9. Tori
TORI
Stefan was waiting for me when I got back to the condo.
I don’t know if I was more shocked by the fact that he was home so early, or that he seemed to be in such a great mood as he sat on the couch.
The smile he flashed glancing up at me was almost painfully joyful.
He looked younger, too, the recent stress and familiar worry lines suddenly gone from his face.
Obviously spending a perfect day with Anja and their son had had an impact on him.
“We should talk,” he said, full of energy.
“Yeah,” I agreed, my guard instantly up. “We should.”
I set my bag on the floor and dropped myself into a chair across from him, bracing for the worst. What I really wanted was to go to the guest room and hide under the covers with my hands over my ears, but now wasn’t the time to act like a little kid afraid of nightmare monsters; it was time to face the facts.
Besides, I’d thought of nothing but worst-case scenarios all day, and after seeing the paparazzi photo on The Dirt, I felt like whatever Stefan had to say to me was already firmly decided.
He was going to tell me he was leaving me for Anja and his new family.
I could feel it. There was no point in putting off this discussion any longer.
“So here’s the thing,” he began softly, leaning toward me.
“I already know,” I said, cutting him off as I fought back tears. I couldn’t stand to sit here and let this play out in slow motion. The last thing I wanted was for him to stretch out the agony. “I know about you and Anja.”
Hearing him actually say the words, or beat around the bush in some well-meaning attempt to let me down gently, would have destroyed me. Maybe I could preserve some dignity by cutting him off at the pass.
A look of confusion crossed his face. “What about me and Anja? What are you talking about?”
I cleared my throat and regained control of myself. “I saw the picture of you on The Dirt—one of the gossip websites,” I said calmly, trying to remove any hint of accusation from my tone. “All three of you, actually. At the zoo today.”
Stefan frowned and pulled out his phone, tapping at the screen for a moment before breaking out into a huge grin.
“Yeah, that’s us.” He turned his phone toward me. “It’s a great photo. I think it really captured the day.”
Refusing to look, I blurted, “A day I had no idea you were planning! How do you think I felt when I saw that?” Anger flickered in my chest at how callous he was acting.
“I had to cover in front of my friends! Pretend I already knew you were out on the town having the best time in the world with another woman and her son—your son,” I quickly corrected.
“Didn’t you get my text?” he asked, seeming genuinely puzzled.
“No…” I said cautiously. “I left my cell home by mistake when I was rushing around this morning.” What kind of text could he have sent?
Holding his cell out to me, Stefan said, “Just look at the message. Please.”
I took it from him and read what he’d sent: Took off work—going to the zoo to get to know Max better. Anja will accompany us. Let me know if this is a problem. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with any of this. 9:37 AM
Shaking my head, I handed the phone back. So he really hadn’t been trying to hide anything about his day with Anja—or Max, rather. In fact, he’d given me fair warning and tried to make sure it wouldn’t upset me. He’d been open and honest, just like I’d wanted.
I felt myself relax a little. The text did nothing to change the fact that the three of them looked like the perfect, happy family together, but at least it seemed like he hadn’t sat me down just now to break up with me. Not tonight, anyway.
“Will you sit with me, please?” he asked, gesturing to the couch.
Nodding, I rose from the chair and settled in beside him. “So how was it?” I asked. “With Max?”
“It was…such a good day,” Stefan said, almost in wonder.
He seemed oblivious to the turmoil I was feeling inside, but I set aside my emotions and leaned closer to listen. This wasn’t about me. This was about Stefan and his kid. Supporting their relationship wasn’t the problem; I just wish I knew where I fit into my husband’s new life.
“That’s great,” I said, and meant it. “I’m glad you’re getting a chance to know him.”
Stefan briefly filled me in on the conversation he’d had with Anja last night, saying she’d confessed to using her pregnancy as a bargaining chip with Konstantin, as a way to leave KZ Modeling and start a new life—not in Europe, but right here in the States.
My father-in-law had been more than happy to oblige, in return for Anja’s silence and cooperation in her own disappearance.
In the process, he’d been able to ensure that Stefan followed in his footsteps and stayed on the path to joining forces with KZM.
Sounded like a win for everyone involved. Except my husband.
“I’m sorry she hid all of this from you,” I said. “Max, especially. And for such a long time. You’ve been through so much.”
He shrugged. “In the end, it doesn’t matter.
The important thing is that she brought my kid back to me.
Everything between me and Anja died a long time ago, but Max—he’s everything.
You know how smart he is? He can name every kind of dinosaur.
He gave me a lecture about the functions of camouflage! ”
I couldn’t help smiling. It was obvious that Stefan was smitten with his kid. “He sounds pretty brilliant,” I said, meaning it. “I bet he’s a lot of fun to be around.”
“To be honest, I didn’t know if I was ready to be a father. Especially considering the way I was raised…”
He let his words trail off, staring into the distance, probably replaying the day he’d had.
I took his hand, squeezing it gently. My heart went out to him.
To the child he’d once been and the man he’d grown into today.
“Oh, Stefan. That’s not what defines you.
When it comes to being a parent, you get to make all your own choices. And I know they’d be good ones.”
Fatherhood would suit him. I’d already pictured it, envisioned how he would be with his kids. Strict, but loving. He would support them, encourage them to be their best selves. Do everything in his power to care for them and keep them safe and protected.
“I think I’m really ready,” he finally said, his gaze searching mine, a look of determination in his eyes. “I want to do right by my kid. Be a good dad.”
“You’re going to be great at it,” I told him.
And I meant it. It was endearing to hear him talk about the time he’d spent with Max, though the fact that I’d had nothing to do with Stefan’s new role was bittersweet.
It made me ache that I hadn’t been a part of it.
“I would’ve loved to have seen you with him today,” I added.
Stefan nodded. “I wish you’d been there, too. But it was probably better that you weren’t. Even Anja hung back all day, so the kid and I could have our one-on-one time.”
His words hurt, but at least he was being honest. Logically, I knew I would have just gotten in the way. But the reality of our situation stung.
“So what now?” I asked. “When will you see him again? This is just step one, right?”
“Right. So Anja wants us to get together tomorrow night, so we can all have dinner with my dad.” He shot me a look, as if trying to gauge my reaction.
“Okay…I guess I can handle that.” Dinner with Konstantin was far from the top of my list of favorite activities, but I’d manage. I could tell Stefan was still hesitating. “What else?”
He squeezed my hand as he spoke. “She said it might be too many new people if you were there too. But I told her that you’re my wife and I want you there with me. That we’re a package deal.”
“Great. I’ll definitely be there, then,” I said brightly, forcing a smile.
Anja’s suggestion seemed cruel, but I had to admit it made sense. Max was a child, caught in the middle of a lot of confusing things. The last thing he needed was another new face added into the mix.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Stefan said. “Anja’s just being overprotective.”
“I mean, I can see her point,” I said. “It’s a lot of strangers for a kid to be meeting all at once.”
“Max will be fine,” Stefan said breezily. “He’s a little shy at first, but he warms up fast. Just ask him what his favorite dinosaur is, and you guys will be best friends in no time.”
His reassuring smile did little to assuage the anxiety I was trying to hide. Because despite my husband’s efforts to keep me included, I knew I’d still be the third wheel. I could feel it more and more as this whole thing developed. There just wasn’t a place for me.
Even The Dirt seemed to think Stefan looked better with his shiny new insta-family.
And he’d really been in love with Anja once upon a time—she’d been his first love.
He’d cared enough for her all these years to continue searching for her, chasing after her.
And now he finally had her back. Along with an adorable child. What else did he need?
Stefan and I, on the other hand, had been thrown together for business reasons.
Ours was a marriage of convenience—one that wasn’t convenient anymore.
Though Stefan might not have realized it yet, Anja obviously did.
And Konstantin was the one who’d made all these moves to get me out of the picture.
I didn’t fit. I was the outsider. I always had been.
I knew what I had to do.