Chapter Twelve #2
If you look closely, however, you can catch the moments where she slips.
Her smile never changes, but her eyes fade away.
There are photos that may come across to someone else like she’s smoldering, but there’s nothing there.
Her eyes are empty, like she’s been drained of all the will to keep going.
There are videos where you can see her disassociate even though her voice doesn’t skip a beat.
In all the pictures and videos where her eyes betray her, her hands put the final nail in the coffin.
She grips her purse tighter than usual, her hands ball into tight fists or lie unnaturally straight at her sides, as she mindlessly traces circles while she’s talking.
I want to earn her trust back. I want to be the person she can come to when she needs to fall apart. I want to be someone she wants to share her wins and experience joy with. I want to be her sandpaper.
I analyze a few more posts before a FaceTime call from Christian takes over my screen. After I briefly consider ignoring the call, I answer with Dani’s permission.
I take my earbud out so Dani can participate if she wants to, although maybe I should’ve saved her the trouble. “What’s up, man?”
“Aye, be real with me. If Bailey wanted to date me, would you let her?”
Now, see. If I’d known he was going to be on some bullshit today, I wouldn’t have answered.
Dani’s head swings in my direction, her brows pulled up to her hairline.
“The fuck are you talkin’ about?” I ask.
When I first answered the call, I was looking at the sky through his sunroof, but now he’s picked up his phone so I can see him sitting in his car.
“Just answer the question.” He leans closer to the phone with bated breath.
I suck my teeth. “Bailey’s a grown-ass woman, so I don’t let her date anyone. But if she told me y’all were dating, I wouldn’t be mad about it.”
He lets out a deep sigh and leans back in his seat. “That’s what’s up.”
I laugh. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Wait a minute, where you at? Who’s driving?” he asks me.
I pan the phone over so he can see Dani. She sends a polite wave his way.
“Oh shit, what’s good, DJ?! He got you driving him around and shit? You deserve better.”
She glances over to the phone with pursed lips before saying, “Are you supposed to be the better, Christian?”
He grins. “My services are always available. You’d always be my passenger princess.”
I turn the phone so he can see my deadpan face. “Well, since I answered your question, I’ma head out.”
“Hol’up, damn. I was saying Sophie was making content for the show today and she asked everyone at the station who they wouldn’t want to date their sister and everybody said me.”
When I don’t say anything, he narrows his eyes. “Hello?”
“Hello.”
“Ayo. You just said you’d let me date Bailey.”
It’s like he doesn’t hear himself when he talks.
“Again with the ‘let,’ but yeah, I did. But that’s off the strength of our friendship.
You’re my boy, so I trust you wouldn’t get involved with one of the most important people to me if you were gonna be on fuck shit like you usually are.
” I wouldn’t call him a man or a friend if I thought he’d do something like that.
He seems to mull over my words. “So you saying my coworkers don’t trust me?”
I smack my hand over my mouth. “Ohhh shit, look at that.”
“Look at what?”
“The consequences of your actions.”
He hangs his head, letting out a short chuckle. “That’s crazy. I’m a trustworthy guy!”
Without another word, I add Rome to the call. Christian sinks deeper into his seat when he sees that I’m ringing him.
Rome answers with raised brows and narrowed eyes. “What y’all on?”
I cut Christian off before he has a chance to speak. “If you had a sister and she told you she was dating Christian, would you fuck him up?”
His nose scrunches. “Wait … are Christian and Bailey dating?”
“No,” Christian and I both answer.
Rome’s eyes swing back and forth like a pendulum. “Okay. Then yeah, because why you ain’t tell me you were interested in her?”
Christian rolls his eyes. “After you get over that, what’s up?”
A softer voice creeps in on Rome’s end of the line to say hello. Rome shifts the phone so we can see Janelle standing behind Rome’s couch.
“How you doing, Janelle?” I ask.
“Janelle! How you doing, baby?” Christian adds.
“I’m good, how are y’all?”
We catch up with her briefly before Christian turns the conversation back to his hoeish ways.
“Janelle, I would ask you this question, but that might be too soon, right?” His smile is so wide he can’t close his mouth.
Janelle holds up her middle finger. “And for that, I hope you step on a Lego.”
Christian grabs his heart. “Ahh, Janelle, I was just playing.”
She shakes her head and waves him off before kissing Rome on the forehead and walking off, yelling for Dani to text her later before she completely disappears.
“Come baaaack!” Christian sings.
“You ain’t shit,” Rome laughs.
“The kind of ain’t shit that you’d want to be your brother-in-law?” he asks.
“I mean I guess. You know I’d kill you if you hurt my sister, so I wouldn’t be worried.” He demands to know why we’re asking, so I fill him in, and he roasts Christian, insisting he’s going to tell Evie next time he sees her.
Dani assures him she’s already on it.
“All we’re saying is maybe if you treated all women like they were mine and Rome’s sisters, you wouldn’t have a reputation.” I shrug. It’s such a simple concept, and I can’t wait until the day Christian finally understands it.
He pleads his case some more, but we’re not trying to hear it.
Janelle’s voice chimes in again, telling him that she’s going to pick up their food.
She tried to argue that he should stay and talk to us when he says that he’ll go with her and drive, but he shakes his head.
The last thing he says is “fuck them” before he flips us off and hangs up on us.
Christian jokes about him being whipped, but I can’t bring myself to do the same.
I had no idea Rome was harboring feelings for Janelle for so long. I thought I’d recognize that level of desperation in someone else, but I missed all the signs. I’m just glad to see my boy happy now, even if I’m a bit jealous.
“He is so interesting,” Dani comments under her breath once Christian and I hang up.
I howl with laughter. “That’s probably the nicest thing a woman’s ever said about him.”
“Damn. Let me walk that back then. Evie would kill me if she knew I damn near complimented the man.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” I promise, zipping my lips shut and pretending to throw away the key.
She looks at me with a hint of something in her eyes. I wish I knew what it was.
Not too much later, we’re pulling into Tanya’s driveway.
It gets a little easier to walk into Tanya’s house every time. It doesn’t feel so much like I’m trespassing, more like I’m house-sitting. I only sometimes have to remind myself that she’s not coming back to take over the job.
Taking a deep breath, I look to Dani for direction. “Okay, so did you have a thought about what our clue means?”
“Yes.” She holds her chin up high. “Well, kinda.”
I wince. “You had me in the first half.”
“No, no, hear me out. I was thinking that Tanya isn’t from here. She was born and raised in South Carolina, so what if the home she’s talking about isn’t this one?”
I always forget about South Carolina being Tanya’s home state. She never talked about her childhood much. Any stories she shared about her parents always seemed as if they existed in a vacuum, removed from any one place.
“That makes sense. So, what are we doing here?”
“Well, we don’t know where she lived in South Carolina. I think it was somewhere close to Columbia, but I’m not sure. And we know Victor’s ass ain’t gonna help. So, there’s gotta be something here that’s gonna lead us to that home.”
I nod in understanding. “Okay, then. I’ll take downstairs, you take upstairs?”
I don’t want to admit defeat, but at a certain point Victor has to take pity and give us something, right?
The urge to put us out of our misery and call him grows stronger with every minute, but I won’t do it. I can hear Tanya in the back of my mind giving me shit for giving up. “That kind of attitude is why you could never beat me at chess.”
I need some air. I step outside, letting the brisk breeze bite my bare arms. If not somewhere in this house, where is Tanya trying to lead us?
The note from Daria’s champagne bottle said, You can always go home.
Is home referring to a person rather than a place?
An odd sensation prickles my feet, catching my attention.
When I look down, I realize I haven’t put my shoes back on before stepping out here.
The welcome mat scratches the pads of my feet through my socks.
Welcome mat.
The fucking mat literally says “Welcome home.” It never crossed my mind to check. I’m both relieved and irritated when I lift the mat and find a storage locker key.
I race back inside to show Dani what I found, and she finds a receipt for a storage unit at a place close to the house.
“One eighteen, here it is,” Dani yells as we pull up to the outside unit with the number that matches our key. “I’m telling you right now, if this isn’t the right place, I’m beating Victor’s ass.”
Her words make me choke on air. “Now, why are you threatening that man?” I ask once I’m able to stop coughing.
“Well, I can’t beat Tanya’s ass, now can I?” She slaps the back of her hand. “But she’ll get it too whenever I arrive to the upper room.” She looks up to the sky as if daring Tanya to do something about it.
“You keep playing. Me and Daria tried to tell you that lady was strong.”
She balks at me. “And see? Now whenever I get up there, I gotta body-slam her all because you talk too much.” She looks up to the sky again. “I’m sorry in advance, Tanya.”