Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
BE FEARLESS
O liver waited until we were far enough away from the shop where Vaughn wouldn’t be able to see us before he wrapped his hands around mine and lifted them to the steering wheel. His warmth was still seeping into my soul and I felt my focus becoming a struggle.
Oliver Hart was the sole distractor and I had never experienced this with him before.
Over the past few years, I had noticed my attraction for him growing deeper. It was like our friendship had shifted within the past few weeks, and now I was sitting on his lap while he was showing me how to operate a boat. It was completely innocent, yet I couldn’t fight my heart as it threatened to beat out of my chest.
“I don’t think I can do this, Ollie,” I told him, raising my voice over the sound of the engine. “It just doesn’t feel natural.”
Oliver’s breath was warm against my ear as he leaned forward. “You’ve got this, Luna,” he encouraged me as he guided one of my hands to avoid the wake from another boat. “It’s just like driving a car.”
“There aren’t any waves on the road,” I deadpanned, which earned a soft chuckle from my best friend.
“Touché,” he said, his breath tickling my skin. “I’m right here with you. I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
My hands began to sweat as I clutched the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I started to regret adding this to my list and was questioning my ability to do so. It didn’t feel natural, the way so many outside factors determined the boat’s movement through the water. The engine and mechanical parts only did so much. I had no control over what the water beneath us decided to do.
“Just breathe, Luna,” Oliver breathed in my ear as he began to stroke the backs of my hands with his thumbs. “Inhale and exhale, over and over. I got you.”
He didn’t stop, as he counted along with my breathing until I calmed down. His words were like silk against my eardrums, sliding against them and tangling themselves in my soul. He had this uncanny way of chasing my worries away when they refused to leave on their own.
“Why am I freaking out over this?” I half laughed, half choked out the words.
“Because it’s something new. It’s not your safe little bubble you’re used to,” he murmured as he continued to ease my worried mind. “Doing something new is always scary, but it’s about conquering your fears. Make this boat and this lake your bitch, Luna Truly.”
I laughed at Oliver. His words made no sense—I couldn’t simply make them my bitch, but the sentiment was there. He wanted me to be fearless, and with him I felt superior. Like I was riding on a cloud and I could conquer anything with him at my side.
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out. “Okay.” I nodded, swallowing roughly. “I got this.”
Oliver lifted his hands away from mine and I instantly noticed his absence. His palms were warm as he rested them on my thighs and gave me a reassuring squeeze. He was the literal rock in my life—the glue that held me together when life threatened to tear me apart.
I never had much control over what happened in my life, but Oliver was always there to remind me of the things I could control. He couldn’t help the unpredictable factors, so he made sure he could with everything else.
He was my anchor. The one who made sure the tumultuous waves of life didn’t pull me out to sea.
My hands gripped the steering wheel, and I squinted my eyes against the harsh sunlight as I slowly maneuvered the boat around the lake. There weren’t any boats near us so I didn’t have to worry about the wake. The water was calm, and I was doing it.
“You’re doing great, Luna.” Oliver smiled against my ear. “Drive it over into that small cove over there,” he said as he lifted his hand and pointed his finger to the left.
Following his instruction, I turned the wheel and drove the boat across the lake. My lips were spread wide with a grin I was no longer able to fight. We weren’t going very fast, and I watched Oliver’s hand land on the gas as he began to push it forward.
I glanced at him over my shoulder, my stomach fluttering as the boat began to pick up speed. He winked at me as he wrapped his other arm around my waist, holding me firmly against him. I trusted Ollie with every breath of my life. He wasn’t reckless and I knew he wouldn’t lead me astray. He would never put me in a dangerous situation, not if he didn’t feel I was safe.
The boat carried us across the water, my onyx colored hair whipping around in the wind. It was such a freeing feeling, being in control as it felt like we were doing the impossible. The boat jumped around from different waves we hit, but I was able to keep the wheel straight.
We were cruising across the lake and it felt like we were floating through the sky. I had never been on a plane to know what that actually felt like, but I imagined it to be something similar.
A laugh slipped from my lips and tears sprang to my eyes as I was overcome with emotion. I didn’t believe in myself when it came to trying new things, but once again Ollie proved me wrong. He challenged me, even when I was terrified.
“There’s my fearless Luna.” He chuckled against my ear as he slowed our speed when we reached the cove. He dialed it back until we were barely moving and killed the engine as we began to coast into it.
I spun my legs around until I was sitting sideways on his lap. My body turned to face him and his green eyes collided with mine. He smiled brightly, his perfect white teeth showing as his grin crinkled the corners of his eyes. His dark wavy hair was a tousled, tangled mess and his cheeks were tinted pink.
“I did it, Ollie.” I smiled at him, a sense of pride building inside me. My heart pounded erratically in my chest and my stomach began to do somersaults as my eyes bounced back and forth between his. “I didn’t think I could actually do it.”
A wave of emotion passed through his irises. Oliver’s arm was still wrapped around me, but it was around my back now. I had a heightened sense of awareness of how close he was and his warm hand wrapped around my waist. “I always knew you could.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I whispered, not fully trusting my voice with the way he was looking at me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was washing over his expression, but it was different. He had looked at me like this before, but it was fleeting.
They were all moments of us being closer than we should have been. The moments where the lines of our friendship appeared to be blurred. In the photo booth. Dancing at prom. The treehouse on graduation night.
“You’re right.” He smirked as he lifted his eyebrows and nodded. His expression transformed into a playful one and his tone was lighter, more carefree. “They wouldn’t have rented you a boat with just your learner’s permit. So, you literally couldn’t have rented a boat without me.”
Our laughter danced across the lake, and I shook my head at him, rolling my eyes. “You’re impossible, Oliver Hart.”
“Yeah, but you love me,” he retorted with a wink as he lifted me from his lap.
I followed behind him as he grabbed a bag I hadn’t noticed he’d brought along. Oliver spread out an entire lunch he packed for us. He helped me onto the floor of the boat, making sure I was comfortable before he handed me a sandwich.
Even as our day on the lake came to an end, I couldn't get his words out of my head.
Oliver let me drive the boat back to the center of the lake before he took over and drove us back to the dock. We handed it over to Vaughn, who still had me wanting to know his story and the reason for his limp.
Oliver drove us home, but he made sure to park his car in my driveway instead of his own. He helped me into the house before he carried all my things in for me. I was too tired to fight him or I would have insisted I help. It had been a long day and my body was completely worn out.
But as I tucked myself into bed that night, my mind was still circling back to Oliver on the boat.
Yeah, but you love me…
His words held more weight than gold and he would never know.
I could never let him know the truth about how I felt.
Even if Oliver Hart could love me, it would just be a cruel joke against him from the universe. He would outlive me, as I would expect him to. It would be one thing to break someone's heart because of a failed relationship but it was entirely different if the broken heart came from someone’s death. There’s no way to heal a wound that deep.
It was bad enough that one day, Oliver would have to bury his best friend.
I wouldn’t let him bury the person his heart belonged to, too.