Chapter 13 #2
A vast addition to the left side of the main building faced the wooded area where she and her friends used to hide and smoke.
She smiled at the thought. The modern wing looked futuristic, like a contemporary gallery or library.
She peered in at the walls as she walked past, where students’ artistic canvases were displayed.
Clever tropical plantings made use of the heat and light, and created green spaces around informal seating. It was quite something.
She made her way round to the back of the building and would barely have recognised the playing fields.
There were now two pitches, both well cared for and lying at the back of the plot of land.
Rugby posts stood tall on the left-hand pitch and there was a set of low stands along one side.
Another new low-rise building sat to the right, a clubhouse perhaps.
Nina could see the boys, all wearing the Cottrell’s rugby kit of red-and-black-hooped shirts with black shorts.
The opposing team were in gold and green.
Gingerly she made her way to the edge of the pitch and tried to ignore the fluttery nerves in her stomach and the desire to look back over her shoulder to see if Finn had arrived.
As the parent spectators yelled support and whooped and clapped, she shoved her hands into her jeans pockets and drew up her shoulders, feeling as out of place now as she always had.
She fought the desire to turn and leave, lest someone might try to engage her in conversation and her fear might come to fruition: that she had absolutely nothing of interest to say.
She had thought that the reason she felt so shy at Kings Norton was because she was out of her league, but as she looked at the women and men all around her, who lived in her postcode, whose kids went to Cottrell’s School with hers, she realised her insecurity was something deeper than a concern over her lack of pedigree.
I never thought I was good enough, Finn. I let you shape me and I did lose a bit of myself, my confidence, my sparkle. I was so nervous of portraying the wrong thing, I became a cardboard-cutout wife, safe, vanilla, two-dimensional . . . It was a hard thing to process.
She squinted and saw Connor in the thick of it, grappling with a bigger boy on the opposing team for the ball.
She winced as another lad came at him from behind and swept his legs from under him.
There was a bone-crunching thud as he hit the deck.
Her heart raced until he stood, spat heartily and dusted himself off, glaring at his opponent.
He was rewarded by several slaps on his back from his teammates.
She caught his eye and gripped the inside of her pockets with her fingers, trying to quell her reflex to wave.
Instead she smiled broadly and he gave a small, almost imperceptible nod that flooded her with happiness.
‘Hello, you!’ An eager voice came from over her shoulder. Nina turned to see a familiar face: Gilly, the big woman from work with the feathered red hair.
‘Gilly!’ Her relief was genuine. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here!’
‘Likewise. I didn’t know your boy played?’ She nodded towards the pitch.
‘Yes! Connor. He’s the tall one . . . I was going to say in red and black, but that doesn’t narrow it down much.’
‘It doesn’t, sweetie!’ Gilly laughed. ‘Come and sit with us.’
‘Oh, I don’t . . .’ She struggled to think of a reason to decline fast enough.
‘Come on!’ Gilly insisted. ‘It’s good to see you.’ Gilly tucked Nina’s arm inside hers and pulled her along. ‘Are you a rugby fan?’ she quizzed.
‘Erm, not really,’ Nina confessed. ‘I don’t really understand the rules exactly, but Connor’s mad about it, so . . .’
‘I thought so. You need to come and sit with my friends and me. We are, like you, reluctant supporters and we’re up here on the benches.’
‘Is that okay?’ She looked at the woman with concern, wary of barging in.
‘Of course!’
Nina followed her up to the stands. Two women sat on the end of a bench facing the field, chatting and holding china mugs. They looked like any regular mums, in jeans, jackets, boots and scarves, with phones resting on their laps. Gilly pointed to each woman in turn, ‘Moira, Lou, this is Nina!’
They both waved and smiled broadly.
‘Hi, Nina!’
‘Hello!
‘Nina and I are colleagues.’ The simple phrase uttered by Gilly sent a bolt of joy through Nina’s core. She had a job, she had a place. Nina felt emboldened. She took a seat next to Lou.
‘We’re not that keen on rugby,’ Lou whispered. ‘But we need to support the boys, so we sit here and drink this.’ Moira handed her a white china mug that was half full of white wine.
Nina nodded, worried about saying something and sounding like a prude.
‘We chat about anything other than what’s going on on the field, we bring snacks and we take turns doing this.’ Gilly nodded at her friend. ‘It’s you, Lou. Your turn,’ she instructed.
The slightly chubby woman with a blonde bob looked at her. ‘Are you sure it’s me?’
‘Yes!’
‘Go, girl!’ they heckled.
‘All right then.’ Lou coughed, stood and placed her hands either side of her mouth. ‘Come on, Cottrell’s! Go, Jack!’ The others cheered and Nina joined in, clapping softly and hoping no one paid her any attention.
‘We call out every ten minutes or so and we all shout out if they score.’
‘But other than that, we talk about the kids, our partners, our diets, our lives, money, TV, anything!’
‘I think I can handle that!’ Nina laughed and sipped her wine. ‘Apart from the shouting out. I couldn’t do that. No way!’ She balked at the prospect.
‘Well that’s okay, shouting is optional. There are only two rules here, Nina,’ Moira informed her, flicking her long dark plait over her shoulder.
‘What?’
‘We keep it a secret that there is anything other than coffee in these sacred mugs.’
‘Okay.’ She nodded, sipping again.
‘And secondly we never tell anyone that we couldn’t give a damn about rugby.’
‘Got it,’ she whispered.
They all clinked mugs and laughed loudly.
Nina laughed, marvelling at how happy she felt. She had known these women for a little under five minutes, and what a difference they were making to her today, of all days, keeping the memories at bay, creating new ones. It was so very different to Kings Norton College.
‘I wonder what I missed?’
She heard her husband’s words. ‘We like it being just the two of us, don’t we?
’ Finn had always asserted, and she had readily agreed.
Only now was she beginning to wonder how different her life might have been if she had said yes to the odd invitation, set different boundaries at the very beginning.
‘Okay, Nina, but it’s your turn to call support, in approximately’ – Moira looked at her watch – ‘four minutes.’
‘Oh God, no! I really wasn’t joking. There is no way I could do that.’ She swallowed like a schoolgirl in the face of a dare, felt her mouth go dry and her cheeks burn crimson.
Gilly placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s okay. I’ll take your go.’
Nina nodded with instant relief, and smiled broadly at Gilly and her new friends.