Chapter 25
THE CREATURE
Dealing with the mess back in the city was cutting into my personal time.
I crumpled the small collection of messages, all from my father asking for correspondence in vain.
There were too many things to do, instructions to send that wouldn’t fit on telegram cards.
The pressure weighed so heavily that, if I wasn’t careful, I might fall to dust by the time I returned.
It all went away with the help of distractions, including my favorite of all.
This was the only time I could spare to see her. Curiously, Alina did not go back to her beloved Nest after her errands; she went back to her makeshift lab late in the night.
Now, where have I seen that before?
She took her horse to the apothecary, no wagon in tow. I was sure she would make some excuse about forgetting something, but I wanted to see what she was truly up to. My shadow was most comfortable moving at night, and the company of others was not always what she needed.
Little Edith went to work early. Phoebe was busy managing the Nest in Alina’s absence, and the rest of the town was cozied up in their homes. There was not a single soul to bother us when I inevitably caught her between my teeth.
The town transformed under night cover. It was a shame that not many stayed awake to enjoy it.
Most ventured more toward the center, where the lights were bright and entertainment kept everyone distracted through the night.
It was a time when the snow was the fluffiest, the air free of fumes, and the stars could be seen following the moon across the sky until dawn.
I watched as the singular, gloomy light appeared in the window above the shop, her shadow fluttering about as it passed the candle.
My teeth ached at the thought of her, my heart trembled at the memories of her touch. It was like my soul craved her far more than any food on earth could sustain. I wanted to have all of her, as much as she would let me, or as much as I could take.
When I opened the front door, it creaked eerily as I reached up to mute the bell, closing it quietly behind me. She had forgotten to lock it on her way in.
Or had she forgotten? Was this an invitation?
How foolish, though I suppose it would be more idiotic to assume a simple lock would keep me out.
As I ascended the stairs, I did not hear much movement in the flat above. My steps were careful as I reached the door at the top. It was intimidating, the stair corridor long and narrow, leading to that single door. It was claustrophobic, but maybe it was because I was holding my breath.
As I opened the door, I was finally able to see the lab she spent all her time in. Those same two windows I stalked from the outside were on the wall directly in front of me, a workbench off to the side, along with some cabinets.
On the other side was a blank wall, but it was obvious it was not left unused. The walls were stained brown, and soot-like smudges were left on the walls despite obvious attempts at scrubbing them.
The wood floors were unfinished, stained a color that could only be described as a logbook of victims to get that specific shade of char.
Speaking of the color of char, there was a curious image before me. My dear shadow with her knees to her chest, curled up. Her head tipped back, resting against the wall. Beside her, a bottle.
Still a drunk, I see.
Though as I approached, my cheery state was dampened when I saw her poison of choice.
On the floor next to her was an empty syringe next to the tall, corked bottle. It seemed she had progressed past simple spirits.
As I crouched in front of her, I was able to see her peaceful face. I do not think she had ever been this serene. Her eyes were moving under her lids as she dreamed, as though she were asleep.
I placed a hand on either side of her face, tipping it up straight. She drifted into one of my hands, cheek creased as she slumped into it.
“Alina,” I hummed, “dreaming of something?”
Her eyes opened, looking at me through her mismatched lashes before her eyes rolled back into her head.
Why wasn’t she fighting?
I removed my gloves and forced her face upright. Her skin was clammy, and I didn’t need a keen sense of touch to feel her shaking, clumsy like a newborn cat.
She smelled different. Not bad, just different—which was usually bad. Her typical sweet scent was dampened, watered down, exhausted. It was like a fever, depleted of the things that make her vibrant.
My giddy mood fell flat when I realized how far she was gone. It was like she left her body. This was not like her at all. The Alina I knew would have thrown something at me by now, clawed at my eyes, something.
“Alina.”
She moaned timidly before letting out a breath, slowly slumping to the side before I caught her, placing her back into an upright sitting position.
Her eyes opened again, but this time they stayed open. A cryptic smile played on her lips when she saw me, her fingers reaching out and touching my face. The nonabrasive gesture concerned me above all else.
I took a long look at her, this unfamiliar thing before me. Her condition made my chest tight, my grip on her tighter as if she were fading before my eyes.
“Are you awake?” I whispered.
“I’m alive?” She reached out to touch me, her cold fingers making me shiver.
“Yes, yes you are,” I breathed, but I could only exhale, for she stole every breath I had.
“Come to me,” she cooed, grasping at my coat weakly. Her lips came close, and I wasn’t sure if she would kiss or bite; at least that part was the same.
My eyes closed when her silken lips brushed against mine. The taste of her on my tongue sent sparks through my nerves like loose gunpowder. There was very little restraining me from grabbing her and taking her there on the floor. But I knew this tenderness was not real, a mirage, a hallucination.
She clung to me, holding me there as she kissed me.
I could not stop myself from touching her, holding her face, and soaking in the attention. Her fingertips left cool trails wherever they touched. I wanted her to plunge them inside me and squeeze my burdened heart already.
“Why must you do this to yourself?” My throat strained as I forced the words out. “Who gave you this affliction?”
Her arms slithered around my shoulders, around my neck.
Thin fingers traced along the back of my shoulder.
She threw me a quizzical look, full of bemusement and some sense of longing in her glassy eyes.
“Don’t you remember?” Her lips skimmed my jawline, then fell to my neck.
Her arms wrapped tighter around my shoulders. “It was you, my long-lost fixation.”
It was almost heartfelt, being regarded with any intimacy from her. But it was short-lived as I watched the blue of her irises roll back into her head, her skin paling.
“Alina?” I grabbed her face.
The muscles in her jaw tensed, and her head threw back. Her entire body flexed back, a bit of blood dripping from her lips as she salivated.
As if the first time I witnessed this wasn’t terrifying enough, this time was much worse.
“No! No, please.” My voice caught as I held her to me.
I supported her head as best I could as I lowered her to the floor.
I put her on her side like I remembered Luka did once.
I let go, just for a shake, to tear off my coat, tucking it quickly under her head as she shook, every muscle under the skin visible as her body seized.
“It’s okay; it’s fine, you’re fine,” I chanted, mostly for myself as I laid next to her, pulling her shaking body to my chest. I was afraid to move, afraid of her injuring herself if I let her go. My trembling hand smoothed down her wet hair, unsure how to soothe her.
Is this my fault?
Is this how it felt to be powerless? No option but to do nothing and wish for the best, wonder when it would end?
I forgot to count how long she shook for.
It could have been thirty seconds, or two minutes, an eternity.
My body would be just as tense as hers, my hand never left her neck, monitoring the pulse.
Even when she stopped, I couldn’t bring myself to move either of us, frozen in time and terror, a delicate moment that was all but stolen.
Against her sober wishes, I went to her Nest.
I made her sit in the saddle in front of me. Even as I held her in my arms, it was unfamiliar. Not once had she ever been so limp, held with such ease.
As I approached the house on the hill, there were already figures hovering impatiently on the front porch, all of whom stopped to watch my steady approach.
Phoebe was the first to step into the moonlight, then a few other women I was unfamiliar with. I raised my hand, though I am sure they all would have their reservations.
As I dismounted, I gathered Alina into my arms. Two women took the horse away as Phoebe approached with purpose. When she reached me, she struck my face with the back of her hand, one of her rings cutting my cheek with an inevitable sting.
I winced and turned to look at her once more. Her chest rose and fell quickly, like she was either going to scream at me or weep.
“Hate me all you like, but I did not touch her.” I shifted Alina in my arms so her head could rest comfortably on my shoulder.
“Bring her inside, first room on the second floor.” Phoebe glanced over her shoulder at the girls as she chewed at the skin around her nails. “Quickly, please.”
I did as I was told, attempting to be respectful of their domain.
As I walked up the stairs, other girls stole glances out of the corner of their eyes and whispered amongst themselves as they pretended they weren’t frightened and morbidly curious.
The room Phoebe led me to was dull and cold. I did not expect luxury, though it seemed Alina was focused on living as humbly as she could. It really would not hurt her to use some color in her decor.