Chapter Ten
ALEX
A Week Later
As I study the new design for the megacomplex, I notice Dave, the design engineer, has positioned the new tattoo studio almost exactly where Hope & Faith Ink is right now. I couldn’t be more pleased with his work. The size of the store is almost double that of Tomi’s studio right now, and I’m thrilled that the approval has gone through, so I can get the designers working on the layout for the internal design.
The problem—I haven’t been able to talk to Tomi about all this, about the new shop, about me. I know that in a little over a week, Tomi is going to have to say goodbye to her current place. And then what? She’ll be out of a job with no income to keep her and Levi going. She’s already started talking to me about going to work as a checkout clerk. It will be a dramatic wage drop, and I have no idea how that will support them both.
She’s so fucking stubborn.
I’m caught in the dead zone. I want to tell her about this amazing place I’m going to build for her. When I do, she’ll know who I am. I’ll lose her anyway. I have to do it right, or the entire thing could fail.
The door to my office swings open with a harsh creak as my father storms inside in his usual manner. I casually glance up from my work as he slams a file down in front of me, making a gust of air woosh into my face. He stands back with his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed, his ears practically flaming.
“What is it this time, Dad?” I figure it’s best just to get this over with.
He barks out a laugh like he’s offended by my tone. I don’t particularly care.
“You going to take that attitude with me, boy? When it’s you who’s being the damn fool?”
I slump back in my chair, staring him dead in the eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“You think I wouldn’t find out?”
Raising my brow, I shrug. “Wanna expand a little more there, Dad?”
He slams my desk, the vein in his neck throbbing so much it might burst at any second. “You and this tattoo studio. I did some digging… why the hell would my son care about a damn tattoo studio?”
I sit taller, my muscles going rigid. “It’s a great shop, it brings in a good profit—”
“Bullshit! This is all just some ploy for you to get your new piece of ass into my megacomplex!”
“You know nothing about Tomi—” I erupt.
“I. Don’t. Car—”
“You should! Her parents and sister died, leaving her alone to raise and support her younger autistic brother. She’s the only one who can provide for him, Dad…” I pause, inhaling a breath. “Taking this shop from her, taking the memories and the stability away from her, is uprooting their entire lives. You have to see how we’re affecting her, affecting them. It’s all about the bigger picture, Dad.”
With his face scrunched, he crosses his arms again. “No. I won’t be a party to handouts. I only want retailers in the megacomplex who’ll better the street appeal, and if this woman won’t make the rent and keep up her end of the bargain, then the studio goes.”
Oh fuck! This was the ace up my sleeve, the only way I could see Tomi possibly forgiving me. If I had a shop for her waiting, maybe, just maybe, she could forgive me.
I can’t let this go.
I need to fight—for my future with Tomi and a future for Tomi.
Because if this doesn’t happen, we’re both screwed.
“Then I’ll do it,” I blurt out.
Dad squints as he slumps. “You’ll do what? ”
“It doesn’t matter if she can’t pay the rent… I’ll pay it, in full, upfront, for a year, and then I’ll pay it each week from then on. She doesn’t even need to know about it.”
Dad’s entire body jolts back, his body wracking with his booming laughter as it echoes off my walls. I grit my teeth as I watch him. “Jesus fucking Christ, son. You’re so whipped, you don’t even know when you’re making a fool of yourself.” He exhales. “But sure, go ahead, pay the rent, design the studio, deck it out how she wants… then tell her who you are, Alex, because I know you haven’t.” His eyes narrow on me. “See how she takes the news.”
His words take precision aim and hit right where they’re meant to. I slump as my father turns, storming out of the room. I spin, grab my chair, and turn it upright, then slouch into it. Dad slams my door behind him, making my certificates on the walls rattle with the force. I groan as I glance back at my desk, sliding the file out of the way to see Tomi’s new outline of Hope & Faith Ink lying before me.
I know I’m making all the wrong judgment calls, but I’m doing them for the right reasons.
I just hope Tomi sees it that way.
The Weekend
After a hectic work week, Tomi invited me to go to the zoo with her and Levi. She said he hasn’t been since he was ten, but he’s doing a project at school on lions, of all things, so what better way to work on a project than seeing his favorite animal up close and personal?
But it’s a risk.
It could be a sensory overload for him, so she wanted someone to come with her.
Just for support.
I’m so damn honored she chose me.
Walking hand in hand with Tomi, Levi walks ahead of us with his trusty backpack on, and he’s in his element. He’s gawking at all the animal enclosures. Levi’s like my own little brother. I can’t explain it, I just want to look out for him. He’s a good kid.
It’s a beautiful spring day, and the sun shines brightly in the sky, which is lightly spattered with fluffy white clouds. A light breeze rustles the bright green leaves as they dance against each other.
Today is fucking glorious.
It’s not too crowded, but it’s good to spend some time together, the three of us. Levi’s excited as he bounces from enclosure to enclosure, perhaps a little more hyper than normal, with everything making him happy today.
I wish I felt as at ease after everything with my father, but I need to set it aside and simply enjoy my time and not worry about the secret haunting me right now.
Tomi smiles up at me carelessly. She’s here with me and her amazing brother, who’s coping so well.
Things are going great.
“It’s up here, Tomi!” Levi yells, making a little girl near him jump and drop her ice cream. She pouts as her mother frowns and moves to comfort her daughter.
“Levi, inside voice, please,” Tomi mumbles to him.
Levi tilts his head, assessing her choice of words. “But we’re outside?”
“It’s not a literal thing, Levi, just… don’t yell, okay? You’ll scare people and the animals.”
He puts his finger up to his mouth. “Quiet like a mouse.”
“Yes, gotta be quiet around the animals,” Tomi instructs.
He nods as he turns and keeps walking. Then suddenly turns back to face us. “But the animals aren’t quiet. Why don’t they follow the rules?”
I chuckle. “Because this is their house, their rules, buddy.”
His face takes on a stern expression like he’s processing. “Animals’ house, their rules. We must be quiet.”
“Exactly,” I reply, making Tomi smile up at me.
Levi bounces on his toes, then takes off faster, his hand outstretched as he points toward an enclosure, and we follow him, walking right up to the reason we came. The lion enclosure.
Levi is pressed right up against the barrier, studying the giant male lion who’s basking in the sun. Levi’s in the middle of two other children—of course—as we stand back, letting him have his fill of his favorite animal. He’s bouncing up and down on the spot, but he remains quiet, which is a good thing.
Tomi tightens her hand in mine as she glances up at me. “He’s so excited. I’m happy we were able to give him this.”
I bring my hand up to her cheek and caress it, tenderly gazing into her eyes. “You’re a wonderful caregiver for him, Tomi. You give him everything he needs. Don’t ever doubt it.” She weakly smiles as I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. She tastes like wild berries—the flavor’s intoxicating, sending a shiver right through me.
Suddenly, the lion roars. I tense, breaking apart from Tomi and staring straight at Levi. He’s hunched with his hands covering his ears from the loud noise.
Then it all happens so damn fast.
The little girl beside him screams so loudly it pierces my ears, making me wince as she lets go of the balloon she’s holding. It flies straight up into the fence, bursting and sending a bang through the air as the little girl and the boy on the other side of Levi turn and start running, but as they do, they bump into Levi, almost knocking him to the ground.
Levi screams, rattling through my very foundation.
“Be quiet!” Levi yells at the top of his lungs, so loud his voice cracks under the strain as he continues to grip onto his ears, rocking back and forth.
I don’t waste a second and take off to grab him, but he spots me coming, then bolts in the other direction, knocking little kids over on his way. They burst out crying as my feet pound hard on the concrete.
Levi’s freaking out, and I need to stop him before he hurts himself or someone else. I’m quick as Levi runs into a walkway with an overgrown arch. It’s secluded, and not many people are here, but they watch Levi as he groans and runs away from me.
I’m gaining on him, then wrap my arms around his body. I yank him to me as I pull us to a stop. Wrapping him up tight in my arms, he fights me with all that he has as he moans loud, his hands coming down to punch into my back. I grimace as he unleashes his fury on me, but I don’t care as long as I have him contained and safe. That’s all I care about. His fists slam into my back, hitting so hard I know it will bruise as I run my hands tightly around him, holding him into place, trying to placate him. “You’re okay, Levi, I’m right here. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you,” I tell him.
But he continues to moan against my ear as he thrashes about in my grip. “Be quiet,” he yells.
“The noise is gone. You’re okay,” I murmur as I see Tomi rush in behind Levi, tears streaming down her beautiful, panicked face as she moves in cautiously behind Levi to gain access to his backpack. She glances at me. I nod at her, letting her know I have him tight.
He can’t hurt her.
He might only be sixteen, but he’s strong as hell.
She opens his backpack and pulls out his trusty earmuffs, then moves into place and tries to shove them on his ears, but his head is thrashing about. I grip him harder, making him moan in anguish as Tomi finally manages to place the earmuffs over his ears and on his head. It instantly calms him down. Eventually, he stops beating my back and goes limp.
Tomi sobs as I grip Levi, comforting him in my arms. He grasps onto me like I’m his lifeline as I hold him, letting Levi know I’m not going to let him go.
Eventually, his energy dissolves. He’s wrapped his legs and arms around my body. I gently sit him down on a nearby bench, then squat at his feet. He tries to hit me again, but I block him with one hand. He’s totally exhausted. The sight of his weakness sends sadness through me as I gently reach into my pocket, pulling out his blue fidget spinner.
I put it in my pocket this morning just in case we needed it today to keep Levi entertained. Maybe he needs it to settle his mind right now.
I glance at him. “If you take a breath, everything will be all right. The noise is gone, and all you can hear is me. Play with this for a while. Okay?”
His head moves infinitesimally in a nod, so I hand it to him. He takes it, adjusting his earmuffs on his head but leaving them on as he slowly rotates the spinner, concentrating as it whirls around in his fingers. I stand, inhaling deeply. The area smells like lavender—it’s calming and soothing and just what Levi needs. The walkway is vacant of all other people right now, which is a blessing. He simply needs some time to breathe.
I turn and study Tomi’s expression. She’s devastated. Turning away from the two of us, she folds her arms around her body for comfort. Stepping over to her, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to my chest. Instantly, she bursts into tears.
I didn’t feel any ounce of fear or panic in the situation. Somehow, I knew what I had to do. I’ve made sure to educate myself on the issues Levi has in case it ever happened while I was with him, so I was prepared. What I didn’t read up on was how badly it affects the loved ones around him.
“It’s going to be all right.”
She sniffles, her bottom lip trembling. “He’d have been fine if we didn’t bring him here. This is all my fault. I know his condition, I knew this was a possibility, but he’s been doing so well the last few years with no severe meltdowns. Nothing this bad has happened for so damn long, I’ve gotten complacent. I should have known after he had a minor outburst when I told him about the shop. I knew he was on edge. This was too much.” She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m a terrible caregiver and sister.”
I pull her to me, shaking my head. “This isn’t your fault. Too many things happened at the same time… the lion, the balloon, the screaming kids. We couldn’t have foreseen that, Tomi. He’s had a great time here today, and he got to see a lion in the flesh.”
She sniffles, glancing over at Levi. He’s content to twirl his spinner, yet he’s totally wiped out.
“True, he did get to tick something off his bucket list.”
Chuckling, I wipe a tear from her cheek. “Where’s that feisty, sassy woman I know? This isn’t you.”
“I’m strong in everything I do, but when it comes to Levi, I’m weak. Seeing him meltdown like that…” She sniffs. “It breaks me every damn time. He panics, and I panic, it’s a vicious circle, and one I will never get used to. Mom was so good with him. She knew exactly what to do in these circumstances… so do you.”
Pulling her to me, I kiss her forehead. “Even a girl who’s as hard as stone is soft on the inside.”
She giggles, pushing me away from her while crinkling up her nose with a feisty expression back on her face.
There’s my girl.
She walks over to Levi, bending down at his feet as I walk over beside her.
Levi glances up at us both and smiles weakly. “I saw a lion.”
Tomi’s face lights up like the fourth of fucking July. “Yeah, you did.”
Levi’s mouth turns up in the corner, appearing unsure. “He was very loud.”
Tomi chuckles and slides onto the seat beside Levi, so I move in on the other side of him, making sure he’s in the middle. Levi glances at me and grins like he’s happy again.
“Yeah, he was. You all right, muscles?” I ask.
He bellows as he flexes his barely-there biceps, making Tomi and I laugh.
Levi nods as Tomi digs around in his backpack, pulls out some sunglasses, and places them on his face.
I give him two thumbs up. “Cool, dude.”
He nods his head a little too enthusiastically, but it makes us all chuckle.
“Time to head home,” Tomi suggests, and Levi nods in agreement as we stand. Tomi and I are on either side of Levi as we link arms to walk out of the zoo and head home.
Now we’ve gotten over this hurdle, we somehow have to get Tomi over the next one—letting go of Hope & Faith Ink.
This is not going to be easy.