Chapter Twenty-Two
Dani
HEAVY THUDS AGAINST MY DOOR CATCH BAILEY’S, Nisha’s, and my attention.
“You got a warrant out or something?” Bailey asks.
“Not in this state.” I stick my tongue out at her as I make my way to the door.
An excited Evie waits on the other side, carrying a large white box with a gold ribbon wrapped around it.
“Interesting time for you not to use your key.”
“You don’t see this big-ass box in my hand?” Hearing voices behind me, she bends to try to see past my arms, almost stumbling. “Who all over here?”
I lead her to where the girls are.
When Nisha sees her, she jumps up for a hug. Evie plops the box down on my kitchen counter to reciprocate.
Evie looks at Bailey, stunned for a moment before smoothing out her features.
“Evie, this is Bailey. Micah’s sister,” I introduce the two. There’s no reason to hide their relation. Their parents literally hit copy and paste when they had them.
She tips her head back. “Ahh, that makes so much sense. I kept thinking I knew you from somewhere. And then I was like, is this my gay awakening? What’s happening?”
Nisha and I cackle while Bailey flashes a bright smile and dips into a curtsy. “Oh my gosh, I love you already,” she says to Evie.
They gush over each other for another minute before Evie finally makes her way over to this mysterious box. “Okay, okay. So, I have a sample of the invites for Tanya’s gala and I had to show you.”
A sample invite? In that huge box? “That whole box is the invite?”
She beams. “Yep! You said make it extravagant, sooo …”
Instead of finishing her sentence, she unties the ribbon and presses one of the sides.
The box opens outward until it lies flat and as it does a group of beautiful paper butterflies flutter into the air.
When the last butterfly is out, our attention is drawn to what’s in the center: a smaller, flatter box with a tent card on top.
I flip it open. It reads: “Please make art with me one last time.”
When I lift up the lid of the second box, there is a blank card, a paintbrush, and a strip of watercolor paints inside.
My curiosity too great to wait, I grab the items and spread them out on my counter. The girls gather around closely as I run the brush under my kitchen sink and dip it into blue paint, spreading it across the card with reckless abandon.
The words come to life on the page under each stroke of the brush. Details for the gala typed in an elegant font. Bailey gasps.
I turn to Evie with watery eyes. “Evie, this is beautiful. It’s … it’s genius.”
She takes a little bow with a proud smile. “Thank you. You said Tanya had a flair for the dramatics, so I figured she’d like this.”
She’d absolutely love it. She’d probably have Evie make a dozen extra just so she could open them all and pretend to be shocked every time.
We look over the invitation to make sure all the details are correct before working out the logistics of sending them out. Evie volunteers to handle delivery as part of her contribution, and Nisha emails her the guest list.
“Okay, I gotta go. I will call you later,” Evie says, blowing me a kiss and saying her goodbyes to Nisha and Bailey.
“Okay, love you. Tell Jalen I said hi.”
“Love you too, I will,” she responds before realizing what she’s said. She stops in her tracks and turns back to me. “Oh, fuck you.”
The sound of my howling laughter follows her out the door.
Once she’s gone, Nisha goes back to typing on her laptop. “We got a few more auction item submissions today, so I’m organizing those into categories. Is Micah coming? I got a question about one of the paintings he’s auctioning.”
Bailey’s tone is forceful and shadowed by betrayal. “Who cares?”
“Oop. Okay, I’m guessing you two haven’t made up yet.” Nisha whistles.
My heart pangs. I know it’s killing Micah that Bailey won’t speak to him. I’m not sure if they’ve ever gone this long without talking. He doesn’t even know I’m meeting with her today, because I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes.
“Nope.” She pops her lips around the p.
“What will it take for you to forgive him?” I ask.
She looks me up and down. “Are you gonna run and tell him if I tell you?”
“If you’re asking me not to, then I won’t.” As much as I want them to make up, I won’t betray Bailey’s trust. Besides, Micah knows he was wrong and he’s working hard to make it right. He doesn’t need my interference.
“Okay, good. I’m asking you not to. Honestly, I’m not even mad anymore, but my feelings are hurt. He’s pissed me off with his hovering ways before, but that was the first time he’s made me feel small. And I don’t know how we come back from that.”
Injured pride can be hard to overlook. Especially when the one who deals the killing blow is someone who’s supposed to be in your corner. It’s a wound that never heals quite the same as it was before, but with the proper care, the scar can be minimal.
“Look, I can’t tell you what to do. But I can say that I know you love each other very much and your bond is worth fighting for.”
She swallows hard, her arms hugging her stomach. “I’m gonna go. I gotta meet up with Justin to prep for class.” She thanks me for my thoughts with a hug then turns to Nisha. “Call me later?”
Nisha nods and Bailey grazes her hand with her pinky before leaving.
I squint at Nisha, folding my arms over my chest.
She lets out a small huff. “No comment.”
I press my lips together to hide a smile. “Mhm. Okay, fine.”
“Actually, I’ll tell you if you tell me what’s up with you and Micah.”
“Okay,” I say, shrugging my shoulders back.
She hunches over. “Damn, I thought you’d tell me to fuck off. Okay, I changed my mind.” She closes her laptop and attempts to run from her chair.
“Nah uh, get over here! Come hear about all the fantastic sex I’m having!” I yell as I chase her down.
Signing up to lay myself bare and confront my ugliest truths is probably the wildest thing I’ve ever done.
And what do I get at the end of it? Personal growth? Yippee.
Dr. Goode and I have hit our stride in our relationship. We work well together in the sense that even when I feel a bit raw after our sessions, I never leave feeling broken.
Sometimes, though, on days like today, the realizations make me wish I had never opened this can of worms.
“So, you think the argument you had with Amerie the other day was silly?”
I blow out a harsh breath. “Not at all. I just think it’s silly that I should have to explain to someone who’s supposed to be my best friend that this event is important to me and her planning a trip at the same time is rude and inconsiderate.
” I wouldn’t think I’d need to tell her that this event I’ve been planning for months in honor of my dead mentor should probably take precedence over a trip she just started planning when she could have picked any other time.
The more I think about the conversation we had yesterday, the more mad I get.
She had the audacity to say, “It’s just a party. ”
My feet are tired from pacing around the office, but I need to dispel this energy somehow.
“I see you’re taking deep breaths to re-center yourself. Why?”
That gives me pause. “What do you mean ‘why’? Shouldn’t I be trying to calm down? Not be so angry?”
“Sure, but you haven’t given yourself a chance to simply be angry first.”
“I don’t wanna hold on to that, though.”
“Let me ask you a question.”
Questions from the Goode doctor are never fun. Questions from her always make me question myself. “Yeah?”
“I’ve noticed that when it comes to your friendships with Janelle and Evelyn, you all seem to have a system where you hold each other accountable.
When you fight, you process it and move on.
But when it comes to Amerie, you go out of your way not to hold her bad behavior against her. I’m curious why that is.”
That’s less of a question, more of an observation, but go off. “Well, I wouldn’t say I go out of my way not to. I hold her accountable.” I was the one who talked to her after her wedding and told her she was wrong and needed to make things right with Nelle.
“I didn’t say you don’t hold her accountable. I said you don’t hold her bad behavior against her. It’s like you feel bad about yourself when you’re mad at her, even when your anger is justified.”
I freeze. My feet meld themselves to the floor, wanting to run away from what’s coming but knowing I can’t. I do feel bad about myself when I’m mad at Amerie. She frustrates me because there’s a familiarity I see in her, and I hate when she holds that mirror up to my face.
Slowly, I deflate into my chair. “I don’t wanna be like her.”
“You don’t wanna be like Amerie.”
Again, not a question. A cold, hard fact lingering in the air, slapping me in the face.
“Well, why is that?”
Amerie has a habit of lashing out at the people who care about her, isolating herself from us.
Sometimes I think the walls I’ve put up to protect myself from outsiders keep the people I want in out as well.
I don’t want to isolate myself from them.
I don’t want to become unlikable. “I don’t want the seeds of my unhappiness to plant themselves in my relationships. ”
Maybe that’s why I can’t bring myself to give up on Ri. I don’t want to believe she’s too far gone, because what does that mean for me?
Dr. Goode considers my words. “I have a challenge for you.”
“Should I choose to accept.”
“Exactly. I want you to take yourself on a date.”
“Take myself on a date? Like dinner and a movie?”
“If that’s the type of date you like, sure. I want you to go out into the world and spend some time alone. Check in with yourself.”
“I feel like I spend plenty of time with myself,” I object.
She shakes her head. “You spend a lot of time with yourself when you’re overanalyzing everything you do.
It’s great that you care about your loved ones and that you want to protect them from the walls you’ve built.
But I don’t think you’ll be able to take those walls down until you feel safer with yourself. ”