Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
The mid-July air was warm and full of summer promise.
Nina spied the boy Joshy, with the burgundy knitted scarf, sober now and being collected by an over-fussy mother and a patient dad as they loaded his trunk and TV into the back of a family car.
Portswood Road was quieter, as if it could take a breather from the constant hum of life that filled it day and night as the throngs of students had dissipated for the summer.
Toothless Vera was glad that without the students, her workload was halved, which meant more time for Styrofoam cups of tea in exchange for a good old gossip.
Lucia told Nina she had decided to try to study at home, focusing on her art between cleaning jobs, working in the store and looking after her siblings.
Nina told her she should be proud of herself.
The smile of thanks she gave her was like a gift.
She couldn’t wait to be in a similar position and start her nursing course. It was exciting.
She and her boys enjoyed breakfast with the French doors thrown open as they chatted about Connor’s final game of the term.
‘How are you feeling, Connor? Nervous?’
‘A bit, yes, but not because of the match, that’ll be fine. But Anna’s going to be there, and I want to be really good.’
‘Do you know what, love? I have seen the way she looks at you, on and off the pitch, and I have a sneaking suspicion that even if you never touched the ball and rolled around on the touchline, she’d think you were absolutely brilliant.
’ She watched his face brighten at the compliment.
‘And you’ve packed your clean shirt and tie for the dinner? ’
‘Yep.’ He nodded, sipping his juice.
‘I’m glad I’m not going to your stupid dinner. I’d rather have a sleepover at Arek’s anyway!’ Declan pouted, his expression suggesting the exact opposite.
She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. ‘I think you’ll have a lovely time, darling.’ She reached over and kissed her baby. ‘Arek’s mum told me she is making your favourite pierogi.’
Later that morning, searching for hairgrips in her bedside drawer, Nina’s hand touched upon the little matchbox.
She opened it and placed the marble in the palm of her hand.
Closing her eyes, she heard her mother’s words: ‘This is a little world, Nina. And if ever the real world feels too big or too scary, remember that it is nothing more than a little ball travelling through space and it fits right into the palm of your hand and the more courage you have, the braver you are when facing it, the easier it is to conquer!’
‘I hear you, Mamma,’ she whispered. And for the first time ever, she knew what she meant.
It had already been a busy day by the time Nina arrived in the stands, with the match about to start. Connor stood tall, mid-pitch, looking determinedly at the opposition, allowing himself the odd glance in Anna’s direction.
Lou patted the bench next to her. Moira handed her a mug.
‘To friendship.’ Gilly made a toast as they clunked their mugs and took a sip.
The whistle blew and the game began. It was instantly fast and ferocious. She watched as the pitch churned under the frantic activity of studded boots, and winced as bodies collided mid-tackle with sickening thuds.
‘Okay,’ Moira called. ‘You are up, Nina – go and call your support.’
Gilly and Lou looked at her. She could tell by their expressions they expected her to protest and decline.
‘You don’t have to do it,’ Gilly whispered. ‘I’ll take your turn if you like.’
Nina rested her mug on the bench and coughed to clear her throat. ‘You know what, Gilly? I do have to do it.’
Courage and bravery, Nina . . . she repeated in her head. Placing her hands either side of her mouth, she felt the rush of empowerment. She was excited, happy, to be here in the place where she lived with her friends. Her son was playing the game he loved and the sun was out.
‘Come on, Cottrell’s! Go, Connor!’ she yelled at the top of her lungs.
Her voice was loud and cut through the activity of the pitch and the chatter all around. She felt as if every pair of eyes in the place swivelled in her direction, including Connor’s. He shook his head, a smile of amusement on his face.
Anna clapped from where she stood with her pals on the touchline. ‘Go, Nina! Woohoo!’ She shouted her support.
The women high-fived each other and chuckled. Moira handed her back her mug of wine. ‘Well done, mate. Well done.’
She sat down and pictured Kathy Topps, who had shown her true colours at a time when a kind word would have made all the difference.
She pictured The Tynings, the once beautiful place where she and Finn had raised two fine boys and where she had often sat alone, longing for company, as she waited for her husband to come home.
Now here she was, and the message was clear.
Her happiness was never going to be found in things; it was waiting for her, right here, in people.
Gilly wolf-whistled as Nina stepped from the cubicle in the girls’ bathroom in her long black skirt and white silk blouse.
She had last worn this outfit for a Kings Norton function, where she had spent the evening clinging to Finn’s arm and counting down the hours until she could return to the safety of The Tynings.
She smoothed the skirt with her hand. Tonight was the first time she would be attending an evening social event without Finn.
Having Gilly, Tiggy and Jacob in tow certainly helped.
‘You look lovely too.’ She nodded at Gilly’s ample bust, fitted into a diamanté-laced bodice.
‘I know.’ Gilly wiggled her hips and giggled.
She met Tiggy and Jacob in the foyer. ‘You look fabulous,’ Tiggy said.
‘I feel a bit self-conscious,’ Nina replied. They both knew this was a huge leap forward from her previous anxiety.
‘If it makes you feel better, I was wearing a tight shirt the other day and Toothless Vera asked me if I was pregnant.’
‘She didn’t!’ Nina laughed.
‘She did! And I have to confess it left me feeling a little confused,’ Tiggy said.
‘In what way?’
‘I didn’t know whether to be delighted that she thought I was young enough to have eggs that were still ripe enough for harvesting, or upset that I looked fat enough to be considered pregnant.’
‘Would that be such a bad thing?’ Jacob interjected.
Tiggy smiled. There was no quip or barb in reply. Instead she let her arm fall through his as they all made their way into the school hall.
The place looked beautiful. Banners hung from the ceiling congratulating the team on their season, and the round tables sparkled with shiny glassware, white china and pretty bowls of white and purple flowers – sweet peas, one of Nina’s favourites.
Once everyone was seated, the lights dimmed and the rugby team made their grand entrance.
Everyone stood and clapped. Nina was struck by the sight of her son and his beautiful girl striding through the hall confidently.
They enjoyed a glorious meal, accompanied by laughter and the sipping of wine. Nina noted the way Tiggy gazed at Jacob and felt a wave of love for her sister. She hoped for the very best for her.
As the pudding was served, the coach stood up and tapped his wine glass with a fork.
‘What a team!’ he began. He was met with whoops and hollers that took a good few minutes to calm.
The atmosphere was electric. ‘And now can I ask for your attention while we give out tonight’s awards.
’ A hush fell, punctuated with laughter as boys went up to retrieve trophies, those for ‘Highest Scorer’ and ‘Try of the Season’, interspersed with ‘Worst Haircut’ and another for the ‘Most Injuries’.
All the boys spoke a few mumbled words of thanks, some more eloquently than others.
Nina loved the fact that the ceremony was inclusive and fun, and again she pictured the dislikeable Mr Moor and his arrogant dismissal of her request.
‘And now, the award for most outstanding contribution goes to . . .’ There was a beat of silence. ‘Connor “Snow” McCarrick.’
Without thinking or hesitation, Nina jumped to her feet and beamed at her boy, who walked slowly up to the claps and shouts of everyone in the room.
‘Oh my word!’ she managed, looking at Tiggy with tears in her eyes.
Finn! Look at our boy! Look at him!
She took her seat and smiled at her sister and friends, who all offered their congratulations.
Connor shook hands with the coach. She saw his nerves as he looked out over the sea of faces, all staring at him expectedly.
‘My dad died,’ he began, ‘and I didn’t want to come here to play rugby. Didn’t want to come here at all.’
Nina swallowed tears. The room was silent.
‘But now I am glad I did.’ He held up his trophy and a ripple of laughter made its way around the room.
‘I’ve been lucky to have a strong figure in my life who I have always looked up to, who taught me everything that is worth knowing, and the true meaning of determination, courage and faith. I dedicate my award to that person.’
Nina looked down, not wanting the tears to spill, grateful her son still looked up to Finn, mentioned in this way.
It meant that, despite the manner of his death hanging over them like a sharp question mark around which they skirted, her son could see beyond that.
But Connor’s next words knocked her off balance.
Connor continued. ‘It’s my brilliant mum, Nina.’
As the room erupted with claps and cheers, she knew she would carry this moment of pure joy with her always.
She looked up at Connor, her wonderful boy, who had indeed come back to her.
His words were the most beautiful expression of love she had ever heard.
You are what we did right, Connor, you and Declan!
With the speeches finished, the lights dimmed as the DJ set up on the dance floor.
Tiggy shifted along, until she was sitting next to her at the table.
‘You’ve done good, you know,’ Tiggy whispered.