Chapter 36
36
We quickly cross the river and rush back to the hotel. Hypatia is still very weak, and Rafe carries her most of the way. As soon as we’re back in our room—the receptionist must have woken and left, as she is nowhere to be seen—Rafe lays Hypatia on the bed and begins rolling up his sleeve.
“What are you doing?” she protests.
“You need blood now.” He extends his hand to her, but she feebly pushes it away with a shocked expression.
“Not from you. Find someone else.”
“You need to eat now, and Sire blood will help you heal more quickly.”
“Mother said never from a Sire.” But her voice is small and frail. Rafe ignores her and presses his inner forearm against her mouth. She hesitates for a moment, then grabs his arm and bites down.
I turn away to give them privacy, but not before I see small fangs puncture Rafe’s skin.
I expect to spiral into a total freakout over the fact that my dear friend is apparently even more of a vampire than her cousin, but it seems that I’ve reached my mental limit on shock for the day. My brain has thrown up her hands and is willing to accept anything right now.
I sit on the other bed, pretending to busy myself with my phone until Rafe comes to sit next to me.
He says softly, “She’s sleeping, and she needs to rest. We’ll stay the night, and my brother will collect us in the morning. I’ve already been in touch with him. What you said about your grandfather not being the sick one means we don’t have to go there first, correct?”
I nod. I’d explained the basics on the boat ride back.
“Are you… okay?” he asks.
“No.” Better to keep my mind busy with practicalities, so I change the subject. “Who could have given them the knowledge to create a false Sire?” I’d filled Rafe in on Kor’s illness and his surgery, and I’m more curious than ever who Prometheus might be.
“I honestly have no idea who would do such a thing. But we’ll need to find a way to neutralize the knowledge. Sire abilities are too dangerous in provincial hands.”
Neutralize the knowledge. That can’t mean anything good for my family. Despite everything I witnessed tonight, I don’t want any harm coming to them.
“I don’t understand,” I say to Rafe. “Maker inventions are one thing, but why can’t we teach provincial Sires how to wield Ha’i? They haven’t all been recruited. There are many untrained Sires out there who have no idea what they are or what they could be doing for society. There’s no one forbidding it any longer, so why can’t the knowledge of Sires be reintroduced so the rest of the world can have some advantage?”
“Are you kidding me? Look at what your family did as soon as they learned about Sires. Abducting them and draining their blood—you think that’s the first time something like this has happened? This is what that provincial world does, Ada. Wake up. They can’t accept people being different, and they steal any power there for the taking. They weaponize anything that can be weaponized.”
There’s nothing I can say to this. I look down at my hands, rubbing my scars. My best friend, one of the most benevolent people I have ever known, has done unspeakable things for this power. What if it were in the hands of even less scrupulous people?
I had been so sure that there was someone else involved in all of this, but if the Families abducted me and they now have another informant at Genesis, it’s possible that everything has been them all along. I’m not sure I can stomach that.
“What do you know about Nora Montaigne?” I ask Rafe, still unconvinced that she’s not somehow involved.
“The traitor Leonora de Montaigne? She’s Leonardo’s older sister, a Blood Sci and Cipher master and cousin to the Crown. I despise that family.”
“Is it possible Bram and Leo have been working for her and could be behind some of the information leaks and the thefts?”
“What? No. Leonora would never do anything like that.”
“But you said she’s a traitor?”
“She’s a traitor for choosing to forsake her heritage and live among the philistines. But she’s in constant touch with the Guard and only shares knowledge that they approve for her to share.”
That… is not what I expected. And I find it surprisingly uplifting. “That’s amazing, that there are actually Makers making an effort to help the rest of the world.”
Rafe scoffs. “Her intentions are not so noble, I assure you. She’s driven purely by self-interest and the desire for wealth. Which makes her a perfect fit for the people she’s chosen over her own.”
I stand, ready to stalk away in annoyance. I’ve had quite enough of Rafe’s bigotry.
He reaches up and pulls me back down next to him. “I’m sorry,” he says. It doesn’t sound like something he is used to saying. He lightly tilts my chin so I’m looking at him. “I shouldn’t have said that about the people you grew up with.”
I scoot farther away from him, shaking off his hand. “I don’t need your apologies. We’ve done what we came to do. Now we can move on.” It’s true. I don’t care. I feel so empty inside. An emptiness that began when I found Rafe covered in blood earlier, and it has only grown bigger with everything else I have seen. Kor’s betrayal hurts worse than anything Rafe has done.
“I want to apologize,” Rafe insists. His gaze is vulnerable instead of the frozen indifference I’m used to. “I don’t want you to be angry with me.” He swallows. “I don’t know why that matters.” He looks genuinely confused.
I don’t respond.
Rafe clears his throat. “So, you understand now that Hypatia’s different—why I had to prioritize her rescue above all else?”
I nod and look up at him. I wasn’t sure he’d be willing to explain. “What exactly…?” I point to my teeth.
“Her Vanguard genetics are more concentrated. She doesn’t use blood for doping; she needs it to survive. Genesis doesn’t allow blood consumption, but they’ve allowed her to take transfusions. It’s enough for her to function well, but the effects wear off more quickly, leaving her weak.” He looks over at her, watching her sleep with adoration. “Hypatia is an extremely rare case, having strong Vanguard genetics and also being a Sire. When her abilities fully develop, she may be one of the most intrinsically powerful humans in Maker society. But the Inquisitors can’t know that her unique Vanguard genetics have survived. Most Makers don’t even know.”
The Inquisitors can’t know, yet he’s telling me, so he must truly believe I won’t tell them anything.
I don’t even yet know what I will or won’t tell them.
Hypatia looks so serene sleeping. It’s hard to imagine that she’s as powerful as he says. Rafe gazes at her with such love…. Then he looks up at me with that same gaze, which for the first time seems to be inviting me in instead of shutting me out.
“Ada.” He grasps my hand. Warmth flows into my fingers as his eyes claim mine, so matter-of-factly that I can’t possibly look away. “I can never thank you enough. You’ve saved my cousin….” He pauses, processing his emotion. “I could never have helped her without you.” The gentleness in his voice makes his accent more pronounced. His intensity has my heart beating fast. “I know your reasons for being at Genesis are complex, but if you tell me that you’re not planning to endanger my people, I trust you. And I swear to you, on my mother’s Ha’i, that I won’t tell anyone.”
He’s sitting so close to me, in all his fierce and perfect beauty. But I know better now.
I respond flatly, “You’ll keep quiet so I don’t tell anyone about your family’s big secret?”
“No, that’s not—” He presses his lips together in frustration, then tries again. “I trust you without any threat. And I want you to know you can trust me, too.”
“Rafe, let’s just get Hypatia home, and then we can go our separate ways.” I try to pull my hand away, but he squeezes tighter, the thrum of our unique chemistry pulsing beneath our skin.
“Ada…” His voice is raspy, the heat from his grip on my hand spreading slowly to other parts of my body. “Do our ways have to be so separate?” His question is loaded with something that I’m not ready to think about.
Though my mind is made up, my voice betrays me with the sound of hesitation as I answer, “I think that’s for the best.”
“Ada,” he whispers again. He lifts my hand and gently brushes his lips against my palm. It’s the gentlest of kisses. A gentleness that, once again, is so unfamiliar from him. “I like that you care. Even though I disagree with the lies you’ve been told, I like that you try to be good .”
The electricity that always seems to be buzzing between us comes to life, as if my Ha’i is sparking through my skin, begging to be closer to his. I swallow a gasp.
Rafe says, “This kind of connection between two Sires who have Ha’i that is uniquely compatible… It’s so rare. I’ve only ever heard about it in legends. Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss… whatever this is.”
He trails more kisses down my hand and along my wrist in a way that makes my pulse thrum erratically in my veins. I feel something awakening inside me, something I’m not interested in dealing with right now. Especially when the placement of his kisses reminds me of another wrist at his mouth, a wrist that was not mine, painted ruby red.
Jerking my hand away from him and taking a deep breath to calm my body, I stand up. “I can never forgive you for violating that girl.”
“I didn’t violate her.”
“You drugged her and used her body without consent.” I know what it’s like to find out I’ve had my blood stolen. To be lied to and used as a pawn.
“She is completely unharmed and will never know or care.”
I shake my head. “And that’s just it—you’re not even sorry.”
He closes his eyes and exhales deeply but doesn’t respond.
I go to the bathroom to wash up and change into pajamas. When I come out, I look to where Hypatia’s sleeping soundly in the center of one bed. Rafe is stretched out in an undershirt and silk pajama pants on one side of the second bed, watching me, his eyes holding a challenge. I silently walk to the other side of the bed, tuck myself in, and stare at the ceiling.
“I’m not the villain here,” Rafe says softly from next to me.
“Well, you’re definitely not the good guy.”
“Neither are you.” The mattress moves beneath me as he shifts his body to face mine. I turn my face toward him and find him much closer than I realized. He adds in a velvet whisper, “And maybe that’s why we work so well together.”
The spicy scent of his nearness invades my senses. I swallow tightly. “There’s no ‘we.’ You and I don’t work together anymore.”
He blinks. And it’s like a curtain comes down. All vulnerability replaced with the familiar chill, all traces of emotion gone. “If that’s the way you want it,” he says with a sneer. His voice is hard and mean.
I turn my back on him and try to sleep.
I don’t sleep well. But staying up all night with a racing mind has its benefits. I’ve sorted things out, and I know what my next step has to be.
Rafe is back to his normal self, no trace of the vulnerable boy from last night. Hypatia takes the whole I-was-a-spy-all-along thing in stride, and she seems to be feeling much better.
She’s entranced by the television, and she regales me with awed descriptions of various cartoons and the wonders of the Weather Channel. I try not to let my eyes linger on the scar that circles her delicate neck. Or the small fangs that she’s now not bothering to hide from me when she smiles wide.
“Have you seen this one before, Ada?” she asks me excitedly about some high school drama. “It appears to be some kind of dystopia where everyone is cosmetically modified, and they need to fight to the death to be crowned queen of the kingdom of Homecoming.”
Lovely to know that the unrealistic beauty standards of our society look like dystopian modifications to an outsider. It is kind of weird to see the airbrushed version of reality presented on TV after being away from all that messaging for so long. I don’t think I’ve bemoaned having pores in months. Yesterday I ate a second slice of pizza with zero guilt.
It’s hard to tear Hypatia away when it’s time to go. “We are wrong about provincials,” she says as she solemnly hands me the remote. “Television is an amazing invention.”
As the three of us make our way down the elevator, I ask Rafe, “Are you worried?”
“No. It’s my brother, not my father.”
Prince Alex is in the lobby, attracting a lot of attention with his long hair and large physique. He looks handsome and intimidating but very unprincely in a lot of leather and denim. My heart skips a beat when I realize that Michael is with him. He looks worried and exhausted and adorably mussed.
Sweet, non-blood-drinking, non-life-threatening Michael. Well, perhaps life-threatening; when he looks up and our eyes lock, the pace of my heart certainly feels heart attack–inducing. As he takes me in, I watch the anxiety drain out of him. I want to run to him. Hug him. Tell him everything that’s happened. But neither of us moves.
Alex rushes over and clutches Hypatia to him. “Thank the Conductor,” he breathes. Then he quickly turns on Rafe. “What were you thinking? I told you I had it in hand! Do you not trust Chorus? There is a very delicate balance—”
“I’m sure Chorus told you we’d all come back safe and alive. And see, we have, thanks to me. And Ada.”
Alex’s furious eyes turn on me.
“Oh, don’t blame her for anything,” Rafe drawls. “You know it was all my idea. I needed help from someone who didn’t know better.” Then his smile turns devilish as he continues. “And I wasn’t about to spend a night in a fancy hotel all alone.”
I’m dying to roll my eyes.
Alex skeptically eyes Rafe’s jacket, which I’m wearing again.
Whatever. I was cold
“Are you okay?” Michael asks me, approaching cautiously. “I didn’t know where you were—if you went voluntarily or were taken or—”
I lay my hand on his arm. “I’m fine. I’m sorry for worrying you.” I hate that I’m about to lie to him again, but there’s no way I can tell the truth. “I was just so worried about Hypatia, and when Rafe suggested it, I got excited to see New York again. I didn’t realize it would be a big deal.” Look, if Rafe’s willing to take the fall for me, I’ll let him. He definitely deserves it.
Prince Alexander eyes me skeptically as I speak. But Rafe corroborates my story, and in their minds, he has no reason to lie.
“Okay, let’s go,” Prince Alex says. “We’ll escort you back to Genesis.”
They all begin to move toward the exit, but I stay put.
“I… I’m not going to go back with you,” I say.
Now that I know what my family’s been up to, it’s clear to me that Genesis is not where I need to be. I need to be at home, convincing Kor and the others that there’s a better way to accomplish our goal. Mom may think I’ll be safer at Genesis, but I’m done being anyone’s pawn, and since all of this began, that’s all I’ve been. It’s time to start doing what I think is right.
“Being here reminds me of how much I miss my home, my family.” It kills something inside me to say it, to pretend that anything about this world speaks to me more than Genesis. Rafe and Michael look completely dumbstruck, but Prince Alex doesn’t look particularly surprised. “I just came this morning to say goodbye.”
Rafe glares at me, then storms out of the hotel without a word.
Hypatia gives me a long hug and insists I send her pigeons, and then she and Alex follow after Rafe.
Michael hangs back. “Are you sure this is what you want?” His warm brown eyes search mine.
“I’ve given it a lot of thought. I’m sure. I’ll be in touch with Georgie to arrange getting the rest of my stuff.” I look down at my hands, something inside me fracturing.
He steps closer. “You can change your mind.”
“I won’t.”
I hadn’t expected to say anything more, but it’s Michael, and I’m upset and need to hear his reassurance.
I look up and say, “I… learned about blood doping.”
His expression turns stormy. “It sickens me,” Michael says, “that anyone could indiscriminately steal blood. Especially when our people have been libeled over false blood theft.”
Our people. He’s not talking about the Makers. He’s identifying with me as something other than a Maker. As a fellow Jew. I’ve heard of the blood libels. Lies about Jewish people stealing children’s blood told to rationalize generations of atrocities committed against us.
“Both sides of my family have experienced hatred for being Jewish at different times in different countries,” Michael says. “Joining the Makers was a haven for them from hate and religious discrimination. The idea that the antisemitic tales of vampires could have been given any credence by the actions of Makers turns my stomach. I can’t believe the practice is still allowed at Avant. But if that’s why you’re leaving—”
“It’s not. I just needed to know how you felt about it.”
“Ada… please…” He grabs my hand, and there’s a desperation to his voice that I can’t afford to interpret. There’s too much at stake for me to be swayed by feelings that once I acknowledge, I won’t be able to ignore.
I refuse to look up; there’s a lump in my throat. “Goodbye, Michael. Thank you for everything.”
I pull my hand free and leave the hotel without looking back.
As I make my way through the streets, I let the sounds and smells of the city whip past me. Tears are torn from my eyes by the wind as I give myself the journey home to mourn my choice. But once I get there, there can be no more doubt. No more tears.
I gave the Families a lot of sensitive information. And now Genesis is at risk. Because of me.
I have to fix it.