34. Casey
By early May, things stop feeling fragile all the time.
There are still moments when hurt catches unexpectedly between us.
Small, sharp remnants of everything that happened.
Sometimes Adriano tells me something with a carefulness that makes it obvious he’s still learning how not to filter the truth before handing it to me.
Sometimes I still hesitate before fully leaning into him when fear whispers that trusting someone completely is dangerous.
But then there are other moments, too. Morning coffee already waiting for me because he noticed I slept badly. Late nights on the couch with my legs across his lap while he works and absently rubs circles against my ankle without thinking about it.
Letty insisting we both attend a deeply alarming stuffed animal tea party because apparently even stuffed toys need tea and cakes sometimes.
And slowly, somewhere inside all those ordinary little things, trust begins rebuilding itself quietly. Which, I’m beginning to realize, might actually be more romantic.
The strangest part is watching Adriano change in tiny ways he probably doesn’t even notice himself. He asks now. Not constantly, but enough that I feel the difference every day.
Do you want me to handle it or just listen?
Are you tired or pretending not to be tired?
Can I come with you?
The first time he asked permission before stepping into the annex, I cried so hard that he panicked and almost called an ambulance.
We haven’t had sex yet, although I’ve tried to seduce him into staying a number of times, but he insists we take it slow this time.
Adi wants things between us to be perfect before we make love again.
That hasn’t stopped us from having some seriously heavy make-out sessions, though.
I’m so on edge that when he does touch me, I’m gonna go off like a rocket. Because my man can kiss. Like, soul-destroying kisses which scramble my brain cells.
Tonight, the brownstone is warm with rain and music and the smell of garlic from the kitchen downstairs.
Elena and Rossi are hosting dinner because, apparently, newly engaged people become legally obligated to feed everyone they know at least twice a month.
We’re doing it here because it’s easier for us with Letty.
I’m halfway through fastening an earring when Adriano appears in the bedroom doorway.
And there he is again.
The problem.
Charcoal gray suit, tie knotted perfectly, sleeves rolled just enough to expose his forearms.
Honestly, God was showing off a little when he made this man.
Adriano’s gaze drifts slowly over me before settling back on my face. The look in his eyes is hungry appreciation.
“You’re staring,” I murmur.
“Can you blame me? You look like all my fantasies come to life.”
The dress Isabella bullied me into wearing is dark red silk and fitted enough that Adriano’s self-control visibly weakens every time he looks at me.
Not that I’m complaining. He crosses the room slowly, stopping directly in front of me before adjusting one of my earrings with surprising gentleness.
“You nervous?” he asks quietly.
“A little.”
His hand slides slowly along my waist, fingertips brushing lightly against the silk of my dress like he can’t quite help himself. “You know,” he murmurs, “I think I’ve spent most of today trying to figure out how it’s possible for you to get more beautiful every time I look at you.”
Heat rises instantly in my cheeks. “That sounds medically concerning.”
“It’s definitely becoming a problem.” His gaze drifts over me again, completely unhurried. Appreciative in a way that still makes my stomach flip embarrassingly fast. “I saw you walk into the yard earlier and genuinely forgot what Matteo was saying mid-sentence.”
“That probably happens often with Matteo.”
“Not because of Matteo.”
I laugh softly, and his expression changes immediately at the sound. Softening in a way that still catches me off-guard sometimes.
“There she is,” he says quietly.
“What?”
“That look.” His thumb brushes slowly against my hip. “Happy. Relaxed.” He swallows once before adding more softly, “You have no idea what that does to me.”
Emotion pulls warm and tight through my chest.
Because there it is again.
Not grand declarations. Just honesty.
“I still can’t believe you came back to me sometimes,” he admits quietly.
The words hit me so hard I blink up at him. “Adi—”
“No, I mean it.” His eyes stay fixed on mine. “I know what I did to you. I know how badly I handled things.” His hand tightens slightly at my waist like he needs the contact. “And then somehow you still chose me again anyway.”
God.
This man.
I reach up slowly, smoothing my hand along his jaw. “You make it sound like loving you is difficult.”
A soft laugh leaves him then, rough around the edges. “Tesoro, I’m an acquired taste at best.”
“That’s not true.”
“No?” His mouth brushes briefly against my temple. “I’m controlling, obsessive, occasionally homicidal—”
“Occasionally?”
“Fine, often.”
I snort softly, and he smiles against my skin before his expression turns serious again.
“I spent a long time thinking love meant being feared a little,” he says quietly. “Then you walked into my life and somehow made me want softer things.”
The warmth in my chest turns almost unbearably tender. “You know what I think?” I whisper.
“What?”
“I think you were always softer with me.”
Something raw flickers briefly across his face.
Then he leans down and kisses me slowly, one hand sliding into my hair while the other grips my ass and pulls me against his chest.
“I love you,” he murmurs against my mouth. One hand settles against my waist while the other slides slowly up the back of my neck. “You know,” he murmurs, “you get this look sometimes right before you say something.”
I laugh quietly. “I do?”
“Yes.” His thumb brushes my jaw. “Usually right before I end up unable to think properly for several hours.”
“That sounds like a you problem.”
“It absolutely is.”
I smile despite myself.
Then his expression changes slightly.
Softening.
“Talk to me.”
There was a time when those words would’ve terrified me. Now they just feel safe.
I reach up slowly, smoothing my fingers along the edge of his jaw. “I think,” I say quietly, “I spent so long believing love was supposed to cost me something that I didn’t realize it could feel like this instead.”
Something flickers across his face so raw and immediate that it steals my breath for a second.
“Casey…”
“You make me feel…” I laugh softly at myself. “God, this is going to sound ridiculous.”
“I promise I’ll still be unbearably in love with you afterward.”
Heat rushes into my cheeks instantly.
Adriano looks deeply pleased with himself.
“I hate when you say things like that.”
“No, you don’t.”
Annoyingly, he’s right.
I look at him for a moment longer before finally saying the thing sitting heavily in my chest. “You make me feel safe enough to be happy.”
Silence.
Then Adriano closes his eyes briefly like the words physically hit him somewhere vulnerable. When he looks at me again, there’s so much emotion in his expression it almost undoes me completely.
“Baby,” he says softly, “you have no idea what you just did to me.”
Before I can answer, he kisses me.
Slow at first.
Careful.
Then deeper, when my hands slide into his hair and I feel the low sound that leaves his chest more than I hear it.
The chemistry between us still feels slightly catastrophic sometimes.
A knock sounds against the bedroom door.
Neither of us moves.
Another knock.
Then Matteo’s voice. “If you two are having sex instead of coming to dinner, Elena says she’ll disown both of you.”
Adriano sighs heavily against my mouth. “I’m considering murder.”
“I can hear you,” Matteo calls back immediately.
“You were meant to.”
I burst into laughter against Adriano’s chest as he finally pulls back, looking deeply offended by the existence of interruptions.
And standing there in the middle of all that warmth and noise and ridiculousness, with the man I love looking at me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him—
I realize something quietly.
I’m happy enough to be free.
“I love you, Adriano Mancini.”
He closes his eyes and smiles before letting out an unsteady breath. “I love you too, Tesoro. Now and every day until I leave this earth.”
“Adriano, hurry the fuck up, bro.”
Adi closes his eyes and purses his lips as I try not to laugh. “I’m gonna kill him.”
“Don’t do that. I have plans for you after dinner that involve you and me naked and lots of screaming.”
“Tesoro, I love you, but I have to tell you I’m not into pain. At least not my own.”
I swat his belly and he grabs my arm and kisses my wrist.
“I love you.”
“Always, Tesoro.”