Chapter 2 #3
‘God, your fridge is enormous, it would fill the bathroom in my flat! How much does it cost to even fill a space that big? What would Gran say if she could see this place? Apart from finding fault, of course. She wouldn’t believe it, would she?’
‘Tig, are you going to comment on every aspect of my life? My hallway, my kid, my fridge? Because I don’t know if I can handle that right now.’ She hid her face inside the door and let her head hang forward.
Tiggy jumped down from the stool and again took her sister in her arms. Nina laid one arm half-heartedly across her sister’s back. It was at the same time awkward and familiar.
‘I’m sorry. I guess I just don’t know what to say. And I’m nervous being in this massive house on this day. And a bit nervous about being around you, if I’m being honest.’
This was a rare admission. Another time, on a different day, and her comment would have invited a response, but Nina didn’t have the energy. Not today.
‘Then say nothing. Okay?’ Nina said.
‘Okay.’ Her sister sighed.
Nina only felt semi-present during the rest of the wake, smiling and nodding in all the right places, reluctantly accepting hugs, and doing her best to graciously acknowledge the offers of help and support.
It felt like an age until the last guests left.
Nina did her best to hide her slight irritation at Finn’s sisters-in-law, Marjorie and Netta, who stumbled towards their waiting minibus, arms linked, whilst wailing their distress for all to hear.
His brothers Michael and Anthony were already sitting with heads lolling, sprawled on the back seats.
The relationship between Finn and his brothers was somewhat fractious.
Things had deteriorated when their father, Hampy, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
It had riled Finn that both his big brothers had quickly and readily agreed that the old man move in with him and Nina; after all, they had the space and the cash .
. . She understood this, but Finn was angered on his dad’s behalf that they didn’t put up at least the show of wanting to help more.
He thought his dad deserved better, and in this she felt he was right.
She thought about the first time she had been introduced to Hampy, as a shy eighteen-year-old.
He had been running the office for Finn at the time and had raised his palms the moment she walked in the door.
‘Keep your distance, it’s always difficult for Finn when he has to introduce a young lady to his better-looking, funnier dad. ’
‘I see. And have you been introduced to many?’ she’d asked quietly, with her hands folded together and her eyes fixed on the man who would become her father-in-law.
‘None like you,’ Hampy had replied without any prompting, his expression one of kindness. Finn had simply stared at her with a look that told her this was the truth.
The memory comforted her, and today she expected better than the wine- and whisky-quaffing antics that had led to this display from Finn’s family. It bothered her that the kids might overhear the caterwauling of their aunts.
‘What needs doing next? Give me a job,’ her sister instructed as she made her way in from the hallway, wiping her hands on her trousers.
Nina looked up, having quite forgotten that Tiggy was still around.
‘Thought I might hang around for a bit, help out, look after the kids, cook or something . . . I don’t know.’ Tiggy coughed, letting her arms rise and fall to her sides, her kindness tinged with shyness as they peered through the invisible walls that sat between them.
‘That’s so kind.’ Nina meant it. ‘Have you got time off work? Are you at the same place?’ The last time she knew, Tiggy worked in a local pub, The Bear, pulling pints and serving food, living above it in a small flat.
‘Yes, Dean, the owner, is good like that.’
Nina knew so little about her sister’s life, she didn’t know what to ask.
Their estrangement had been gradual, a subtle slowing of contact over the years, until it had become sporadic and was now almost non-existent.
It was hard for her to recall exactly how it had started, but certainly the cracks in their kinship were cleaved open when Nina left Southampton and moved in with Finn; they seemed to lose all they had in common when no longer bound by a common environment.
‘The dishwasher is on, I’ve collected stray glasses from the tables in the lounge and swept the terrace,’ Tiggy continued.
‘Thank you for that. And thank you for all your help today.’
‘No worries, I’ve cling-wrapped all the leftover food and put it in the fridge.’
Nina shook her head. ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have bothered, Tig. I’ll probably just throw it all away.’
‘That’s such a waste. So much of it hasn’t been touched.’
Nina stared at her. So long as everyone had had enough to eat, what did it really matter?
‘Do you want me to stay here tonight? I’m happy to.’ Tiggy folded a dishcloth and hovered.
‘No, Tig, but thank you for offering. I don’t want to keep you.’
Tiggy sniffed and reached for her cigarettes that nestled in the pocket of her jacket. ‘Good God, Nina, yes! Whatever happens, please don’t keep me from my life!’ She chuckled, and shook her head. She made her way out to the terrace.
Nina was tipping the dregs of wine bottles down the sink and rinsing them under the tap, ready for the recycling collection, when Tiggy came back inside.
‘I’ll get my bag and shoot off then.’
‘Okay.’
Tiggy leaned on the island and stared.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ She didn’t like the way she was being scrutinised.
‘Because you’ve changed, Nina.’
‘What do you mean, I’ve changed? Of course I have, my husband has just died!’
Tiggy shook her head. ‘No, before that . . .’
‘What are you talking about, Tiggy?’ She shook her head in exasperation.
‘Today is not the day to talk about it. Next time, maybe.’ She gave a tight smile. ‘I should get going. You know where I am if you need anything. I am here for you. I want to be the first person you call, always.’
Nina nodded at her sister, too sad and tired to properly consider her comment.
Tiggy left as she had arrived: abruptly and without any great fanfare.