24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
S he needed time to think.
Lily knew she wouldn’t be afforded that luxury if she went home or to the Lily Pad. And so, she headed for the beach.
Once she got there, she slipped off her shoes. The sand was warm from the afternoon sun. It felt good beneath her bare feet.
As though her body automatically knew what she needed before she did, she found herself headed in the direction of her thinking rock. In the past few weeks, she hadn’t gotten to spend any time sitting out there. She missed it.
Carefully, she stepped on the smaller rocks as she ascended upward, using a familiar path. When she reached her goal, she sighed as she settled on the rock.
Setting her socks and shoes aside, she leaned back on her arms and closed her eyes. The sea breeze rushed past her face. But it didn’t sweep away any of her pain or disappointment.
She tried to clear her mind. It was impossible. Her thoughts continually returned to Tony.
She couldn’t see any way for them to find common ground if he wasn’t willing to meet her in the middle. She shouldn’t have let herself get caught up in the what-if’s and the maybes. It wouldn’t happen again.
He was always going to be the rigid rule-follower. And she was always going to be the one who would bend a rule if the situation warranted it. There was no way those two people could be happy together.
All she wanted in that moment was to pretend he didn’t exist—that her heart wasn’t utterly shattered. But Bluestar was too small of an island for them to avoid each other for long—
“Lily!”
As though to prove her point, she glanced to the left and saw Tony headed in her direction. The one person that she did not want to talk to.
She wanted to tell him to go away—to leave her alone—but she could see the determined look on his face. It was a familiar look that let her know he wasn’t going anywhere until she heard him out.
And so, she sat there quietly while he worked his way up onto the rock. Of course, he didn’t have an easy time of it with his arm in a cast. She refused to tell him her method for making it to the top of the big rock. Was it too much to hope that he’d get frustrated and leave?
By sheer determination, he made it. He dropped down beside her. “I’ve been looking for you. Didn’t you get my messages?”
She had gotten his phone calls and messages, but he obviously hadn’t read into her silence that she needed some time alone. So, she tried a more direct approach. “You know, I came out here to be alone.”
“I know. After you didn’t show up at Dips, I went to the Lily Pad and then to your house. Your neighbor let me know that you weren’t home.”
“Oh, you mean Mildred. She’s very sweet but a little nosey.”
He nodded. “And from there I went to the market.”
Oh no. She didn’t want him sharing any of this with her family. It was bad enough that Jenna knew, but she didn’t want Neil and the rest of her siblings knowing about her love life—or the lack of it.
“Please tell me you didn’t talk to Neil about me.”
“As a matter of fact, I did.” She inwardly groaned as he said, “I don’t know if you know this, but your brother warned me to stay away from you in high school.”
“He did?” She was truly surprised by this. How was it that she’d never heard about it until now? “But why?”
“He thought I would hurt you. And in hindsight, I probably would have when I left for college.”
“So, that’s why you turned me down when I asked you out?”
Tony nodded. “I wanted to say yes, but I knew your brother would lose it. So I figured the best thing was to turn you down.”
Her chin jutted out. “You could have told me.”
He shook his head. “It would have just made everything worse.”
“And so, today when you ran into Neil, what did he say when you told him you were looking for me?”
She braced herself for her brother to act over-protective.
He’d been doing that a lot with the whole family, ever since their father passed.
It was like he was trying to fill in for their father.
The problem with that was they were all grown up.
They didn’t need Neil acting like some sort of second father.
“Your brother wasn’t surprised. He already knew I had feelings for you when he’d busted us about to kiss. He warned me away from you that night.”
“Why would he do that?” She didn’t bother to hide her anger. “He had no right.”
This overprotectiveness had to stop. She was going to have a word with her brother and tell him to butt out of her personal life. She could take care of herself.
“Relax. He was just trying to look out for you. He was afraid that you weren’t ready for a relationship after losing your father and then breaking up with your boyfriend.”
There was a lot packed into that comment. She zeroed in on the most important part. “And this is why you pulled away from me?”
Tony glanced down as he nodded. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“And now?”
“I still don’t want to hurt you, so if it’s too soon for you, I’ll wait.”
She shifted on the rock until she was able to look directly into his eyes. “You’d do that?”
He nodded. “I would. I know I haven’t exactly shown it, but I started falling for you in the elevator.”
A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You did?”
He nodded. “Your feistiness. Your passion for things you love. And that dimple when you smile. Well, it was too much for me to resist.”
It was at that moment she wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him that she loved him, but she couldn’t do that.
“But we’re too different to make it work.” The weight of that statement had her settling back on the rock and staring out at the ocean.
“But opposites attract.” He had a hopeful note in his voice. “It’ll keep life interesting.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. You’re...well, you’re too much of a rule follower.”
“I can work on it.”
She once more shook her head. “I don’t think so. The thing is, I don’t remember you being that way when we were kids.”
There was a distinct silence, and when he finally spoke, his voice was barely more than a whisper. “I changed.”
She got the feeling there was a lot more to that statement. She wondered if he was going to share. Should she prod him for more information? Or should she wait?
She opted to wait. The water splashing against some nearby rocks, the seagulls squawking, and the wind were the only sounds.
As the time stretched on, she accepted that he wasn’t going to confide in her.
His inability to trust her served as confirmation that trying to take their friendship to the next level would be a mistake.
One of them—probably both of them—would end up getting hurt.
“I had a big case before I left my position as ADA. It was high profile, and it had just fallen apart when the key witness was murdered. I was certain it had been ordered by the defendant. I just couldn’t prove it.” His voice was low and gravelly with emotion.
She remained quiet. She had a feeling he was about to reveal something important.
He sighed. “At that point, I was fully invested in the case—perhaps too invested. When we roped in the previous assistant district attorney, who had moved to the private sector, he gave us some actionable information. Long story short, I relied on my relationship with him instead of following protocol and independently confirming everything he told us. In the end, myself and my investigator walked into an ambush.”
She gasped. This was so much more than she’d been expecting. She had questions—so many questions—but she held them in, letting him tell this horrific story at his own pace.
He had a faraway look in his eyes. “I don’t remember a lot about it.
The whole thing went down in a matter of seconds.
We went to interview a potential witness.
The next thing I knew there were gunshots.
I took a hit to my arm. My investigator took a hit to the chest.” His voice was raw with pain as his chin sank down to his chest.
Tears stung the backs of her eyes. She couldn’t even imagine what he’d lived through.
It sounded more like a crime show than real life, but she could see the anguish in his eyes.
She heard the undeniable emotion in his voice.
It was all the evidence she needed to know the words he spoke were the brutal truth.
“I must have hit the ground hard because I was out for a few seconds. When I got myself together, I rushed to Roger’s side.
He was bleeding, but he was still breathing.
I called for help. In the end, Roger lived, but it was touch and go for a long time.
I blamed myself for trusting a former colleague.
The guy had been corrupted and in bed with the bad guys. ”
And then she put the dots together. “That’s why you follow the rules now.”
He nodded. “I know how dangerous it can be to cut corners. As much as I wanted to walk away from it all after the shooting, I couldn’t let those thugs think they’d won.
I wanted justice for the victim, for my investigator, and for myself.
The case was reassigned, but I did everything I could to see that there was a conviction.
And then I turned in my resignation. I’d had enough of dealing with the world’s worst of the worse. I just couldn’t do it any longer.”
She moved closer to him and turned so she could wrap her arms around him. She rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
His arm draped over her shoulders as he rested his head on hers. She didn’t know how long they sat there like that. It gave her a chance to put things into perspective.
She pulled back and looked at him. The pain was still there in the depths of his blue eyes, but there was also something else there—uncertainty. She could help with that part.
Her heart thudded as she thought about what she was about to say to him. What if he didn’t say it back to her? Her stomach churned. They’d come too far for her to chicken out now. She just hoped when she opened her mouth that her voice wouldn’t fail her.
She swallowed hard. “I love you.”
He didn’t speak. He didn’t move. Had he heard her? Her heart pounded so hard it echoed in her ears. What did she do now?
And then he got to his feet. Wait. What was he doing? Was he leaving? Was he rejecting her love?
Before the pain of rejection could settle in, he turned to her and held his hand out to her.
She lifted a questioning gaze to him. He looked directly at her.
As she stared into his eyes, she felt as though she could see clear through to his soul.
He’d let down his walls and let her in. The knowledge filled her chest with warmth.
When he nodded toward his hand, she placed her hand in his. He pulled her to her feet. And then they were standing, facing each other. He was still holding her hand. As his thumb moved over the back of her hand, it sent her pulse rising and her heart thumping.
He stared into her eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say these words to you.
Lily, you’ve always been the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be loved by you.
I’m done with wondering. I want to know—to experience your love. Because I love you too.”
“You do?” The breath hitched in her lungs as she waited for confirmation.
Tony smiled and nodded. “I do. I love you, Lily Adams.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. In that moment, it felt as though her feet had left the ground. Her heart pitter-pattered in her chest with happiness and love in equal parts.
When they parted, she smiled up at him. “You know what this means?”
He arched a brow. “What?”