Chapter 9 #3
‘Well that’s good because sometimes I feel like I’m falling through the cracks,’ Nina admitted.
‘I just want a job. I can’t think of much else.
And I know that once I have one, it’ll be like having a safety net beneath us that means I can let go of the ledge.
’ She hooked her fingers and raised her hands, demonstrating the metaphorical cliff face on to which she clung.
‘I’ve fired another thirty applications off this week, and I haven’t had a single reply – not one.
Declan is getting fed up at how I keep hogging his laptop.
He stands over me, asking if I’ve nearly finished.
And after the debacle at Celandine Court I’ve lost my confidence to go and knock on doors. ’ She rubbed her face with her palms.
‘Something will turn up, you’ll see.’
‘I wish I shared your optimism.’ Nina sighed.
‘I am so worried about money, especially with the boys about to start their new school. I can hardly think about it. I dread them coming home and saying we need this and that.’ She shook her head, thinking of the piles of clothes, stationery, new bags, all of the things that came along with the start of each new term in their old life.
The indulgence now made her feel sick. ‘I can only cope if I don’t think too far ahead.
I literally live one hour at a time. And each one that ticks by without disaster feels like a small win. ’ She closed her eyes briefly.
‘The boys are going to be fine,’ Tiggy said.
‘I hope so.’
‘Come on, we’ve still got work to do.’
Nina carefully unwrapped family photos of Finn and the boys in Chinatown in New York, and another of them in Italy, eating spaghetti alle vongole al fresco, white china on a red-and-white-checked tablecloth, the masts of the boats in the little fishing harbour in the background.
‘Happy days.’ Tiggy nodded at the pictures.
‘Yes. God, I loved it when they were little. I mean, I love them now, of course, but when they were cuddly and sweet, it was bliss.’
‘I bet.’ Tiggy blew onto the drill tip to clear the dust.
‘Did you ever think about having kids? I think you’d be a great mum.’
‘I did.’ Tiggy paused, blushing a little at the compliment. ‘But I think that ship has sailed.’
‘Not necessarily,’ she pushed.
‘Maybe, but without the right man in my life, and living over the pub, it’s hardly ideal.’
‘You could always get a different job?’ she suggested.
They smiled wryly at the fact that it was her job Nina focused on and not the lack of man.
‘I like working there. I’m happy enough. I think I’m stuck in my routine, and it’s not so bad that I want to change anything.’ Tiggy looked up. ‘It’s a job. You know, not great, but not terrible. And the longer I work there, the less I can imagine working anywhere else, if that makes sense.’
Nina thought of how, when she got a job, she’d keep working to get them out of Portswood and on to something better, somewhere better, as soon as she was able. ‘It does, but I hate to think you might have dreams on hold. Don’t you ever want more?’
Tiggy stared at her, and there was a beat of consideration before she answered. ‘All the time, Nina. All the time.’
Nina nodded at her sister, understanding, possibly for the first time in years, that Tiggy had been trapped by circumstance. ‘I could come and see you at work – is that allowed?’
‘Yes! It’s allowed!’
The way Tiggy beamed her response spoke volumes, and Nina felt a new spike of guilt for not taking more of an interest in her sister’s life. ‘That’s what I’ll do then.’
‘This looks really nice. You’ve got the knack,’ Tiggy said.
‘It does look much, much better,’ Nina conceded as her sister finished putting up the venetian blind.
She let it drop to the floor, but angled the slats to allow the light to filter in.
‘Thank you, Tig, that looks fantastic! Privacy at last, without those horrible net curtains. I would love to paint it. The whole place.’ She ran her hand over the oatmeal-coloured walls.
‘I might ask Cousin Fred if he’d mind. Not now, of course, but when I am more on my feet. ’
‘He’d probably be glad you were updating it.’
‘Yes, probably. I mean, I don’t want to do anything grand – I don’t exactly have the funds – and all in good time.
But just a coat of paint. And I would love to get rid of this kitchen wall.
It’s only flimsy. Reckon I could push it down, it wouldn’t take much, and that would make the place feel more spacious, instead of two quite poky rooms.’ Nina knocked on the wall, listening to the echoey sound; being married to the owner of McCarrick Construction, she had picked up a few tips.
‘It’s definitely hollow and not supporting anything, and the stove and sink are along the back wall. It should be easy.’
Tiggy strode forward, before placing the long drill bit on the flimsy surface and drilling a hole straight through the two sheets of plasterboard and coming out the other side.
‘What you are doing?’ Nina yelled, with her hands in her hair, as if horrified, but her tone gave a different message: one of excitement.
‘Chain drilling,’ Tiggy replied as she inserted the drill bit again and again.
‘Can I have a go?’ Nina wiped her hands on her jeans.
‘Sure.’ Tiggy handed her the drill and watched as Nina copied her actions, continuing to drill until she had finished the square pattern of holes through which the light passed through. ‘Very good!’ Tiggy gave a nod of approval.
Declan and Connor, arriving home, ran in to see the source of the noise.
‘What’s going on?’ Declan asked excitedly as Connor stared at his mother wielding the power tool.
‘I’m drilling!’ Nina flashed a smile in their direction and pulled the trigger for effect.
‘We are knocking down the wall!’ Tiggy laughed.
‘We are?’ Nina threw her head back and laughed loudly. ‘Holy shit, we are knocking down the wall! I think Fred would prefer it was done professionally?’
‘Awesome!’ Declan rubbed his hands together, joining his aunt and ignoring his mother’s concerns.
‘Nina, I have done this a million times before. I am practically a professional.’ She rolled her eyes indignantly.
‘Won’t the ceiling fall down or something?’ Connor asked with mild concern, arms folded.
‘I have no idea, but that’s the fun part, right?
Waiting to find out!’ Tiggy wrapped a dishcloth around her fist and punched where they had drilled.
The two squares of dust-covered dry wall toppled to the floor, leaving her fist pushed through to the other side.
Declan stood on the other side and shook her hand through the gap ‘How do you do?’ He chuckled.
‘Hang on!’ Connor came back with his phone and snapped a picture of his brother shaking hands with the disembodied fingers poking through.
‘Right, Con, Dec, come in here,’ Tiggy ordered. ‘We are going to barge the wall down!’
‘Oh God, Tiggy, are you sure that’s a good idea?’ Nina swallowed.
‘No, but there is only one way to find out if this is going to work. Come on, boys!’
They came over eagerly. ‘Okay, on the count of three we barge it with our shoulders as hard as we can, and see if it shifts.’
‘Tiggy, I’m not sure if this is a good . . .’
Her sister’s counting cut her short: ‘One! Two! Three!’
The boys both yelled as they barged into the wall with all their might. They punched against the surface and bounced back. Declan clutched his shoulder.
‘Look! It’s moved at the top. I can see where it shifted,’ Connor said excitedly.
Nina screamed, then laughed. ‘Oh my God! The wall is going to fall down!’ she yelled with a mixture of fear and excitement.
‘I think you’ll find that’s the whole point,’ Tiggy said as she high-fived her chuckling nephews. ‘Right, we need you, Nina. More shoulder power is required. Come on, get over here!’
‘I’m not sure . . .’
‘Come on, Mum!’ Declan grabbed her and pulled her over.
Spurred on by her boys’ energy and caught up in the moment, Nina stood in line and braced her shoulders like the others. ‘Okay, and again!’ Tiggy shouted. ‘One! Two! Three!’
The four of them charged the wall, which seemed to slip a little further from its creaky wooden anchors with ease.
Tiggy surveyed the wall; Connor did the same on the other side.
‘I reckon one more go,’ he said, a glint of excitement in his eyes.
Nina wanted to cry with happiness, but this was not the time for tears, happy or otherwise; instead, she got behind the project with gusto.
‘All right then, one more go. Come on, folks!’
They resumed their positions. ‘One! Two! Three!’ They ran forward, letting out loud yells as their bodies met with the surface.
There was a cracking sound and a thick plume of dust filled the room, whooshing up their noses and into their mouths. Nina prayed there were no injuries and tried to figure out exactly what had happened.
‘We did it!’ Declan yelled, jumping up and down on the spot.
They looked as if they had walked through flour, with the fine dust and grime of over sixty years clinging to their hair and eyelashes.
Each coughed and spat the grit that crunched between their teeth, and they all laughed at the sight of how ridiculous they looked.
‘That was absolutely brilliant!’ Declan raced around, climbing over the shattered chunks of plasterboard that now lay in a shallow heap on the sitting-room floor.
‘It’s huge!’ Nina turned in a circle with her arms spread wide and took in the big open space that they had created.
There was the unmistakable sound of banging on the ceiling from the flat above. ‘What the bloody hell is going on down there?’ a voice yelled from above.
‘That’s Mr Broom Handle,’ Tiggy whispered, giggling. She stood on her tiptoes and, with a piece of wood in her hand, knocked back. It made Nina cringe and laugh at the same time.
‘Shall we do another wall?’ Connor asked, half-jokingly.
‘No!’ she and Tiggy yelled in unison.
‘Spoilsports.’ He walked forward and opened the French doors, watching as a cloud of dust escaped and rose up to float high above Portswood Road. ‘What’s going on in there?’ Toothless Vera called from the pavement, on her way to the launderette.
‘We’ve just knocked down a wall, Vera!’ Nina called out with a wave. ‘But don’t worry. We as good as have the owner’s permission – he’s our cousin! And my sister is practically a professional.’
‘I am?’ Tiggy looked at her sister with her eyebrows raised.
‘You said you were!’ she gasped, blinking powder from her eyes. ‘You said you’d done it loads of times!’
‘God, you believe anything!’ Tiggy laughed and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. ‘Want one?’ she held the pack out towards her sister.
‘No, I do not. I can’t believe I just let you talk me into that!’ She chuckled, watching as her sister lit up, blowing the acrid smoke out the door. ‘I love you, Tiggy,’ she said.
Her sister turned to face her. ‘Well you can cut that out for a start.’ She tutted and took a deep drag on her cigarette.