Chapter 12
12
DAIRE
I couldn’t stop pacing the foyer hours after I’d given Sloan a rundown of the meeting. My fingers itched, and it felt like ants were crawling under my skin. I burned to go back to the Folliero brownstone, strangle Michele Scotti, and bury his body with all the others I’d killed for Sloan. But, this wouldn’t be for the boss. No, this murder would be for me.
“Problem?” Conall’s smug tone caused me to freeze and glance over my shoulder. He stood on the stairs that led up to the second floor, leaning his elbow on the polished black railing.
I cleared my throat. “No, sir.”
“Really?” The tone stiffened my spine. There was an underlining danger in Conall’s voice I hadn’t really heard from him. After a few moments, his mouth curved into a smirk. “Your mood doesn’t have anything to do with Fionn going on a date with a certain Italian, does it?”
I swallowed and gripped my hands behind my back to stop him from seeing them clench into fists. “I worry that Scotti isn’t good enough for him.”
“Who is then? You?” He pushed off from the railing and moved down the last few steps to the foyer before he strode toward me. He stopped mere inches away. “From what I heard, you’ve been leading him on for years. Maybe he deserves a man who’ll give him what he needs.”
“You don’t know the full story.” The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Does Fionn?” He smirked when I didn’t answer immediately. “Does Sloan?”
I stiffened. “No. Sloan’s my friend and boss, but there’s things he doesn’t need to worry about. If you tell him?—”
“I promised Fionn I wouldn’t. That’s the only reason I haven’t.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “But I promise you I will do everything in my power to get Fionn the perfect man. From what I heard, you’re not it.”
I stared at him for a long moment, and the last remaining threads of control I held on to slipped away from me. “I am. Fionn belongs to me.”
Conall’s smirk widened and he poked my chest. “Then stop being a little bitch. Do something about it. You’re going to need to grovel, Daire, because he’s done with your mind games. He wants a relationship , not a fuck buddy.”
“He was never a game to me,” I snapped in a way I shouldn’t to the boss’s pet.
He snorted and leaned in closer. “You better do something now or you’ll lose him forever. Don’t be a coward. Grow some balls.”
I gritted my teeth but didn’t leave. It was the wrong move to go anywhere near Fionn, but my heart demanded something different because it wanted what it couldn’t have. If I said it out loud, I might consider my reasoning to be stupid, but I’d done everything I was supposed to my entire life. I’d kept my family afloat when Aodhan had gone off to do something reckless. Following my brain over my heart kept me alive.
“What’s going on?” Sloan came walking down the hallway to the left of the grand staircase, his suit jacket missing, leaving him in his white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and black pants. He looked good, but there was never a time when Sloan didn’t. I had grown up listening to men and women swoon over my best friend.
Sloan walked over to Conall, who tilted his head back to receive the kiss Sloan dropped on his lips.
Conall smirked. “Daire and I were just talking about taking what we want.”
“Really?” Sloan’s ocean blue eyes slid from me back to him. “And what do you want, pet?”
Conall made a show of slowly licking his upper lip as he raised a hand to play with his collar. “I think you know what, Boss.”
Sloan slid a thumb over his mouth, chasing after his tongue, and Conall grinned, playfully nipping at Sloan’s finger. “Hm. You’re a tease. What am I going to do with you?”
Conall’s gaze went back to me. “Take what you want. We all know what it is. Otherwise, someone else might get it instead.”
Even though he was clearly talking to Sloan, I was also aware his infuriating advice was directed at me, too. If Sloan noticed Conall pointing the words at me, he didn’t say anything as he grabbed Conall and lifted him up against his chest. Conall laughed and wrapped his legs around Sloan’s waist, arms around Sloan’s neck.
“No one gets you but me, pet.” Sloan’s voice came out as a growl, and then he slammed his mouth against Conall’s. Their kiss was intense, and Sloan used his grip on Conall’s ass to keep his pet pressed against him.
My desire for Fionn swirled deep in my stomach.
Something snapped inside me as I watched Sloan walk off with Conall in his arms. Throwing aside every rational thought I’d had in my head, I stalked up the stairs. The few guards I passed gave me suspicious stares before averting their eyes. There were certain people they couldn’t question—I was one of them.
I only got halfway down the hall toward Fionn’s room when he slipped out the door, dressed in a way that had my mouth watering. The jeans melded with his long legs and ass, showing off every curve he had, while his shirt was the tightest I’d ever seen on him. The black material clung to his sinewy torso, and as he turned toward me, I lost my breath and came to an abrupt halt.
He squared his shoulders and stormed toward me until he was in my face. “Move.”
“No.” I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms. “You’re being ridiculous, boy.”
“Me? Ridiculous?” He laughed and mirrored me by folding his arms. His eyes flashed with a rage unlike anything I’d seen from him. “Move, Daire, or I’ll make you.”
I didn’t. I stood firm, and even though I was acting like a selfish prick after denying us both for so long, I couldn’t bring myself to shift out of his way.
Fionn was not going on a date with Michele fucking Scotti, the Italian bastard who could flirt the boxers off a saint.
Fionn stepped forward, and for a moment, I thought he was going to try and shove me, which wouldn’t have gone well, but he rocked back again at the last minute. “You don’t get a choice anymore, Daire,” he hissed low enough that none of the guards would be able to hear him. His mouth curled and there was a smirk that reminded me more of Conall than my sweet Fionn. “I let you lead me on like a naive idiot. You fucked me, and I enjoyed our time together, but I want more. I’m done waiting. I’m going out on a date, and somewhere around dessert I’ll beg Michele to fuck me. Then later, we can go public, like you and I should’ve years ago.” He poked me on the chest. “You. Are. A. Coward.”
Fionn stepped backward and went to stalk around me, but I seized his arm and spun him, slamming him against the wall. He huffed out a gasp, and two of the guards near the staircase straightened and began to walk toward us, but Fionn held up a palm at them, effectively stopping them.
I didn’t care if they came for him. I would lay them flat on the floor, and they would learn why I was second-in-command. Most of the younger Company men had no idea what I could do or what I’d done to get where I was now, including Fionn. They saw a businessman, not a killer.
I grabbed his face between my fingers, squishing his lips until he looked like an adorable goldfish. “Scotti doesn’t get to touch you.”
“And you do?” he spat out, even though I still had a firm grip on his face. “You had the chance. For over eight years, I sniffed behind you like a puppy—pathetic, begging for scraps, longing for more from you. I wanted to be your partner in everything . You don’t deserve me.”
“You’re right, I don’t.” I steeled my jaw. “But you’re mine, Fionn, you’ve always been mine.”
“I was yours,” he snarled. “Not anymore. Michele can put his cock wherever he wants because at least he treats me like I’m a fucking human being.”
I growled between my teeth. Every ounce of guilt inside me ate at my gut because he was right, and I hated myself for what I’d done. “I tried to push you away more than once.”
“And then, you dragged me back in. I’m nothing but a gullible fish you caught on the line you threw out as bait.” He finally slapped my hand away, but I gripped his throat instead, and he left my fingers pressed there. “Don’t worry, that wasn’t all your fault. I was the idiot who thought you actually wanted me.” He choked on a laugh, the toxic sadness and anger seeping through it, poisoning me until I couldn’t breathe. “You listened and taught me lessons, and I latched on to you because you were acting like you were invested in my future. I considered you my ... Daddy. Daddy Daire.” He gnashed his teeth and the fire in his eyes was directed at me. I deserved this, didn’t I? “But now I’m going to find a new Daddy. What do you think about Daddy Michele? Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“Boy, stop pushing,” I growled out. Fury swept through me in a blazing inferno, an overwhelming and unbearable heat that I couldn’t control.
“What are you going to do about it?” He tilted his chin. “Come on, Daddy Daire. Show me how little I mean to you.”
My grip on his throat tightened, and Fionn gasped. “I care about you, boy.”
He needed to know. He had to know how much he meant to me. Desperation clawed at me. I couldn’t lose him. Not now.
“Do you?” He pressed his lips together. “Prove it. Get on your knees, right here, right now, and suck my dick. Show me that I have your loyalty. Show me what I mean to you.”
“Stop this.” I glanced at the men from the corner of my eye. The two standing closest to the stairs were Healy and Walsh, and they were two of the most trusted guards, but that didn’t mean a damned thing. I didn’t want to share Fionn like Sloan did with Conall. Fionn deserved to be worshiped by only one man— me .
“Come on, Daddy Daire.” His grin was mean, and my heart hurt. This wasn’t my boy, and the realization of how much pain he was in only made the agony of my breaking heart worse. I’d fucking done this because I’d convinced myself I was doing the right thing. Fuck. “Get on your knees and show me you think I’m worth it.” He tilted his chin. “Or are you a coward?”
I stared at him for a long moment before I finally dropped to my knees. It was a strange sensation to be in front of Fionn like this, and he obviously hadn’t expected me to actually do it because his eyes widened and he let out a shaky breath, back pressed tightly against the wall.
“If this is what you want, boy, then I’ll happily do it because I am loyal to you. I always have been.”
He stayed silent as I reached for his jeans, unbuttoning them and grasping the zipper between my fingers, then tugging it down slowly. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the guards watching, and while I wasn’t one for public displays, I didn’t care, either, because maybe they’d spread the word that Fionn was mine .
The apple in Fionn’s throat bobbed and he opened his legs with uncertainty. If this was what he wanted, then I would do it, if only to prove to him that he belonged with me.
Hooking my fingers into his waistband, I yanked down his jeans and underwear until they were around his thighs. His cock bounced free—already half hard and flushed red at the tip. Over eight years of having him didn’t dull his beauty. Everything about him was exquisite.
“Well?” Fionn had regained some of his confident composure, lips pursed as he wrapped his fingers around his cock, tapping the head against my mouth. “Get to work, Daddy Daire.”
If I wasn’t on my knees in front of some of our men, I’d be proud of Fionn for standing tall and exuding the energy of a mob boss. Hell, I was always proud of him. Mouth curling into a half smile, I batted his hand away and took hold of his cock around the base, holding it out so I could suck him between my lips. I licked across his slit, watching the shudder that worked its way through him. The taste of precum lingered on my tongue and I swallowed.
I trailed kisses down the length of his cock, tongue darting out to taste and trace the lines across his silky skin. Cupping his balls, I squeezed, and a sinful moan spilled from his lips. He threw his head back and clonked it against the wall.
“Fuck.” He trembled.
I wished I could stand and pull him into my arms, but I stayed where I was, where I belonged , at Fionn’s feet.
I took his cock into my mouth again, stroking my tongue on the underside of the head, before sucking him in deeper until he was touching the back of my throat. He grasped my hair, then moaned and his grip tightened.
Pain exploded from my scalp as he tugged on my strands, but it added to a buildup of need inside me that had been growing since I’d seen him walk out of the room dressed good enough to eat.
I pulled away to lick the tip before tilting my chin back to stare up at him.
“Is this what you want, boy?” I murmured, swiping a line up his cock and across his slit.
Fionn whimpered and bit down on his bottom lip. “Yeah. It’s where you deserve to be after the bullshit way you treated me.”
“You’re right,” I murmured, nuzzling the side of his length. I laid a couple of kisses along his hardness and watched him shiver. “I’m sorry, boy. Let Daddy Daire make it up to you. Let me .”
He snorted, clearly in disbelief. It hurt that he didn’t trust me, but I didn’t blame him. I’d royally fucked up. “You’ll be more than making it up to me. You’ll be begging for forgiveness until I say it’s enough.”
I laid my hands on Fionn’s thighs and ran my palms along them, getting a good feel of hard yet wiry muscle beneath. I couldn’t get enough, wanted to touch his skin all day, every day. I slid my right hand under him until I was where I wanted to be and pressed my finger to his hole.
He bit his lip hard enough that it began turning white and spread his knees farther, giving me more access to work with. He quivered and his chest heaved in deep, fast breaths. “Do it. Lube in the pocket of my pants.”
My heart gave a painful tug. He was going to use that tonight—with Michele. I’d nearly lost him. The reality was a baseball bat to the chest. I held back a gasp that threatened to slip out.
I licked my lips and pulled my hand back so I could grab the lube packet out of his pocket. Once I had the foil open and lube on my fingers, I returned my hand to its former position. I nuzzled his cock again, tongue dragging along the hard flesh, before I pushed my finger inside his tight hole.
A moan slipped out of him. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do more—watch every reaction I dragged from my boy or suck him off until he exploded in my mouth.
He’d given me an order, though, and I wasn’t going to ignore it. No, I wasn’t going to ignore him anymore. I’d done enough of that for a lifetime, and he deserved more. I’d be a better Daddy for him.
I took Fionn’s cock back into my mouth, sucking the head before I took the entire length in. He shuddered and jerked forward, his cock shoving deep into the back of my throat. I choked, but he pushed in deeper until he was halfway down my windpipe and my nose was pressed into his groin. He stayed there, his hand at the back of my head holding me in place, and I gagged, but stayed perfectly still. I was at his service. I shoved my finger into his hole even deeper, searching for that magic bundle of nerves that would make my boy lose his mind.
He deserved my submission in this way. I’d give him the world, if only to say sorry for all the past mistakes and the pain I’d caused him. I’d hurt him and that destroyed me. Fucking idiot.
The moment my finger hit his prostate, he trembled and moaned. His cock exploded, filling my mouth with delicious creamy cum that I swallowed down effortlessly. Usually, I took pleasure in receiving a blowjob, and while I gave when I could, over the years he’d preferred to do the worshiping.
Now Fionn didn’t ask, he didn’t give, he’d demanded .
He release me, and I retreated.
I licked up the final drops of cum and sat back on my knees. I pulled my finger out of him and stared up at him. “How was that, boy?”
Fionn shivered where he leaned against the wall and rolled his head, as though still escaping the last throes of his release. Exhaling, he reached down to pull up his jeans, but I slapped his hands out of the way and did it for him, going as far as zipping and buttoning him up.
“I’ll think about it.” He straightened and swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. His knees shook, but he kept his position above me. “You will hear from me.”
He went to leave, but I jumped to my feet and grasped his arm again, spinning him around. “You’re not still going on a date with Scotti,” I growled.
Fionn’s eyes turned to flint. “Yes, I am. If you think I’m going to forgive you after one blowjob, then you’re insane.” He leaned in. “You fucked me for years and used me when you should’ve treated me like a goddamned prince, Daddy Daire,” he said, voice lowered. “You don’t get to be let off the hook so easily. So yes, I’m still going on a date with Michele. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
He went to turn again, but I kept my hold on his arm.
No! Fuck no. I wasn’t going to lose him to Michele’s foolish romantic gestures. I couldn’t. Panic held my lungs hostage and breathing felt like walking through fire. It burned. It hurt. I was going to lose Fionn if I didn’t act.
I needed to tell him the truth. “I was in love with your father.”
He froze. “What?”
“Fuck.” I ran my hands down my face and sighed in defeat. Maybe I’d lose him by telling the truth. “That’s why I didn’t want a relationship with you. I was in love with your father, and I didn’t want to use you as a replacement, boy. I was afraid that by being with you, I’d make you one.”
He blinked slowly. “Are you... fucking kidding me?” He spun around and shoved me back a few steps. The anger in his gaze was a fire so hot that it could’ve burned me into ash. I’d deserve it. “You let me pant after you like a fucking dog because you loved my father and thought you were sparing my feelings because you didn’t want to use me?” He laughed abruptly, and the guards nearby stared at him as though he’d gone insane. I didn’t blame them. The sound was unsettling, and the terror I felt hearing it worked its way deep into my bones. This wasn’t my Fionn.
Maybe he had finally lost all sense of reality.
He was mad and had every right to be.
“That is the most ridiculous excuse I’ve heard in my life.”
“Boy—” I started to advance, but he held up his hand.
The smile fell off his handsome face and his eyes went wild with rage. They flashed dangerously and he became perfectly still. “I don’t give a flying fuck that you loved my father. Hell, you could’ve fucked him for all I care.” The pure agony in his voice ripped me into shreds.
He stalked forward and pointed an accusing finger at me. His usually beautiful, flawless face had turned a blotchy red, and moisture was caught in his eyes. “But you broke my heart. All because you were feeling guilty that you had sex with me? Thought you were using me as a replacement for a father I never knew well? You’re selfish. You could’ve come to me and told me, but instead you chose to be a coward and hide. It’s been over eight years, Daire. Eight years of me pining for you—desperate for more. You took my virginity.”
He didn’t cry, but I realized it was furious tears that flooded his eyes.
I froze, his words echoing in my head. Virginity?
“What?”
His laugh was manic. “You were my first. I gave my everything to you.”
I wanted to reach for him, to fall back on my knees and apologize and beg for forgiveness. I’d deserve it if he walked away, but I couldn’t let him. Desperation wouldn’t let me. He was mine and I wasn’t going to let another man have him.
Yet...I fucked up. He was a virgin? How didn’t I know? I should’ve been gentler with him, took it slow. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness. I swallowed around the emotions that lodged in my throat, making it hard to breathe or speak.
“You were the only one I ever slept with. I never wanted anyone else.” His voice broke and his glare intensified.
“I had no idea. Fionn, you should’ve told me. I thought—shit.” My head was a mess.
He stared at me for a long moment. “You are weak.” He stepped back again.
The sharp, angry words hit their target—my vulnerable heart. I flinched. Ouch.
“You could’ve had me, but never again. I’m not your boy anymore. You don’t get to tell me what to do. You’ve had enough chances. This —” He gestured between us. “—is done.”
Fuck, what could I do? How could I show him that I’d changed, that I wouldn’t hurt him again? I would kill any man who touched him. Despair tore at me from the inside, shredding me until I felt wretched in a thousand different ways. This wasn’t how it was going to happen. The only way we’d be apart was in death.
When he went to walk away, I grabbed his arm again and slammed him back against the wall. He aimed a fist at me, but I caught his wrists and pinned them against the wall above his head.
He writhed when I pressed my full weight against him. We panted as we struggled, his chest heaving. A rush of adrenaline swept through me as need had my cock throbbing. The hard-on that nudged me said he wasn’t really interested in pushing me away.
“You. Are. My. Boy.” I nipped his earlobe, and he sucked in a breath. “You’re right. I was a coward, and more than that, I was an idiot who made the biggest mistake of my life. I fucked up bad. I hurt you, but not anymore. I’m going to make it up to you, sweet boy. I won’t let you go to Scotti because you’re mine. I own your body—your ass, your mouth, and that spicy attitude of yours.” I brushed a kiss across his lips, needing him to see my hunger but also my love for him. “I can’t wait to spank that feistiness out of you. I’m your Daddy, and you’re my boy.”
“All those pretty little words and empty promises. You think I should believe them? What are you going to do if I don’t?” he snapped. “Do you even have the balls to do it?”
The challenge stoked a fire in the pit of my belly, and I growled before I threw him over my shoulder.
Fionn kicked and nearly got me in the balls, but I managed to keep a hold of him as I walked toward his room.
“I’ll show you what I’m going to do, boy.” I slapped his ass— hard —and he moaned. It was the prettiest sound I’d ever heard, and my cock thrummed with need. My entire body was alight with lust, goose bumps prickling over my arms. “And by the end of the night, you’ll only be calling me Daddy Daire again.”
“Never.”
I smirked. We would see about that.