Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
PETER GAbrIEL, “IN YOUR EYES”
Kyle
I made sure Josh got fastened in the back before I climbed into the driver’s seat of my truck and closed the door. Then I started the engine to pull out of the rehab center’s visitor parking. My hand wrapped around the gearshift, and I clenched my teeth, every muscle in my body tensing to hold it together. But all I saw was her face covered in tears, her pleading bloodshot eyes, and her quivering lower lip. And I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and take her away from all the pain.
Releasing the gearshift, I fisted my hand at my mouth as my eyes pinched shut, and my body shook with emotion. Everything ached bone-deep, and my heart didn’t beat right. It had been the worst three weeks of my life. And that said a lot, considering the mother of my child abandoned us.
But I felt like I had abandoned Eve and didn’t know how to make it right. As much as I wanted to be everything she needed, I wasn’t. I failed her, like I had failed Josh. And when we walked into the rehab center, and I saw her for the first time since carrying her unconscious body back to the house, her light didn’t shine as bright.
I let that happen.
And for that, I felt undeserving of her and her love.
Had I been her father, I would have wanted me as far away from her as possible too.
“Daddy?” Josh whispered as I tried to make it stop.
The pain.
The tears.
The waves of body-racking agony.
His seat belt clicked when he released it, and he climbed over the seat to get to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. “Don’t cry,” he said.
And fuck … if that didn’t make me cry even harder.
“Do you have a boo-boo?” he asked.
I found a smile for him as I wiped my eyes. “Yeah,” I whispered. “Right here.” I pressed the heel of my hand to my chest and rubbed it.
Josh rested one hand on my arm and his other on the steering wheel to bend forward and kiss the spot I just rubbed. “There. All better.” He hugged me again.
I wrapped him in my arms and closed my eyes. “Yeah. All better.”