52. Graham
GRAHAM
“Ican’t believe they made you get rid of the tattoo,” Spencer says, reaching for my belt. His hand grazes the tattoo site.
“Hey!” I shove him off. “That fucking hurts.”
“You guys are way too close.” Hannah giggles.
Ryan reaches for my belt next. “Yeah, way too close.”
“Boys.” My mom appears out of nowhere with a plate of mini duck sliders. Then, quick as a snake, she grabs at my belt, too, while all my siblings snicker.
She makes a face. “Oof. That looks bad.”
“I still think you need another tattoo to cover it,” Spencer says. “You’ll always know what was underneath.”
“Dani’s mom is pretty anti-tattoo,” I remind them, tucking my shirt back in. “She cares a lot about appearances.”
“And she was okay with that?” Grayson nods toward the reception hall.
Dani’s little cousin is still wandering around in her pink-and-white tutu, accepting compliments from the handful of guests who actually showed up.
“You have to admit”—my mom nudges me—“that was an inspired rendition of Swan Lake. I never would’ve thought setting it to Snoop Dogg would work, but here we are.”
The bride and groom sit at opposite ends of the venue with their respective entourages.
“This is so awkward,” Hannah whispers. “I can’t believe the bride showed up.”
“They probably heard there wasn’t a pickle fountain,” Mom continues, crossing her arms.
“This party was too classy for a pickle fountain, Mom,” Bridget says.
“Which was the only reason I came.” She points at me and Ryan. “I need a pickle fountain at your weddings. Or I’m not coming. You can bring me cake in the hotel room,” she adds.
Dani approaches us, looking frazzled. “Thank you all so much for coming. We needed warm bodies.”
“You had an okay turnout,” I say gently.
“A lot of these people are out-of-town relatives who couldn’t cancel,” she admits. “No one from the office showed up. We have so much leftover food.”
“That’s why I brought Tupperware,” my mom jokes.
“Mom.” Hannah’s mortified. “This is a nice party.”
“Well”—Finn shrugs—“I brought Tupperware too.”
“Sorry, Dani.” I kiss her. “We really can’t take you anywhere.”
“I don’t know.” Mom snickers. “I kind of like the entertainment.”
Suddenly, Colette storms toward the band.
“Stop it! I hate that song! This is still my wedding, and I don’t want to hear it!” she screeches.
“Man,” Spencer mutters. “I thought she’d last longer.”
Money changes hands between my brothers.
Dani’s mom rushes over.
“Dani, you need to do something. Colette is yelling at the band.”
“Her cousin needs to do something,” Dani counters.
Dani’s dad joins us, shaking hands. “I’m so sorry. I feel like we keep inviting you all to these insane-asylum gatherings. We’ll have you over for a proper family dinner.”
“No worries! I like free food!” My mom beams. “And Frank likes the free bar!” she adds.
“I promise,” Dani’s dad says, “there won’t be any more surprise morning-show appearances. Dani is actually very boring and drama-free.”
“I’m still waiting for the magician,” my mom quips.
“And your son is very nice,” Linda adds, “considering he engages in online dating.”
“We think so too,” Mom deadpans. “You can’t trust men who message girls they don’t know online… then move them into their swanky penthouses.”
“Dani’s not officially moving in until they’re engaged,” Linda replies with a pointed look at me. “Which should be any day now.”
“Costco has a great selection of rings.” Dani’s dad smiles.
“I’ll have to take a look,” I reply.
“It’s a Costco date,” Hank declares.
“You cannot propose to her with a Costco ring.” Ryan digs his finger into my ribs.
“As if Spencer would let me.”
The younger boys arrive with plates piled high.
“Excuse me,” Frank growls. “Leave some food for other people.”
“Dani said we could have as much as we wanted!” Max protests.
“There’s tons left,” Shawn adds. “Mini baked-brie bites, too, Mom.”
“Score!” my mom whoops. “I have tinfoil in my purse.”
There’s yelling near the stage.
“Oh, honestly, Dani.” Her mom sighs and heads to the front of the ballroom.
“How is this my problem?” Dani snaps, chasing after her.
We watch as the band starts packing up.
Frank gives me a questioning look. “You didn’t come clean to her parents?”
I shrug helplessly. “Dani tried. They thought it was a joke.”
Suddenly, Colette grabs the microphone.
“Hell yeah!” Dani’s grandmother cheers. “Open mic night!”
“I have to say,” Colette begins, her voice shaking, “this has been a disaster from day one. Dani, I blame you. You sabotaged my wedding and my relationship.”
“Are you serious?” Dani shouts, jumping onto the stage. “I organized your bachelorette party!”
I hand Grayson my drink and push up to the stage, where Colette is going completely unhinged and Dani’s losing it.
“Honestly, dear, you’re making a scene,” Dani’s mother interrupts them, shooing her away.
I take the microphone.
The crowd is thin. My family makes up most of it.
“Thank you all for coming.” My voice echoes over the venue. “Obviously, this isn’t my and Dani’s wedding.”
“It could be!” her grandmother calls out.
“Would he pay for it?” Vivienne Belmont asks loudly.
“No!” Linda shouts then forces a smile. “I mean, we have to plan a very nice wedding.”
I look at Dani, the love of my life.
“I know we didn’t meet under the best circumstances,” I say. “And I’m sorry for how I hurt you. Because I love you. And I never want to hurt you again.”
The room goes still.
“I’d marry you today,” I add quietly, “because I never want to be without you.”
“This better not be your proposal!” Hannah calls.
“Boo!” Spencer yells.
“You cannot propose at my wedding!” Colette screeches.
“He’s not proposing!” Dani rushes up beside me. “Don’t worry!”
I take her hands. “I know I said I want to keep you with me forever because you’re mine, but I also like doing things with you and seeing people.
You’re a good friend, Dani. I know you’re going to be an amazing wife, but you’re a good friend to me and my family, and I want you to know that I appreciate everything you do. And I love you.”
She smiles softly. “I love you, Graham, and I want to marry you, but also this is fairly abnormal for me—my social battery isn’t that high, so I hope you like long evenings in bed with Netflix and takeout.”
“I’ll take whatever time I can get.” I smile down at her then lean in and kiss her softly.
“We need to liven this up!” her grandmother shouts. “It’s like a funeral in here!”
“Gran!” Dani’s horrified.
I grab Dani and swing her off the stage while her granny storms it.
“Who wants open mic night?”
“I have a poem I’d like to read.” One of Dani’s very drunk out-of-town aunts stumbles up onto the stage.
“Absolutely not—who invited her? Also, she’s going to steal the presents.”
“I’m not!” the aunt slurs. “Your gigolo is stealing the presents!”
“Magnus the Marvelous has arrived! However, he needs his parking validated before he can begin the show!”
Sure enough, there’s a man in a big black cape.
“Man, weddings really bring the roaches out of the woodwork,” Piper mutters to Dani.
“Gran, did you invite him?” Dani demands in horror.
“Ooh, is this the famous dildo magic show? Now I’m really glad I canceled dinner with your parents for this, Frank!” Mom grins.
“You need to leave.” Dani hurries toward the magician. “We are not paying you.”
“Magnus the Marvelous requires payment up front.”
“Then he needs to leave.”
“But the parking—”
“Fine, I will validate it, but then you need to go.”
Suddenly, the doors to the ballroom slam open.
“Delivery for Danielle Lockwood?”
A kid pushes in a cart stacked with pizza boxes.
“Dani, did you order more food?” her mom demands.
“I didn’t order that!” she insists.
Jeremy raises his hand. “Colette wouldn’t let me order pizza. It’s my wedding, too, and I want pizza.”
The younger kids cheer.
An elderly woman approaches us as I’m counting out bills for the pizza.
“I have to ask,” Mrs. Prescott says, “are the rumors true?”
“Yes, I did kidnap Dani off a street corner,” I tell her solemnly.
“You two are so funny. Now—there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know you met online. Was it a fancy billionaire dating site?”
“Actually, just a standard message board,” Dani says faintly.
“That’s where my daughter met her boyfriend! Not weird at all. Though I tell people they met at a polo charity match.” She sighs. “There’s no romance to saying you met online. Don’t forget my garden party. I expect to see you there!”
I lean down to kiss Dani. “Can I kidnap you for this garden party?”
“You don’t have to kidnap me,” she says. “I’d stalk you there anyway.”