationship because my mom preached (lectured) Grandma Bonnie about salvation and her lost soul bound for damnation if she didn’t hurry up and accept Christ as her savior before she died. Gabby was the second favorite, but she didn’t regularly visit Grandma Bonnie like I did, which was her loss. Grandma Bonnie was funny. She had the most entertaining stories, and I could tell her anything because she was a vault.
After prayer, Dad dove into all things football with Kyle, leaving the rest of us with little to say.
“You know you’re going to have recruiters watching Drew. He’s not only the best player in Devil’s Head; he’s arguably the best player in all of Missouri,” Dad said, wiping his mouth.
Kyle nodded. “I’m looking forward to seeing what he’s got.”
Gabby kicked my shin, and I narrowed my eyes at her. She needed to work on keeping my secrets without constantly reminding me that she was keeping them. Drew was a big secret.
“Well, he’s lucky to have you coach him. Did you girls know that Kyle played football at Iowa?” Dad eyed Gabby and me like it was our cue to be impressed.
I wasn’t ready to give Kyle that satisfaction, but Gabby took the bait.
“Wow. Were you a quarterback?” Her brown eyes widened.
Kyle sipped his water and nodded.
“Why didn’t you play in the NFL?” she asked.
“Not everyone who plays in college is good enough for the NFL.” Kyle chuckled.
“He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches,” I said.
“Eve, do you need to excuse yourself and spend a little time in your room, thinking about how you should behave around guests?” Dad warned.
“What?” I shrugged. “It’s not my quote.”
“No. It’s not. And if you can tell me who that quote belongs to, I’ll let you finish dinner with us. Otherwise, you can take the rest to your room.” Dad smiled because he knew I didn’t know the answer. “And don’t you dare help her,” he warned Grandma Bonnie.
With a long sigh, I tossed my napkin onto the table and mumbled, “I’m done anyway.”
“We’ll let you come back down for dessert,” Mom said. “Since you made the apple pie and the ice cream.”
“Gee, thanks.”
After more than a half hour in my room, staring at the ceiling, there was a knock at my door.
“What?” I said in my grumpiest tone.
The door creaked open.
“George Bernard Shaw.”
I sat up as Kyle stepped into my bedroom. My father was the only other guy who had ever been there.
He smiled. “You quoted George Bernard Shaw. But for the record, some of the greatest doers were also outstanding teachers: Einstein, Oppenheimer, Robert Frost …”
“I don’t think you can be in my room. My dad doesn’t allow it.”
Kyle picked up a trophy from my desk. “Well, I told him I would talk to you because, as a teacher and someone closer to your age, I might get through to you.”
“Get what through to me?” I hopped off the bed, took the trophy from him, and returned it to my desk.
“Nothing. I just said it.”
I grinned. Kyle wasn’t like any teacher I’d ever had.
“You ran cross country?” He eyed me.
I nodded.
“Wow.”
“Don’t act so surprised.”
Kyle shook his head and held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t be so touchy. I’m pleasantly surprised.”
I sat in my window seat, pulling one knee to my chest. “Why?”
“Because I pictured you drinking by the creek, not running long distances.”
“I’m an excellent multitasker. I did both. Who’s watching Josh?”
“Gabby. She’s really good with him.”
“Don’t be fooled. She’s not reliable. I’m still your best bet. She’s always got her nose in a book, writing in the margins and doodling things. She’d lose him.”
“Ouch. I thought sisters were supposed to be close.”
“We are close. I’m just looking out for Josh.”
And I was looking out for my new part-time job.
“What’s your 5k time?” he asked, resting his shoulder against my wall.
“Sub eighteen.”
His eyebrows jumped up his forehead. “No kidding?”
“No kidding.”
“You should have gotten scholarship offers with that.”
“Maybe, but then what? I don’t think they let you run cross country in college without taking actual college classes. And I don’t want to sit in a classroom. I need a break from school. I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life.”
“Some people think college can help you figure out what you want to do. You take different courses and see what piques your interest.”
“Is that what you did?”
Kyle nodded. “I had a football scholarship and no idea what I wanted to do, so I did what everyone who didn’t have a particular interest did.”
“Get a degree in education?”
He smirked. “Exactly.”
“Well, I don’t want to teach. I’m not good at math. Obviously, I’m not good at literature. Maybe I’m the doer who can’t teach. Maybe I’ll plant an orchard and sell apples or pies. Maybe I’ll make apple wine so I can get paid to drink all day. Or maybe I’ll clean motel rooms forever just to piss off my parents.”
“Eve,” he shook his head. “You don’t need to have it all figured out.”
I grunted. “Can you tell my parents that?”
He twisted his lips and nodded. “I can.”
“Really?” I couldn’t gauge his sincerity.
“Really.” He nodded toward the door. “Let’s have some of your apple pie and chat with your grandma. I like her.”
“She’s the best.” I followed him to the door, and he turned before opening it, leaving me within inches of bumping into him.
“Just between us, I love your humor. It’s unexpected,” he said.
“Why is that?” I should have stepped back, but Kyle smelled like a good blend of fresh-cut timber and spice.
He stared at my mouth.
My mouth!
I couldn’t help but wet my lips as if he would kiss me. Even though I knew the chance of that hovered around the zero mark.
“Your humor is dry like red wine, but you claim to be so sweet.”
Please keep looking at my mouth .
I could hear my heart racing.
“That just makes me unpredictable,” I whispered because I felt more out of breath than I did after winning a race.
Kyle’s white teeth peeked through his swelling grin. “That you are. You remind me of someone.”
“Who?”
He winked. “Me.”