Chapter 32
clem
The Winterberry Junction Christmas Eve parade is something out of a storybook or fairy tale. I’ve seen nothing like it. Even Willa’s description didn’t do it the justice it deserves.
My boys have been mesmerized since the first truck drove by.
It’s freaking cold—like fifteen degrees or something stupid like that—and snow covers the ground, yet they haven’t complained once.
They haven’t moved from their chairs, demanded a snack, or asked when it was going to end.
A magical spell has been cast on them, and I wonder how long I can make this last.
“Here come the boys,” Heidi says from beside me.
By “the boys,” she means her brothers. We’re camped out on the lawn of the Fernwood Fables B and B, at the end of the parade route. As much as I’ve enjoyed it, I’m glad it’s the end. I need to warm up, preferably with a hot beverage and a hotter shower.
A red truck cruises down the street, Dax behind the wheel.
“There’s Dax,” Jace shouts, jumping from his seat and waving his arms. “And Santa.” His arms wave wildly, calling out Santa’s name at the top of his lungs.
“Will he be disappointed when he realizes it’s Beckett?” Heidi muses. Next to her, Isla is bundled up in a snowsuit with fur around the hood, sitting on Lenny’s shoulders, offering her the best view. She looks adorable, clapping her hands, having the time of her life.
“Long as Atlas doesn’t say a word, he won’t figure it out.” I hope. Much as we’ve explained there are “helper” Santas, he’s too young to have the magic of Christmas ruined. Especially by his uncle. I didn’t tell Atlas it was Uncle Beckett, but the kid’s perceptive. Takes after his aunt that way.
As the truck comes to a stop, I catch sight of Dax’s gaze on me. I wave, and he returns it with one of his own. Damn, he’s sexy, and I’m smitten. I can’t get enough of him.
Santa waves to his fans, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he stays in the truck. “Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas!” he calls out, sounding almost nothing like Beckett. He deepened his voice, totally getting into character.
Heidi hip bumps me. “Dax is staring at you like you’re his next meal. Make sure you tell him to tone it down, would ya? It’s gross thinking of my brother that way.” She shudders, though it might be from the gust of wind kicking up around us.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I tell her, meeting Dax’s heated stare.
All too soon, the truck moves again, and Santa and his driver are driving away, signaling the end of the parade.
Jace runs up to me. “It’s over?” His little face can’t decide whether to be happy or sad.
“It is, but that was so fun, right?”
“Yeah. Now what?”
“Now, we go inside and drink hot chocolate while we wait for Uncle Beckett and Dax to finish up their parade duties.”
“I saw Dax driving Santa’s truck, but where was Uncle Beckett?” Atlas questions, his tone serious. “How did I miss him?”
“He usually walks alongside one float. Maybe he was on the other side where you couldn’t see him,” Heidi lies.
“Oh, bummer.”
Relieved that was an easy answer, I help them fold up their chairs before we trudge inside to warm up. It’s our first visit to the B and B, and I’m curious to check it out.
The boys shake off their coats and boots in the doorway, leaving them for me to pick up as they take off after Lenny to see something “really cool.” I spy a fire in the living room to my left, and after removing my coat, I plant myself on the couch, stretching my hands—even with ski gloves, are completely frozen—close to the warmth without burning them.
“I’m never leaving this position. Have my mail forwarded and my meals delivered. ”
“How will you use the bathroom?” Leave it to Willa to be practical.
“I’ll have some adult diapers delivered.”
“Gross, Clementine.” Willa’s got Isla in her arms, and she’s glowing.
“You look good with a baby, sis.”
“Thank you. Don’t tell Heidi I’m borrowing her for the evening.”
“I heard that,” Heidi says, coming into the room with a tray of mugs.
She hands one to me and places the tray on the coffee table, grabbing one for herself.
“Lenny would never let me live it down if you took her tonight, but tomorrow night, she’s all yours.
” She cocks her head to the side. “Maybe you could seriously take her tomorrow. She’s been the biggest cockblocker lately, and Lenny’s annoyed. ”
“Of course, we’d love to have her.” Willa covers Isla’s ears with her hands. “Have all the sex without having to worry about her.”
A coat of red stains Heidi’s cheeks. “Um, yeah. Thanks. Lenny will be thrilled.”
Willa looks at me. “Might as well make it a party. We’ll take the boys, too. They can stay after dinner.”
“Yes,” I agree immediately. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”
I’m so giddy and can’t wait to tell Dax. Best Christmas present ever. And if there are any issues with them sleeping there, we’re close enough to come get them.
“Shania might feel left out.”
“She’s of course welcome, too. I’ll text her right now.”
Heidi takes Isla off Willa’s lap, setting her down on the floor, and she takes off running. “Leonard, she’s on the run, heading toward the kitchen.”
“Roger, Heidi.”
“I’ll get her,” I hear Atlas call out, followed by Isla’s laughter when she’s “caught.”
“Your boys are precious, Clem. We all love them.”
“Thanks.” I slip off my boots and tuck my feet under my legs.
“They love your family. Atlas keeps asking when he can go back to your parents’ house.
Your dad mentioned something about an old video game, and my guy is intrigued.
I can’t imagine he’ll be impressed with the graphics or controller, but I won’t be the one to rain on his parade.
” I blow on the mug, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. “Yum. This is delicious.”
“Thanks. It’s been cooking all day in the slow cooker.”
While we wait for the Nicholas men to return from the parade, Willa, Heidi, and I chat.
“Are the boys excited for tomorrow morning?” Heidi asks. “I’m not sure how much Isla understands at this age, but it will be more than last year. I’m excited for her.” She giggles.
“They’re beyond excited. I’m not sure how I’m going to get them to sleep tonight.”
The front door opens, but I’m blocked from seeing who’s here. At Jace’s, “Daddy!” I freeze. The air drains from my lungs, and I feel my face paling.
It can’t be.
He can’t be here.
How did he know where to find us?
What the hell?
I push to my feet so fast, I nearly trip over the coffee table. I’m in the foyer in a flash, and damn it. Keith’s here, in the flesh, both boys hugging him.
“What are you doing here?” I snap. I’m agitated. How dare he show up here without letting me know he was coming. Would giving me a heads-up have been so hard?
For him, yes.
“It’s Christmas. Had to see my boys.”
Internally, I scoff. His boys? Right. He hasn’t seen them since we left for Winterberry Junction this summer, and he’s barely talked to them.
Yet, now he’s here. Showing up on Christmas Eve.
For what? Once he canceled having us come to North Carolina, I figured we were in the clear and I wouldn’t have to share the holiday with him. Leave it to him to prove me wrong.
And annoy me on Christmas Eve.
“Hey, everything okay?” Willa stops short when she sees the visitor. “Keith. Hi.”
“Willa.” It’s not complete disdain for my sister, but there’s no love lost between the two of them. Probably because Willa warned me against getting involved with him years ago. She tolerates him because he’s the boys’ father, less so after we found out the truth.
I fist my hands on my hips. “This wasn’t part of our agreement,” I try. I have to toe the line in front of my kids. I can’t let them know their dad’s a piece of shit. They’ll figure it out on their own.
“My lawyer emailed you an updated version. Have you not read it?”
Don’t give him the satisfaction of reacting. Don’t play games with him. Not in front of the boys or the audience.
I shrug. “I’ve been busy. Taking care of the children. Getting ready for the holiday. Working.” I practically spit the last word at him.
He never appreciated or supported my “work,” never thought I’d make anything of it. Even when I proved him wrong time after time, he still turned his nose up at it.
The bastard dares to look smug. “Since I’m here, can I take them to dinner?”
“Yes,” Atlas answers. “I know just the place.”
I can’t stoop to Keith’s level, and I won’t use my kids as pawns in the games he wants to play.
I plaster on a smile. “Sure thing,” I bite out. “You want to take them now?” It breaks my heart to say it. It’s freaking Christmas Eve. We had plans, and now he’s gonna swoop in and ruin them all?
I can’t blame my kids for wanting to spend time with him. He sucks in all the ways, but he’s still their dad.
My suggestion flusters Keith, like he wasn’t prepared for me to agree, which puts me back in a position of control. Why I let myself get worked up by him is a mystery. It always, always, works out in my favor, something I need to keep in mind.
“Uh, sure,” he finally says, nearly stuttering over his words.
“Great.” I clap my hands, holding on to my last nerve, not wanting to crack in front of my kids. In front of Heidi, who’s watching the entire exchange. “Boys, change of plans. Dinner with Daddy. How fun.”
Jace rushes over to me. “Will Dax be mad we’re not eating with him?”
Oh, my sweet boy, thinking of someone other than himself. I love that it’s Dax.
I shake my head, afraid of what I might say, how it might come out. Swallowing down the lump of emotion in my throat, I state, “Nope.” I want to add more, but I can’t.
My answer brings a smile to his face. “Make sure to remind him about our plans for Santa later tonight.”
“I will. Don’t worry. He’ll be there.” There’s conviction in my tone. Of course, he’ll be there. He keeps his promises. I glance at Keith. “Don’t keep them out too late. They need to head to bed on the earlier side.”
“Okay. Thanks, Clem.” He holds out his hand for Jace to take. I wish the simple act didn’t break my heart so much. It’s only a matter of time before my boy is crushed. “Oh, um. Can I grab his car seat from your car?”
“You don’t—” I start, anger boiling up. He comes all this way and doesn’t have a car seat? “You know what? Never mind. Yeah, I’ll put it in for you.” Hastily, I shove my arms into my coat sleeves and my feet into my boots. The boys follow suit.
“You okay?” Willa whispers next to me.
“Dandy,” I grit out.
Once I’m ready to brave the elements, I nearly rip the door off the hinges and head outside, down the porch steps, and to the back of the bed-and-breakfast where my car is.
The cold air does nothing to tamp down the fire burning through my veins at the turn of events this night has taken.
Fury courses through me, and it’s a struggle to get the seat out of the van.
When I finally get it unlatched, I heave it into my arms and make the trek back to the front where a rental car is parked.
I want to throw it on the ground—or better, at my ex—but I restrain my anger. I can’t be petty in front of my kids.
Keith unlocks the doors, and I snap it in place, making sure it’s secure.
“All set. Come, give Mama hugs.” Jace rushes first, and I pick him up, squeezing him to me like he’ll be gone longer than one meal. “Love you, Jacey.”
“Love you, Mama.”
With a final squeeze, I lower him to the ground, welcoming Atlas into my arms. Until he refuses, he gets all the hugs.
“Are you mad?”
His question catches me off guard. I’ve done a horrible job of hiding it.
“Surprised. Not mad. You should spend some time on Christmas Eve with Daddy. I wish I knew he was coming so I could have planned the night differently.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. His expression is torn, but I’m uncertain why. “Can you save me some of the beef?”
“Of course.” He smiles at my answer, satisfied he’ll get the best of both worlds.
“What’s going on here?” Dax’s voice booms through the evening air. He seeks me out, his face a myriad of emotions.
“Daddy came for dinner,” Atlas supplies, his tone chipper.
“Daddy?” Dax repeats, his gaze not leaving mine.
“Daddy,” I confirm, trying not to give away how I’m feeling. Not yet. Not until the boys are out of sight. “He’s taking them for Christmas Eve dinner.” I’m not sure if I achieved the goal as my voice catches.
“And he brought presents,” Jace adds from the back seat.
I hope that’s true. They’ll be so disappointed if not. Not that they’ve asked if Daddy had presents for them, but now that he’s here and saying these things, I hope he follows through. For once in his life.
Atlas runs up to Dax. “We’re gonna eat dinner with our dad, but we’ll be home in time for the plans for Santa, k?” There’s so much hope in his voice, but I’m not worried about Dax’s response.
“Sounds good, Ace. Have a good meal with your dad, and I’ll see you later.”
Atlas lights up at Dax’s words and throws his arms around him. When Keith clears his throat, Atlas quickly lets go. Damn bastard. Atlas isn’t confused about who his father is.
“See you later.” I steal another hug before he climbs into Keith’s car, Keith slamming the door behind him.
“Does Atlas know your address so I can drop them off?”
“Yeah, they both know it. Can’t give you directions though.”
“Eight good?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Keith’s eyes flick to the man standing behind me, most likely shooting daggers his way. “Uh, once they’re in bed, can we talk?”
“No. I have nothing to say to you unless it’s about them.”
He nods quickly. Too quickly. “Yeah, it is.”
Sure, I believe that.
My lawyer would tell me to give him a chance, hear him out, and as soon as the conversation veers away from the kids, I can be done.
“Okay,” I agree reluctantly.
I hope I know what I’m doing.