21. Beckham
Chapter twenty-one
Beckham
S tanding over the sink, I watched my call to Rosenna go straight to voicemail. We had a session scheduled earlier this afternoon, and she refused to show up for it. I tried getting in contact with Kira; however, she refused to “continue rooting for our love affair” until I finished up my floor plans.
As my hair dripped wet over my face and chest, I glanced at the phone again before stepping out of the bathroom.
Twenty calls, all to voicemail.
Dressed in only a pair of black joggers, I walked into my art space and stared at the paintings of her I’d created so far. I still needed to understand her . I wanted to know why I was so fixated on this married woman who oftentimes wanted nothing to do with me. I only had two finished paintings of her so far but it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
Staring at the beginning of my clay sculpture, I groaned internally. Painting her was one thing, but molding a statue based on the memory of her alone… was entirely different.
I glanced at the untouched setup across the room—still exactly how I left it.
I most likely didn’t need her to model or pose for paintings any longer. I had committed her body to memory, could paint her in my sleep if I wanted to. I’d memorized every curve, every part—but this was something we did together… something that was exclusively meant for us.
Fucking was exclusively meant for us, too. From the looks of things, I was sure she hadn’t been intimate with her shitty husband, but I couldn’t be too sure.
No… she wouldn’t be intimate with him. She wouldn’t ruin what we had. I knew my flower better than that.
She’s playing hard to get, that’s all. She just wants me to give her the attention she doesn’t get from her husband.
My little flower… if you want my attention, all you have to do is ask.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced at it to see a message from the last person I wanted to think about: Gavin.
Tossing my phone back onto my desk without even reading his message, I approached the clay sculpture. My vision for the piece consisted of Rosenna fully nude as she innocently crossed her arms over her chest and one leg crossed the other.
With her head tilted to the side, I wanted it to exude a sense of innocence… one that reflected how the world perceived her. They didn’t know her the way I did: innocent and beautiful on the outside, but on the inside… I had the pleasure of learning her dark and desirous thoughts and secrets.
Running my finger down the back of the sculpture where her spine arched naturally, my eyes darkened. Those same secrets were what fueled me, what made me want to understand the assertive woman who was looking for someone to fulfill her needs. To be there for her. To allow her to finally be recognized, heard… seen .
Looking at the perfectly replicated tattoo on her back, I ran my thumb over hardening clay.
You are loved.
It pains me to know my flower is suffering. But I see you, Flower. I see all of you… and I’ll be sure to give you exactly what you’re looking for.
Rosenna
Sitting at my desk, I silenced my phone as I received another call from Beckham. Unfortunately, he’d scheduled our next session today, but it wouldn’t have been wise to see him.
Tensions were still high. Especially as he was still furious that I pushed him away after we’d had sex and I was still busy stressing over the fact that I cheated on Gavin with him. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was still jealous of Jessica .
Whether or not Beckham’s smile and laugh with her was fabricated to make me feel envious while I was with Gavin, I was still jealous. I was exposed to his true side… his dark, conniving, seductive, desirable side… and as bad as it sounded, I envied her.
She was able to experience a side to him that was more lighthearted and not so focused on his obsession with me or the possessiveness that drove his actions and impulses.
I didn’t want this to get out of hand. It couldn ’ t. I needed to be the one to put the distance between us. I couldn’t allow this to ruin my marriage. I shouldn’t be jealous. I shouldn’t let Beckham and his issues with proximity, boundaries, and emotions cloud my mind.
But it was almost impossible.
All I found myself thinking about last night was him. All I found myself thinking about in the shower this morning was him. All I found myself thinking about now as I tried to finish my work for today while ignoring his calls and texts was nothing—but— him .
He’s all I can think about, and it’s both tormenting and thrilling me all at once.
I need to get control. I need to get control.
This was all getting out of hand and I needed to stop.
Kira walked into the room unexpectedly, and I glanced over at her silently as she looked over her iPad. My only other savior from the torment was her. Interestingly enough, she was all for my purge from Beckham’s advances this time. She had no issue with me ignoring his texts and blocking his calls. If anything, this obsession caused her to have her own personal vendetta against him.
She was growing angry with him as he wasn’t communicating with Vincent’s managers and associates. In the midst of our affair, she was the godsend I loved to death as she remembered we had an actual business to run.
I knew Beckham had been stalling… Being so preoccupied with our time together, I knew he wanted to prolong our arrangement for as long as he could, and ignoring Kira and his father’s employees was just one way he was able to. However, this was a blessing in disguise as this also gave me another reason to ignore him as well.
Kira handed me the iPad. “Beckham submitted the floor plans, mockups, and themes for the exhibit.”
I sighed internally. Though I should’ve been happy, I knew this was simply to get my attention somehow.
Looking over the plan, I noticed he had a few rooms he wanted to dedicate specifically to his abstract art, some of his timeless and historical-looking art, and his sculptures as well. For a few of the mockups of the art he would be presenting, I gazed at the prices. He’d set them relatively high, but with the quality of his work, I knew it was absolutely worth it.
As I continued looking, my eyebrows furrowed. One of the rooms on the outline wasn’t viewable. I attempted to enter to view his floor plan, however, the only word that showed on the empty model of our showroom was the word PRICELESS . Looking over at Kira, I pointed to it curiously, and she sighed.
“His father’s assistants asked him the same thing, and Mr. Picasso deemed it necessary for this room to remain a secret. He will be the only one to set it up and wants it to be revealed on the day of the show.”
“Well, that’s not suspicious at all now, is it?” I muttered, and she shrugged.
“You know how artists can get with their work. If he has a vision for something, maybe only he can be the one to put it together.”
I nodded wordlessly, handing the iPad back.
“You know…” Kira began, “now that he’s done his work, I don’t mind if you answer his calls… just to see what he has to say.”
“Go back to work, Kira.”
She walked out of the room with a prominent pout as I shook my head.
Turning back to my computer, I finished up the work for the afternoon. Surprisingly, I didn’t receive any more calls or texts from my personal incubus. However… I did receive a message from someone that made my mood sour immediately.
Father
Rosenna. How are you? Your mother and I wanted to discuss some things with you. We should meet for dinner soon.
Glaring at the phone, I slammed it back onto the desk and grabbed my belongings. The fucking audacity of that man.
To say Gavin’s parents were horrible was an understatement compared to my own.
Eric and Elise Hart.
I absolutely hated my father for his attempts to control my life and his insufferable view of women. While I loved my mother, he made me slowly begin to hate her as well. Reason being the fact that she was a fucking pushover.
I could only imagine why Gavin’s parents loved her and my father so much. They were the epitome of a couple from the 1950s: a working husband with a silent and obedient housewife. Being their only child after my mother was unable to conceive any more children, my father made it clear he wanted a son from the beginning. And because I wasn’t what he wanted, I was never good enough. I only seemed to appease him when I went to college for business and married Gavin. But he knew by then I wanted nothing to do with him…
Grabbing my bags, I walked over to Kira’s office and bid her goodbye before leaving for the afternoon. When I arrived home, I noticed Gavin’s car wasn’t in sight, letting me know he would remain at work for a little longer. In the past, I would wait for him, but I increasingly began to enjoy my solitude. It was my time to unwind, relax, and put myself first.
It was thanks to Kira that I was slowly beginning to value my self-care, though she made an argument that I was pampering myself more these days for… a certain someone who shall remain nameless at the moment.
Nonetheless, I made my way inside, easily ridding my thoughts of Gavin and my parents—but unfortunately, the beautifully flawed man obsessed with me still plagued my mind.