Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BERLIN, “TAKE MY brEATH AWAY”
Eve
Apparently, Kyle was too busy doing his job and raising his son to work for my affection.
After that Saturday, he was nice to me. Nice, like someone would be to their babysitter.
Two weeks.
He went two weeks without acknowledging he’d seen me nearly naked.
Two Sunday dinners at our house, acting like a cousin.
Two weeks of cordially thanking me for watching Josh during football practice.
Two away football games where I gave up my Friday night to watch Josh and put him to bed on time. And again, Kyle thanked me with a smile and cash.
No greasy food runs.
No kissing.
Not even a wink.
“To be fair, he is busy,” Erin said while we jogged on Saturday morning.
“To be fair? Uh, no. It’s not fair. He’s had plenty of opportunities to be alone with me. Josh goes to bed at eight, and I don’t have to be home until eleven—or twelve on the weekends. Today, he could be taking me hunting with him. Instead, he asked Gabby to watch Josh while he went by himself. How did standing up for myself turn into ending everything?”
“Why don’t you just ask him?”
“Nooo …” I could hear my mom’s voice in my head, telling me to stop whining. “If I ask him, then he wins.”
Erin laughed. “It doesn’t have to be a game.”
“It’s not. But you know what I mean.”
“Maybe you need to show up uninvited and seduce him after Josh is in bed.”
I giggled. “Like, trench coat with no clothes under it? I don’t own a trench coat, do you?”
“No. Why would I own one?” She laughed. “Do something else. Just jump on him and start kissing him.”
My steps faltered from laughing so much. “Throw myself at him? What if he does that head-turn thing like in the movies and rejects me? What if he says, ‘It’s not you; it’s me.’ I would be totally mortified.”
“Then just ask him!”
“Then I sound whiny and desperate.”
“Not if you don’t ask him in a whiny and desperate way. You have to chill. You freak out too easily. Be cool.”
Cool.
I could do that.
Nothing said cool like stalking him from my bedroom window with binoculars. He arrived close to dinner time and parked his truck by the barn. Josh ran down the porch stairs, and Gabby followed him. I bolted into the bathroom to curl my hair before changing into black jeans that were too tight for my father’s approval, a white T-shirt, a fake leather jacket, and black boots.
“Where are you off to?” Mom asked when I reached the bottom of the stairs. She was tying her apron to make dinner.
“I’m not sure what we’re doing yet.” I smiled.
Erin was going to a movie with Nicole. So we was me. And it wasn’t a total lie. I didn’t know my plan. I just knew I’d drive around until after Josh’s bedtime. DQ sounded good. A burger and sundae.
“Have fun.”
“I will.” Just as I opened the door, Gabby walked up the porch stairs. “Oh, hey. How was watching Josh? Did Kyle get a deer?”
She sighed. “I think I’m in love with our neighbor.”
“Josh is so sweet,” I said, sliding my purse strap onto my shoulder.
“No. Well, yes. But I’m talking about Kyle.”
I closed the door behind me before she could walk inside the house. “He’s dad’s best friend’s brother. And twelve years older than you.” I wrinkled my nose. “Gross.”
“Gross? Are you blind? He’s not gross. He’s like …” She fanned herself. “He’s dreamy. I sit in the front row of his class. We have assigned seats, but I told him I couldn’t see the blackboard, so if he says anything to you, just tell him that Mom hasn’t taken me to the eye doctor yet. Oh, and he’s wearing camouflage pants and a tight, long-sleeved shirt. And I could see every muscle. Also, he needs to shave. Normally, facial hair is grody, but everything about him is,” she looked around and lowered her voice, “sexy.”
I didn’t move and forbade any part of my body to give anything away. “You need to say an extra prayer tonight.”
“Pfft. You’re one to talk. You just have poor taste in guys, just like Sarah.”
“Sarah has poor taste in guys?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Yes. She let the good one go.” She shouldered past me into the house, shutting the door without a goodbye.
“I have flawless taste in men,” I mumbled with a grin on my way to the car.
I drove around town listening to music, pulled into the gas station to chat with a few friends, and grabbed dinner at DQ. By eight, I made my way to Kyle’s, parking at the end of the drive behind a patch of trees so my parents couldn’t see my car from our house.
After messing with my hair in the rearview mirror, applying ChapStick, and checking my teeth for food, I popped a Mentos in my mouth and nervously walked toward his house, stopping when I saw something moving.
He was sitting on the porch swing, drinking a beer. “Eve,” he said, drawing out my name for at least three seconds.
I gulped. Why was I so on edge? We’d almost had sex.
“My sister has a crush on you,” I said.
Why did I say it?
No clue.
He paused the can of beer an inch from his mouth. “She’s in my Trig class. I really have to draw a line, and sixteen is nonnegotiable.”
Don’t laugh!
My boots clicked on the wooden stairs, and I pressed my lips together, sucking on the mint. “Is Josh in bed?”
He nodded before drinking the last of his beer.
“When I said I wanted you to work for it, I thought that might involve some effort.”
“It has.” He stood, eyeing me with an unreadable expression as he opened the screen door.
I followed him inside.
“Are you saying it takes a lot of work to ignore me?”
“Ignore you?” He tossed the can into a bin by the back door. “I haven’t ignored you. I see you and talk to you almost every day.”
“You talk to me like I’m …” I drew in a long breath.
Stay chill.
“Like you’re what?” He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head.
My fake, calm smile felt psychotic. “You haven’t kissed me, touched me, said anything that’s the least bit suggestive, or even winked at me in two weeks.”
Kyle made duck lips and returned an easy (infuriating) nod. “Because I’ve been focused on working for it .”
I pumped my fists. He was too chill.
Too dismissive.
Too everything except making any sense.
I rubbed my hands over my face and then ran my fingers through my hair, and he had the audacity to let his lips twitch into a tiny grin.
“Ugh! You’re such a jerk.” I turned and stomped my feet toward the door.
“What are you doing here?” Josh asked in his blue jammies from the top of the stairs, rubbing his tired eyes.
“Hey, sorry. Did I wake you?”
“Go back to bed, buddy,” Kyle said, climbing the stairs. He framed Josh’s face in his big hands and kissed his forehead. “Bad dream?”
Josh nodded.
No. I couldn’t let him make me weak in the knees again, not just from being a good dad.
“Did you show Eve the hut without me?” Josh asked in a soft voice.
“That was a secret,” Kyle whispered, but I heard him.
“What hut?” I said.
Kyle deflated, hanging his head.
“Me and Daddy built you a new hut.”
“Go to bed, buddy.”
“Show me,” I said.
Kyle looked at me. “Not now. It’s getting dark.”
“Bring a flashlight.”
“I can’t leave Josh.”
“I’ll come too.” Josh perked up.
“You should be asleep.”
Josh clasped his hands together in a prayer pose at his face. “Let’s show her. Please. ”
Kyle frowned.
“I’ll get my boots on.” Josh slid past him and hopped down the stairs, sticking his jammie-covered feet into his little cowboy boots.
Kyle rolled his eyes, taking his time descending the stairs. He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a flashlight.
We didn’t head in the direction of my old hut. Instead, Kyle guided us further north, away from my family’s land, to where the creek snaked between a long grove of trees at the bottom of a hill.
Kyle pointed the light to the right, and there was a hut, but it was more like a treehouse on the ground, made from wood and much larger than my hut.
“Come inside,” Josh said excitedly, waving me toward the door.
I stepped inside as Kyle shined the light behind me.
There was a log bench along one side and a window on the opposite side, which had hinges for opening and closing.
“Do you like it?” Josh asked.
I was speechless, my heart free-falling, taking every ounce of air from my lungs, so I nodded.
I sat on the log bench and gazed up at Kyle. He offered a shy grin.
“Okay. We showed her, now you need to get to bed.” Kyle stepped out of the hut, and Josh followed.
“Coming, Eve?” Josh asked.
I smiled. “In a minute. I’ll catch up.” I wiped my eyes before either one of them saw me getting emotional over a hut. Then, I brought up the rear as Kyle gave Josh a piggyback ride back to the house.
“Bed. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars,” Kyle said.
“What?” Josh giggled as he rode Kyle’s back up the stairs.
I followed them and stood in the hallway while Kyle tucked him back into bed.
“Love you, buddy,” he said, closing the door most of the way. Then he lifted his gaze to mine as if surprised to see me waiting for him.
I grinned, stepping past him, teasing the palm of his hand, and threading our fingers together while wordlessly leading him to his bedroom. Releasing his hand, I quietly closed and locked the door behind me.
“You built me a hut,” I whispered, closing my eyes briefly before turning to face him.
He didn’t speak.
I stepped closer, resting my hands on his chest. We gazed at each other in the dim moonlight that snuck past the partially closed curtains. I clutched his shirt, working it up his body and over his head. Then I did the same to mine.
Kyle’s hands rested at his sides. His patience only fueled my desire.
I was wind and fire—destructive and out of control. He was earth and water—a grounding, calm force.
But when we kissed, it felt like waves crashing, flames spreading, and the earth quaking beneath us. It felt like his arms were made to hold me. He dragged his lips down my neck while unhooking my bra.
I couldn’t breathe, and my lungs didn’t care. Kyle became the only thing that mattered to my body. If he filled me, I could live in that moment forever.
I undid his jeans and pushed them past his butt, sliding my hands into the back of his underwear, curling my fingers into his firm muscles.
Warmth flowed across my skin. It felt like a dream, like Gabby sitting in the front row of her math class, imagining Mr. Collins finding her irresistible.
He groaned, grabbing my face and kissing me. One hand dropped to my breast, squeezing it before his finger and thumb playfully tugged at my nipple. I turned my head to break the kiss and bit my lower lip to avoid making noise, unsure how quickly Josh would fall back asleep or how well sound traveled in the old farmhouse.
“If you don’t have condoms, I’m going to cry,” I whispered past the dizzying marriage of euphoria and desperation while he kissed down my chest and slowly removed my jeans.
“Me too,” he murmured over my skin, teasing it with butterfly kisses.
I tugged at his hair, and he grinned. “I have condoms.”
He guided me to the bed and gazed at me with a sparkle of appreciation in his eyes as I lay back, hands over my breasts. A pang of vulnerability arrested my confidence because Kyle was only the second guy I’d had sex with. At least, I assumed (hoped) we were going all the way.
“Eve, you’re so fucking beautiful I can’t think straight.”
I trapped my lower lip between my teeth.
He kissed the inside of my knee while dragging my underwear down my legs. My heart raced from every nerve firing at the same time. Kyle rested both hands on my inner thighs and spread my legs.
I swallowed hard, closing my eyes while my heart thrashed in my chest. I couldn’t look at him with his gaze affixed down there . My skin burned under his touch. Another man had taken my virginity, but Kyle made it feel like the first time.
“Oh god,” I said in a harsh whisper. My hips jerked when he kissed me right between my legs. “K-Kyle,” I stuttered through my labored breaths as my knees tried to snap together because the tip of his tongue touched my clit before sinking deeper between my legs.
It was a first. A good first.
“Eve, do you want me to make you come like this?” he asked with a thick voice.
Just because I wasn’t a virgin didn’t mean I knew what I wanted. No one (and by no one, I meant the one person who took my virginity) didn’t give me options.
“Uh …” I fumbled my answer.
His tongue made another slow swipe between my spread legs, his stubbly jaw brushing my inner thighs.
My back arched, one hand clenching his hair, my other squeezing my breast, pinching my nipple like I did when I touched myself alone in my bedroom—when I only dreamed of Kyle doing that to me.
He chuckled, kissing my inner thigh. “I take that as a yes.”
Pressing my lips together to avoid making noise, I quickly nodded several times.
It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, as if his tongue was made to do that to me. Every muscle slowly tightened like one big knot, an overload of need, like my mind disconnected from the rest of my body.
My breath caught in my chest, and a blinding sensation spread along my skin, hot and tingly, as I released in tiny waves.
Heart pounding.
Tiny pants falling past my parted lips.
Incoherent thoughts collided until I barely knew where I was.
He continued his journey up my body, sliding his fingers between my legs when he kissed my breasts, flicking his tongue over my nipple and teasing it with his teeth.
And then he was gone.
No fingers.
No tongue.
No teeth.
He’d climbed off the bed and pulled a condom from the nightstand drawer, rolling it on with steady hands. Those same hands rested on my inner thighs again to spread my legs.
Our gazes locked when he pushed two fingers into me. On a heavy blink, I released a soft moan, feeling the tight fit of his fingers. He seemed mesmerized by my reaction, pulsing into me several times before pulling out and settling his hips between my legs. His face hovered over mine while he watched my reaction to his erection penetrating me as he hooked his hand behind my knee and guided it to his hip.
My jaw relaxed in a silent cry, and he paused inside me, kissing me a long moment before he began to move. My young heart exploded into fireworks when our gazes met again, and he grinned—sexy but vulnerable.
He gave me everything I imagined that kind of intimacy would be.
Happy and playful.
All-consuming and explosive.
The passion.
The unharnessed desire.
There was no comparison, yet I couldn’t keep my mind from making casual observations about Kyle’s patience. He was steady like the act mattered just as much as the result. We rolled in the sheets as his mouth and hands explored my body. He made me feel beautiful and perfect, like a woman in every way.
Every smile.
Every time he called me “beautiful.”
Every kiss that made my toes curl.
When he guided me onto my stomach, I rested my cheek against the mattress and whispered, “You built me a hut.”
Kyle lifted my hips a fraction and entered me from behind.
He planted his hands next to mine by my head and kissed my shoulder. “I built you a hut. You make me want to do all kinds of crazy things.”
I bit my lip as my body tingled and tensed, preparing with each thrust for another wave of pleasure.
“Don’t stop making me want to do crazy things,” he said with his breaths chasing one another, each one a little more ragged. “You make everything so fucking good.” His hand snaked under my chest, claiming my breast as the bed swayed with a few creaks every time he pistoned his hips against me, his rhythm becoming more erratic.
Then he stilled. “Eve …” His hand drifted lower between my legs, and he rubbed me until I orgasmed. He jerked his hips a few more times like my pleasure became his again.
I loved sex with Kyle.
But I also loved my parents and Jesus, and I needed those things not to be mutually exclusive.